Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Media Tycoon Singleton's Mormon Memorabilia


[Media] The D-News' "niche"-media-spawn outlet, the Mormon Times, defecated out a quaint little piece about how Dean Singleton, publisher of the Salt Lake Tribune (owner of many consolidated and cluster-fucked papers) and joint operator of the Media One company which cranks out the Trib and D-News, also happens to own a chunk of the Mormon pioneer trail.

The trail, which faithful LDS members still travel on to this day, recreating the trek of their pioneering forefathers who journeyed by handcart from Illinois to the Salt Lake Valley, happens to run across part of Singleton's 200,000 acre ranch in south central Wyoming.

The gushing article quoted Singleton:

"As long as I own it, the church is always welcome to use it as they see fit to re-create moments of their history."

Boy that's swell!

*In other news, Singleton has successfully acquired the Urim and Thummum, artifacts LDS church founder Joseph Smith was said to have used to translate the Book of Mormon. The move Singleton says is a cost cutting measure that will save reporters from having to interview church officials about future LDS revelations that may come. In conciliation to the Church, Singleton said "As long as I own these precious artifacts, the church is always welcome to use them as they see fit to create moments of their history."

The artifacts will now be housed in a Media One news sweatshop in Bangalore, India at Singleton's chief copy editor's desk. (Eric S. Peterson)

*For the gullible and Media One Attorneys, please note the latter half of this blog is satire

2 comments:

  1. I love it when the church "re-create[s] moments of their history!" It always gives me that "pure" (LOL) and delightsome feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am hoping that the SL Weekly will write some commentary about Singleton's (frankly assy) letter to the D.N.A. now that the Rocky Mountain News is "for sale."

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