The Pusher Man

[Push Poll] Last night, unable to recognize the caller ID number on the phone, my old man took a chance and picked up on the second ring. Seems he stumbled right into a pro-voucher push poll (though it wasn't identified as such, we figured as much from the types of questions being asked).

For the uninitiated, a push poll is exactly what the name suggests: A series of leading questions an a topic designed to "push" the respondent into favoring the pollster's position. A push poll has no basis in political science. It isn't carefully worded to help elicit a thoughtful response as in a Gallup poll, or a Dan Jones poll. Unlike legitimate polls, pushers don't use a scientific sample of the population; they're only interested in pressing propaganda.

Liberals and conservatives use them, and they are a lousy way to do polls. So last night, sitting around as we do like a couple of booger-eatin' morons waiting for stupid telephone polls to interrupt us, the questions from the throaty recorded voice went like this:

Pollster: "Do you believe your children should have the best possible education?" My Old Man (gleefully pulling pollster's chain): "No."
Pollster: "Do you believe that parents should have some influence in their children's education?"
My Old Man: "Certainly not."
Pollster: "Do you believe that people who lack the financial means to send their children to private school should have a chance to do so?"
My Old Man: "Why hell no."

So that's how it went. Old Man hung up before the interview ended. We don't think we got pushed into anything, and we returned to the blissful state of being morons. Can't wait till this election is over. You? (Holly Mullen)