How (Not) to Make Fun of Mormons

[Church News] So far, a Trib story about the change of a single word in the Book of Mormon -- expecting, no doubt, that millions of converts who previously had dismissed Mormonism out of hand will now change their minds -- has generated a whopping 334 Website comments. (The D-News message board has only 65, but the board is moderated and requires a login to post.)

Any discussion of the Mormons' sacred text is bound to generate more heat than light as church members starchily defend their faith against ex-Mormons, who love to taunt.

One thing we can all agree on, however, is that comments from clueless, out-of-state non-Mormons should stop now. People who have never lived here love to criticize Mormons every bit as much as the rest of us do -- the problem is they never get their Mormon-bashing quite right. They always make the same feeble jokes about "wives" and "underwear," and always in the same mystified, faux-bemused tone. It's just irritating.

So, for all you out-of-staters, please stop making fun of Mormons. They're our Mormons. We make fun of them because we live among them. They control many aspects of our daily lives. In some cases they're even our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and a whole slew of cousins. We know what it's like to be archly excluded from neighborhood block parties and we've learned how to plan ahead when it comes to Sunday cocktails. We've been there, man!

Until you've been there, too, it's unlikely you understand what's really funny about Mormons. You'll make the same tedious jokes in the same mystified, faux-bemused tone used by thousands of would-be jokers before you. You'll realize -- as, surely, no one ever has before -- that if you remove the second M from "Mormon," you get the word "moron." And then you'll wonder why none of us are laughing.

Please, just stop. It just isn't funny. (Brandon Burt)