Ms. Punytive Pontificates

[Promos Gone Wild] OK, Gold's Gym of Orem, just where do you get off holding a contest titled Mr. Puniverse that has the "puny" men of Utah compete in such challenges as:

* Girly Scream Competition
* Arm Wrestling an Old Lady

"At last," the promotion reads, "there’s a fitness competition that doesn’t revolve around the biggest and strongest, but rather the smallest and weakest."

And to show just how small and weak a man can be, a puny man who can outdo all others screaming like a "girl" (would this be a young female who has not gone through puberty?) AND pushing back an old lady's arm (what age might this lady be? And how is it that a "lady" would be caught dead arm-wrestling a puny "gentleman" in a gym?) can win $1,000.

Well, eat your hearts out, puny men of Orem, because the winner of Dallas' Mr. Puniverse competition got to go to Nevada's world-famous Bunny Ranch . You can read all about it under the heading "Mr. Puniverse Gets Laid!" Too bad all you got was a lame ol' gym membership.

But then, you probably didn't look this good. (Jerre Wroble)