Ain't Worth Two Bits

[Currency] The Utah quarter is coming! The Utah quarter is coming! Aren't you soiling yourself in anticipation?

The Utah Department of Who Gives a Shit -- excuse me, that would be Community and Culture -- sent out a press release today soliciting press registration for the "Utah Commemorative Quarter Launch" to be held 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Friday at the Rio Grande Depot. That's right, you too can join Governor Huntsman, the director of the U.S. Mint and other dignitaries for five freaking hours to celebrate the fact that the homeless people on Main Street will now be soliciting change with a local connection. Oh, and we can also schedule interviews to find out how all of these very important people feel about this very important development.

Naturally, the local television newscasts will trip over themselves to report on this non-event, the way they dutifully report on everything where there is a ribbon to be cut or a photo to be opportunized. (Scott Renshaw)