Thursday, April 17, 2008

World Ends; Collapse of Marriage Imminent

[The Gays]
Well, Brandie Balken and Lisa LeDuc have gone and done it. They're hitched now--at least as hitched as it is possible for same-sex couples to get in Salt Lake City.

The two became the first couple to sign up for Salt Lake City's "I Can't Believe It's Not a Domestic Partner Registry" registry, thus dooming us all to hellfire and incurring the inevitable wrath of idiots, mostly from out of town, who think it's their business to meddle in Balken-LeDuc family matters.

In all seriousness, though, it couldn't happen to a nicer couple. Brandie Balken is one of my favorite people in Salt Lake City; she's talented, friendly and just lovely on so many levels. (Mwa, Brandie!) Plus, she has cool initials.

So, congratulations to Brandie and Lisa, and as for the homophobic idiots--in your face, homophobic idiots! (Brandon Burt)


  1. Since 'the' church headquarters are in SLC AND the city has a 'two human life forms in the general vicinity of each other who are coincidentally of the same gender and seek financial benefit' registry, if lightening strikes and smotes the inhabitants to the ground, whose fault will it be?

  2. Don't worry dilemma, God is all about equal rights.

    He isn't going to get us with lightning, He's just going to let a big ass earthquake swallow up the entire SLC downtown area. That way all of us can still be together so we can sit around around arguing who's fault it really is.


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