Friday, September 12, 2008

Who Digs Beets, Really?

[Bites] So, I was having lunch downtown at The New Yorker restaurant yesterday (don't forget the Downtown Dine O Round!) and enjoying a killer heirloom tomato salad when I spotted it: a beet. There it was, cleverly hidden between layers of sliced, multi-hued tomatoes. And since I was trained as a kid to try everything on my plate, I reluctantly dove into this pinkish beet only to pleasantly discover that it was a slice of pickled red onion. Relief! The truth is: no one likes beets. Why do you think they're called beets? Beets are beat. I know they're supposed to be cool and hip. But if you say you love beets, you’re lying. If you claim to like beets, you’re fibbing. No one does. Come clean. Beets suck. It's time fancy chefs got over the whole beet thing. I don't care if they’re red, yellow, pink, or turquoise. Give us pickled onions. (Ted Scheffler)


  1. Come now, beets are the perfect food. While I could site many examples, I will stick to borscht. It beats any Mediterranean concoction hands down.

    I might note, as well, that in Britain, "beets" are properly called "Swedes." That name alone denotes their kick-ass power.

  2. yeah right. beets are delish. a salad with goat cheese, beets and walnuts, that can not be beat. (ha, yet it is)

  3. I believe you need to pay a visit to Schrute Farms out in Pennsylvania.

  4. #1 - In Britain, beets are called beets while yellow turnips or rutabagas are called swedes. Get it straight.

    Beets are awesome.

  5. That's true, anonymous. I realized my mistake after I posted. Beet root is still good, and turnips (swedes) need some help.

  6. No kidding, Ted! My best friend in the world LOVES beets. All kinds. We go to the downtown farmers market nearly every Saturday and she goes for the beets. She cooks them, chops them, sautes them, eats them in salads. I've tried beets in many forms and I just can't eat 'em. Can anyone convince me I should keep trying?

  7. Ted, you are sooo unhip man!

    I am drooling after reading your post and the comments. Ever had a fresh beet salad?

    I even love eating canned beets. Pickled julliene beets, yum! They have so much color and flavor and vitamins and minerals, how can you not like beets? I mean, look at sugar house. How do you think they were making sugar? ([ahem]I mean going to)

    Anyway, if anyone would like to jump onto the cool kid bus, feel free to contact me. I love to cook and I love to share.


    I'm going to brew a beetroot wine just to spite you ;)

    Maybe you can try some beetroot wine for your next wine column? I double dog dare you.

  8. Sadly, I'm way too ancient to be hip OR cool. I do like the idea of a visit to Dwight Schrute's beet farm though. Let's go!

  9. You are a cruel man. I quivered in excitement and anticipation, tasting the beets in my mouth, until I googled Dwight Schrute. :(

    Apparently I am not hip enough to immediately recognize a reference to a popular telivision show.

    Field Trip to the beet farm would have been BOSS.

  10. The trip to Dwight's farm would have been boss AND groovy; maybe even keen.


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