Brandon Burt's Losing Captions

[Cartoons] In my spare moments, I sometimes enter the New Yorker cartoon caption contest. None of my three or four entries has yet made the finals--yeah, boo-hoo--but I can dream, can't I? It's a fun pastime.

Trouble is, even if my entries don't make the cut, I still like them, and it seems a little sad that the poor little waifs never see the light of day. So I'd like to start sharing my losing entries. Feel free to submit your own in the comments.

From the Sept. 22 contest, now undergoing voting:

"However, before issuing your band, I am legally required to advise you that the Restaurant Clause Provision is severable."

Now, my humor mentor is Bill Frost. (He didn't sign up for the position, so I just have to take my lessons as they come along.) I'm pretty sure he'd call this one "too thinky." Should I have said "the Restaurant Claws Provision"? No, that makes it worse. ... Also, the band/bond thing is utterly opaque--but I think the "severability" of the "claw" is pretty funny. No? No? ... OK, no.

(Brandon Burt)