Did any of you catch the MTV Video Music Awards last night? Good God! If the children are really our future, then I'm going to find me a time machine and get the fuck out of here.
Seriously. I've always watched the VMAs, if only to keep up with what the majority of America is listening to. And for the most part, historically the show provided at least a few memorable antics/solid performances and a new guilty pleasure with a hit single actually worth downloading.
This year? Man, this year I didn't even recognize half of the "stars," although it was fun to watch Michael Phelps stand awkwardly next to a smirking Kid Rock while the new Dick Clark, aka John Norris, asked them innane questions about nothing. What a waste of time.
The actual "show" took place in a venue that could easily double as a Forever 21 dressing room. Is MTV running out of money? Is that why sister channel VH1 ran nothing but a rotating screen asking viewers, "Are you watching the MTV VMAs? We are!"
Remember when Nirvana played? Or even the Foo Fighters in Times Square?
Those days are long gone. Now we have Tokio Hotel, Katy Perry (guess what honey--Jill Sobule kissed a girl long before you. Try taking some singing lessons instead) and Paramore, a band that showed up in tiny cars but couldn't bring themselves to say something, like, smart about the vehicles' fuel-efficiency ratings. Good for the environment? Who cares! We just wanted to be different!
I'm all for cheesy entertainment, but the 2008 VMAs were the most half-assed celebration of mediocrity I've ever witnessed (beyond American Idol).
Now, does anyone know where I could track down a Dolorean?
Compare and contrast video action!