- I was so offended when she got to the part that goes, "Consider all the worlds thy hands hath made" and took off her blouse I had to rewind the tape three times to make sure it wasn't a trick.
- Just because I think everybody who disagrees with me is cursed by God doesn't make me a bigot. After all, God will forgive you once you start agreeing with me.
- Help! The gays are oppressing me.
- Suddenly I've developed an interest in other cultures—and you'll never guess what I've learned!
- The only thing standing between us and an Illuminati-controlled world government is John Bolton's mustache.
The only thing standing between us and a LOT of things is John Bolton's 'stache. His hairy, hairy 'stache.
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