- How can there be global warming when it's raining outside? How can something that feels so right be so wrong? If God is good and omniscient, how can there be suffering in the world? Why do people ask how you are if they don't really want to know?
- I know a way to encourage young people to vote: Make them all delegates!
- Oh, you wussy elitists with your "breathing"--here in the real world, we've got bills to pay!
- Maybe this time, if we ask nicely, the Legislature won't divert our Commie public-transportation tax toward good, old-fashioned, red-blooded American road construction.
- Everybody knows it's all Bill Clinton's fault.
- The judiciary should butt out of this "determining whether or not laws are constitutional" business and stick to what it's good at: selecting Republican presidents.
- You call shenanigans? Poppycock, I say!