Rising to the Occasion

[Media] The D-News has 2,100 words on the 50th anniversary of Rhodes frozen bread dough.

Now, I like Rhodes bread as much as the next carb-hound--it's not as dense and yummy as hand-kneaded bread, but it makes really tasty toast. That's not the reason I would like to shake Valerie Phillips' hand, though. I mean--2,100 words out of what is essentially a press-release item? That woman rocks my world.

I wonder what our own Stephen Dark would make out of the same release? Probably something like "Dough Bro," the tragic life history of a Rhodes worker who, 50 years ago, fell into a factory vat (d'oh!) and was kneaded so severely that the only body part he can move now is his left eyelid, so he worked out a system of morse code and has written an autobiography. His message? Don't end up like him. Be careful around dough vats. (Brandon Burt)