Poo and More Poo

[Swaddle 'n Sweep] If it's May it's television sweeps time, and last night, KSL co-anchor Deanie Wimmer had it covered.

In one of her memorable "staying safe" reports, Deanie took a sampling of swim diapers, pulled one at a time on each baby and plopped one child after another into a glass aquarium. The goal was to show which wrap might best protect us from another summer invasion of cryptosporidium, the creepy parasite that loves to leech out of shitty diapers and infect the swimming masses. For weeks at a time.

The crucial ingredient to Deanie's on-camera science experiment was oatmeal. She mixed the mush with inky dye, slipped a gob into the diaper and lowered the kid into the tank. Kid kicked away, and soon enough, we were treated to close-ups of little oat chunks slipping from the diaper. Deanie called them "floaties"--the scientific name, I guess. Probably Latin.

Anyway, since I'm long past pulling toddlers with loaded diapers out of the public pool, I didn't much care which diaper best passed the test. But I did enjoy co-anchor Bruce Lindsay's reaction when the camera cut back to him for happy talk.

Typically buttoned-down Bruce paused, smiled and let out his inner imp: "Thanks Deanie," he said. "I think you've permanently turned me off of swimming and oatmeal." (Holly Mullen)