Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Scolds

[Maudlin Media] Oh, here we go again. It's Halloween. It's a day for kids to go absolutely insane for candy and costumes and fun. That's fun. Remember fun?

The gang at KSL radio doesn't. Every Oct. 31, as sure as the leaves on the aspens turn golden, some forlorn scold(s) in the mainstream media has to conjure up the obligatory "what evils lurk in the Halloween candy bag" story. This year, it's these guys.

Don't let the geezers in the media turn you and your kids off to Halloween! Get radical, parents. Take back the night. Forget about the absurd "trick-or-trunk" parties where you lead your little one around an LDS Church parking lot and take candy from the trunks of cars. That's not the Halloween you had as a kid--why make your kids suffer? Give the little darlings spook alleys, dark-as-pitch neighborhoods, creaky doors, giant spiders and enough candy to black out. It's once a year, for hell's sake. Breathe. (Holly Mullen)


  1. Kudos Holly; let's hear it for old-fashioned fun and common sense!

    Hell yes! My 8 year-old is getting an IV drip filled with liquid candy corn beginning when the sun goes down. If he doesn’t get totally wired and even tries to go to bed before 3:00 AM he’s grounded!

  2. We always went to Mrs. Colum's house first. You got to choose between a carmel apple or a carmel popcorn ball. I think of her every Halloween. Now if it's not factory sealed it is thrown away.

  3. Well said, Holly. I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up as a child in this sterile environment. Today's kids are tomorrow's wussies.

  4. To Robert: I agree, we had mothers in the neighborhood who gave out homemade treats. My mom always inspected my candy sac, and verified where the homemade goodies came from. We live in a different time, bagged candy is fine, yet not letting the kids scavenge for treats is a shame. Today as an adult I miss the little goblins coming to my door in masses. I live in an apartment now and I don't get a single spook. It's a down right fright to think society has become so skeptical to deny the kids of running a-muck one night a year. What happened to the days of talking with your kids about the route they will be traveling, not to go in the house, watch out for cars, say thank you, and don't talk to strangers who approach you. This night can teach kids to be careful, and still have fun. Notice I didn't mention anything about not kicking pumpkins at the end of the night. Who didn't live on a street covered in mashed pumpkins on November 1st? (It's the sugar kick---ing in)

  5. It's "the gang at KSL radio", is it? And it isn't just any old parking lot full of little ghosts and open car trunks; it's the one over at the LDS church.

    Hope you have a happy Halloween.


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