Halloween Scolds

[Maudlin Media] Oh, here we go again. It's Halloween. It's a day for kids to go absolutely insane for candy and costumes and fun. That's fun. Remember fun?

The gang at KSL radio doesn't. Every Oct. 31, as sure as the leaves on the aspens turn golden, some forlorn scold(s) in the mainstream media has to conjure up the obligatory "what evils lurk in the Halloween candy bag" story. This year, it's these guys.

Don't let the geezers in the media turn you and your kids off to Halloween! Get radical, parents. Take back the night. Forget about the absurd "trick-or-trunk" parties where you lead your little one around an LDS Church parking lot and take candy from the trunks of cars. That's not the Halloween you had as a kid--why make your kids suffer? Give the little darlings spook alleys, dark-as-pitch neighborhoods, creaky doors, giant spiders and enough candy to black out. It's once a year, for hell's sake. Breathe. (Holly Mullen)

Bigfoot Sighting!

[Paranormal News] Just as it happened 40 years ago in California, we have a new Bigfoot sighting! By hunters! With a photo! Just in time for Halloween! From the scene in Pennsylvania, take it away AP:

"'We couldn't figure out what they were,' [Rick] Jacobs said of the images captured on Sept. 16. "I've been hunting for years and I've never seen anything like this." He contacted the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, which pursues reports of a legendary two-legged creature that some people believe lives in parts of the U.S. and Canada. 'It appears to be a primate-like animal. In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch,' said Paul Majeta of the Bigfoot group."

If no less an authority than the Bigfoot Field Researchers are convinced, so am I! From 1967, the original Sasquatch vid:


(Bill Frost)

Ghosts, Schmosts

[Halloween] Taking a page from The Stranger's fabulous Slog (and probably countless other online commentary waxing nostalgic over my least favorite cinematic genre), I bring you scenes from famous horror movies that scared the shit out of me as a kid (and continue to do so today). You see, I'm what you might call "paranoid." I check the closets for serial killers, check the backseat of my car for prisoners on the run, imagine creepy crawlies sneaking up on me in bed (usually just lint) ... and this is why I will never see Saw.

Tell me these clips are not creepy! Do it!

First, Stephen King's It. This is why I hate clowns. And Pennywise.


1980's Arachnophobia. This is why I don't shower. (Just kidding. Or am I?)



Finally, Copycat with Sigourney Weaver and Harry Connick, Jr (!). This is why I check under the stalls in public bathrooms.




I hope you enjoyed this. I'm going to have nightmares tonight. How about you?

(Jamie Gadette)

Best Bar Name Ever

[Halloween] Salt Lake City isn't prone to clever nightclub names (think hard ... nothing's coming, right?), but boring ol' Phoenix suburb Tempe may have the best ever: a Halloween-themed bar called Drunkenstein's!

Key word being may: The owner—who says the joint will be a restaurant, Halloween bar, Irish coffee house and music/arts venue featuring "ear-piercing death metal solos"—told the Tempe City Council that the name of his club would be The Haunted House, and then brilliantly blogged that the council probably wouldn't approve of the real name he planned on using. They didn't ... after they read the blog.

The Arizona Department of Liquor Licenses will have the final say on the Drunkenstein's handle, at which time I'll decide whether or not to move forward with my own nightclub in SLC: The FuBar. Oh, it's already a gay bar in Los Angeles? How about Shithammer's? (Bill Frost)