[ButtarsWatch] According to a Trib story, Chris Buttars has a box of T-shirts in his office bearing the slogan "We Support Chris Buttars," intended for distribution to his buddies at a Wednesday rally. This whole "hate lynch mob" thing has really gotten him down, as lynch mobs are wont to do, so, as a little pick-me-up, he's organizing a rally for himself.
It's a great idea, though; couldn't we all use a rally every now and then? It's kind of like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or sending flowers to yourself at work.
Still, how can it be that Buttars doesn't know what a lynch mob really is? Phone calls? E-mails? People calling him names? Please. What a sensitive, delicate little flower he is. Trouble is, he can dish out the hate, but he can't take it. Poor blossom.
Which brings us to tomorrow's rally. I wonder if "the gays" will be there to help Buttars with his little celebration of himself? It would be only fair; he always manages to make us feel included in his psycho legislation.
There's something a bit unimaginative about his slogan, though. "We support Chris Buttars." It has all the pizazz and zing of an insurance policy. A boring insurance policy. Without even trying, you could come up with dozens of unimaginative slogans like that: "Buttars? Yes, Buttars!" or "Buttars. Now more than ever." How many can you come up with?
That man says he's a champion for morals--but, oh, what a twisted conception he has of morality. (Brandon Burt)