A Disaster of Apostrophic Proportions

[Grammar] Oh, Birmingham! How could you?

The City of Birmingham hates apostrophes. Hates them. It hates apostrophes so much that the Birmingham City Council voted to ban them from street signs and place names throughout the city.

And, of the two Birminghams that can be immediately called to mind--Birmingham, Alabama, and Birmingham, England--which Birmingham do you think perpetuated this rape of our mother tongue, the Queen's English?

Why, it was Birmingham, England. I apologize to my Alabama friends; frankly, I assumed the American city was more likely to violate the language in this way. (I meant no harm. To make up for the lapse, from now on I'll consider "y'all" to be a real word.)

Apparently, apostrophes in Birmingham, England, were causing so much confusion people were running around willy-nilly, bumping into things and falling into crevasses searching for St. Jame's Place when they should have been looking for St. James' Place. Afternoon frolics upon Acock's Green were frequently ruined by roving bands of affrontive jerks who went around insisting it was really "Acocks' Green."

From his bully pulpit as chairman of the Birmingham Transport Scrutiny Committee, Councilman Martin Mullaney complained, "If I want to go to a restaurant, I don't want to have an A-level in English to find it"--referring no doubt to the disastrous evening the Birmingham Transport Scrutiny Committee adjourned its monthly train-peering session, intending to reconvene at Arbys, a popular Greek fine-dining establishment--only to end up spending a disappointing evening at Arby's, an American fast-food franchise noted for serving a helical, potato-based delicacy known in those parts as frisée frites. (Committee undersecretary Marilyn Glaughton, who holds only a B-level in English, was summarily sacked following the cock-up.)

The council decision has prompted a backlash from the Apostrophe Protection Society. The society, founded in 2001 by John Richards, has its origins in Boston. (That's Boston, Lincolnshire, not the other one.)

I'm a big fan of the apostrophe in all its mysterious, arcane weirdness (not least for its quirky abandonment of the possessive "its"). I love criticizing its misuse. If apostrophes weren't so confusing, what would be the use of copy editors? Apostrophes create jobs. They're good for the economy.

Apostrophes may be confusing, but is that any reason to abolish them outright? If so, then society could do well to ban other confusing things, including:

• Donald Trump's hair
• The word "football" as applied to at least one field sport
• Attempts to justify the application of '80s trickle-down policies to the current economic crisis
• The Balkan Peninsula
• The way Larry Hagman's accent gets stronger when he's invited to make a British television appearance
• Green's Theorem

Of course, such a ban would be ridiculous: Two of the items on the above list are actually useful--and so is the apostrophe. Determining which two items is an exercise left up to the reader.

I'm going on record in full support of Mr. Richards. I wish him all the best. If there's anything I can do to help with the Birmingham situation, I hope he'll let me know.

Or should that have been "Mr Richards"? Maybe I should ask his advice in starting a Society for the Protection of Periods* Terminating Abbreviations Where the Final Letter of the Abbreviation Is Also the Final Letter of the Abbreviated Word.

* That's "Full Stops" to you, John.

—Brandon Burt

Putin on the Ritz

[Media] As reported in the U.S. financial media, Russian P.M. Vladimir Putin's seemingly brutal response to computer CEO Michael Dell's comments at the World Economic Forum was either another example of Putin being a dickhead or, more charitably, the regrettable result of a cross-cultural miscommunication.

Russian P.M. Vladimir Putin:
Hunkier than you thought.

Obviously, it takes an unusually perceptive and insightful observer to make sense of such an event. And who better to turn to for a perceptive, insightful report than the rah-rah, all-hail-the-free-market American media?

According to Fortune, Putin is a mean, mean man with a "tough, demeaning streak." He rebuked Dell's praise of Russia's technological prowess and even his selfless, generous offer of help with a "withering" "slapdown":

"We don't need help. We are not invalids. We don't have limited mental capacity."

Such an unexpected reaction demands a multitude of wild interpretations by people holding varying economic philosophies--especially those who weren't actually in Davos, Switzerland, at the time. Here are some of my picks:

The Indignant Free-Market Fundamentalist Explanation

What an ingrate! After all, Dell was only offering to help. Belligerent unwillingness to take advantage of win-win synergistic solutions will be Russia's downfall.

Tut-tut.

The Thoughtful Capitalist Approach

When you think about it, economists, businessmen and politicians live in their own rarefied, artificial, abstract worlds. So when corporate executives and politicos gather at an event organized by bean-counters--all speaking through interpreters in different mother tongues--it's amazing that they manage to communicate at all.

Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding stemming from Russia's regrettable ignorance of How Things Are Done in the modern business world. Despite Putin's blistering indictment of the U.S. financial situation, Dell was not shaken. After all, Dell wouldn't be where he is today without that good, old-fashioned, optimistic, American can-do attitude! Sparkling visions of fresh, new markets danced before his eyes and he asked, "Now, come on, Vladimir. How can we help you develop your nation's IT sector?"

This was not the patronizing, unfavorable assessment of Russia's technological prowess Putin thought it was. It was just standard, feelgood, let's-be-friends sales jargon, akin to "Now, what do I have to do to put you in this '92 Toyota Tercel today?" People in the U.S. are accustomed to tuning out and toning down this kind of sales pitch, but Russia's capitalistic culture is still in its infancy: Putin simply doesn't have any frame of reference for all that Dale Carnegie happy crap.

The Paranoid Wingnut Viewpoint

Who's to say Putin really misunderstood? He's no idiot; in fact, he could be an evil genius. What if he only pretended to misinterpret Dell in order to signal Russia's intention to exploit the United States' weakened economic situation? And, boy, wouldn't France and all those other America-hating socialist countries in Europe just love that?

Putin's Actual Speech

Any of the above interpretations may seem plausible if you rely on secondhand reports in financial publications. However, if you take the time to read Putin's opening address and view the exchange with Dell, a very different picture begins to emerge.

Putin's got it goin' on for a P.M.: Who knew?

Now, some reports describe Putin in his speech as a "born-again capitalist" embracing the unregulated free market with all the fervor of an 11th grader who just completed a unit on Atlas Shrugged. But aren't they overstating the matter just a tad? Those who have particularly strong memories of the Cold War seem unable to let go of the fear that Russia could, at any moment, fall back into its old ways--so when the leader of a former Soviet state speaks knowledgeably on economic issues, it still seems like an earthshattering event.

It's been nearly 20 years since the collapse of the USSR, and the Red Menace is unlikely to rear its ugly head anytime soon. A critical mass of world leaders is settling on balanced, regulated capitalistic economic policies, fitted with European-style democratic-socialist political models. Being outliers, American lasseiz-faire economists--who are taught to have very strong convictions--must find it disagreeable to operate within today's world. But, until they master their emotions long enough to recognize that they no longer hold the dominant view, they're liable to misinterpret events such as these. That's why so many U.S. financial publications get it wrong.

In his speech, Putin addresses the global economic crisis, stating his disdain for the popular, new international party game Pin the Blame on the Americans. Even so, he couldn't resist reminding everybody that, only a year ago, Bushies at the conference were still crowing about the "cloudless prospects" of the fundamentally sound U.S. economy. Ouch!

Putin says this crisis is the result of a highly stratified division of wealth in "certain countries, including highly developed ones," as well as the "excessive expectations" of both corporate interests and consumers. (Sound like anybody you know?) Still, he warns against the abandonment of "responsible macroeconomic principles" and excessive protectionism. Both unrestrained governmental deficit spending and "adventurous stock-jobbing"--which, presumably, are what got us into this mess--are equally damaging.

Putin puts forth a number of practical suggestions--a systematic method for writing off bad debts, the elimination of "virtual money" and the adoption of transparent national monetary policies--as necessary steps toward recovery. (His proposal that the world's reliance on a single reserve currency be abandoned in favor of a system of multiple reserve currencies no doubt prompted the E.U. delegation's bowler hats to bob up and down in polite, approving nods. Meanwhile, visions of greenbacks being burned for heat by the truckload must have triggered a volley of tiny vomit-burps in the mouths of nervous U.S. bean-counters.)

Putin finished up his speech by pimping Russia's natural-gas industry as the ultimate future supplier of clean energy to the E.U.--once the necessary infrastructure is in place, of course.

Dell's Offer of "Help"

In the video recording, Dell doesn't seem to offer praise and assistance--or even a sales pitch--so much as he seems, by his tone of voice, to needle Putin, challenge his free-market cred and possibly even belittle Russia's sense of pride in its technological achievements:

Mister Prime Minister, you spoke of the dangers of excessive government involvement, and I found myself really struck by that comment and surprised to hear that comment. Six months ago, I would have never imagined hearing that comment from yourself, but I have to say I completely agree with you. [Rrrrowr!]

Now, to my question: When I look at the IT sector, you’ve made some pretty considerable progress, bringing computers into schools, bringing government services online, bringing better Internet access across Russia. But when we look at the level of scientific and technical talent, there is still room to further utilize the IT sector. [Meeeow!]

So, my question to you, really, is: How can we, as an IT sector, help you broaden the economy as you move out of the crisis and take advantage of that great scientific talent that you have?” [Fft! Fft! Hsss!]

Maybe Dell was only nervous, overawed and overcompensating--or maybe this is just a flat recitation of a prepared, memorized question which only seems to come across as arrogant, accusatory and patronizing. But, if he said this to me while I was in a particularly defensive frame of mind, I'd assume he was calling me out.

Putin's Response

According to Russia Today *, the conference translator got all confused by Putin's "metaphorical language" regarding invalids, etc., and what he really meant to say was this:

"We’re not someone in need of help. We’re not invalids. Help is something that you should give to poor people, to people with limited capacities, to pensioners, to developing countries ..."

Well, same diff. You say "pensioners," we say "retards." (What the hell is a pensioner anyway? 'Round these parts, we work our old folks until they die. Serve's 'em right for not investing in the stock market. Hell, if you hold out on food, housing and health care long enough, sometimes you can even get them to dig their own graves! Takes a long time, though, with no shovel and those crazy arthritic fingers.)

Basically, though, Putin was saying that Russia expects its economic partners in Europe, America and Asia to treat it on equal footing--instead of acting like condescending bastards. At the same time, he made a not-so-subtle jab at the United States' dysfunctional inability to care for its disabled, elderly and poor.

The Lesson to Be Learned

Now, I'm not a big Putin fanboy. Like most Americans, I actually know very little about him (except that he's a mean, mean man!) But he didn't seem all that terrifying during his speech. Just pragmatic, and about as opportunistic as any American businessman.

Not only am I not an America-hater--I'm an America-lover. I love this big ol' country of ours. I want us to succeed. Once we were "a beacon unto the world." We stood for something: the good, human values of dignity, freedom, equality, optimism, opportunity and a fair reward for hard work and innovation. I want us to be that beacon again.

We can do much better than we've been doing. The economic elites are still so frozen in Cold War-era anti-red propaganda that, instead of dealing with the way things are, they keep trying to find a substitute player to fill the Soviet Union's villainous role. And, all the while, our workforce is languishing while the rest of the world reaps dividends we don't even know exist.

Instead, our MBA programs have turned out a generation of emotionally insecure, irrational, stridently hyperreactive corporate drones who are incapable of understanding--much less competing on--the world economic stage. Our economists cling to statistical models based on assumption that are so outdated and flawed, they might as well have been reading tea leaves and casting chicken bones for the past 10 years or so. Our financial journalists--at least the ones who are still old-school enough to bother checking original sources--are too superstitious to interpret their sources accurately. The rest get their information directly from the blogosphere and Wikipedia.

The American economic elites are suffering from a Cold War hangover, and this hair-of-the-dog remedy they've been using for two decades doesn't work. The rest of the world is already up and at 'em. It's time to sober up.

(Brandon Burt)

* [Addendum: Media critics have questioned Russia Today's objectivity in view of its close ties to Russian government. As far as I can tell, it seems to be a state-funded news organ, in some kind of loopy, roundabout way, although some of its bureaus claim to enjoy some degree of editorial freedom. PBS or Pravda? Who knows? So you might want to take Russia Today's stories about Putin with a grain of salt.]

The Economy Sucks? Seriously?

[Legislator Disconnect] I'm still a bit agog at the way state Senate President Michael Waddoups summed up Utah's so-called life in opening remarks this week at the Legislature:

"I prefer to look on the bright side. Things aren't as gloomy as some would have us believe. Revenues are down a little, but we can still eat, we can have homes, we have health care, we have color TV ... and most still have jobs."

A letter writer to today's Salt Lake Tribune got the same uneasy feeling, and put it in words.

Waddoups, owner of a successful property management company, has no fear of how he'll find his next meal. I wish he could stroll down our little stretch of Main Street, between 200 and 300 South sometime. Bunches of people on the sidewalk outside my City Weekly office window have no health care, color TV or jobs.

Two nights ago, I called the SLPD to intervene when two street people got into a loud scuffle near the TRAX Gallivan Plaza stop. The man and woman were both seriously impaired--weaving around, her screaming at him, him ignoring her. He had taken her black handbag. She was screaming for him to give it back. He kept on walking, crossing into traffic, with her about 20 feet behind. Commuters on the train platform stood and stared. Did anyone pull out a cell phone and call the cops? Nah.

Ten minutes later, Reese the police dispatcher called me back at my desk. Officers had found the man, with the handbag, walking through Gallivan Plaza. But they couldn't find the woman. I couldn't give a great description of her--I had seen her from my second-floor window, but only from behind. She wore a red parka, was about 5-foot-3. She had black hair.

In spite of our Republican lawmakers' glass-half-full world view, there is plenty of pessimism to go around on this little city block. Perhaps Waddoups, as the most powerful man in the state Senate, could help all his cheery prosperity trickle down to these parts. (Holly Mullen)

Flight of the Conchords SLC-Bound!

[Music] That's right: Kiwi comic-folkies Flight of the Conchords are coming to Salt Lake City! Abravanel Hall, to be exact, on Sunday May 17. If manager Murray doesn't screw up the tour, that is ...

If you're HBO-free, here's a taste of some Sugar Lumps:



(Bill Frost)

The Anti-Private Club

[Booze Laws] The Utah Legislature tinkers with Utah liquor law every year. Even when the laws don't need tinkering. Most often they make a mess of it. They are about to again.

The governor has proposed doing away with Utah's arcane system of private clubs. His idea is one of normalizing, not liberalizing. It's not normal to have to join a drinking establishment in order to have a drink, entertain guests, or simply socialize. Utah isn't normal. Tourists know it. Drinkers know it. And non-drinkers know it. It's the whacks on the right who think it's hunky-dory.

Senator after senator makes ill-informed comments about "private clubs" like this from Senator Waddoups: "They help us track drunk drivers." Even the Utah highway patrol knows that's not true. You may know that the Senator's wife was once hit by a drunk driver. At 9 a.m. Clubs don't even open until 10 a.m., so go figure.

Sane Utahns made a big mistake when they began educating Waddoups on this and other wrong headed thinking. Now it's proposed that instead of having Private Clubs, all persons as in ALL PERSONS entering a club must have their ID scanned which will store their barcode information for 30 days. Not even I have had a 30-day hangover from one night on the town, so start there and go backwards. The state doesn't need my information for 30 days. Nor 15, nor 10 nor 5, nor 1. Scanning all patrons is the exact opposite of what a "Private Club" was and ought to be. It's a conflict in terms--what's private about having your ID scanned? That's Anti-Private!!

Let a scanner check ID if they must to eliminate human error on minors who started shaving in 8th grade. But don't scan everyone’s. And don't store data. That's flat out wrong.

Get the governor's bill back on track. Get rid of club memberships. It's the right bill. (John Saltas)

Rally for Higher Education!

[2009 Legislature] An estimated 300 students plan to take their rage over proposed higher education budget cuts up to the capitol. The rally at the Capitol will be Friday the 30th at 10:30 a.m. at the courtyard behind the Capitol building (120 State Capitol or 350 N. State Street, SLC). There's also info on the groups facebook page "Save Higher Education in Utah!"

Students are hoping to dissuade legislators from taking a gi-normous bite from the higher education budget--a proposed 19 percent cut. As a compromise, students are rallying to hopefully persuade legislators to stick by Guv. Huntsman's proposed 11 percent cut.

Utah State who has been pushing much of the rally, fears their school alone will take a $30 million hit and may lose over 600 faculty positions as a result of the cut. But they aren't alone as all institutions of higher education in the state will have their programming and personnel funding on the chopping block. Many students fear arts and humanities will probably take the biggest hit--but how bad the cut is may depend on who shows up for the rally! (Eric S. Peterson)

The Real World: B-I-T-C-H

[Locals on Reality TV] The Real World: Brooklyn trudges forward on MTV, a shell of its former reality-house self--has the rush of watching adults (albeit faux-hawked adults) act like spoiled grade-schoolers in luxurious lofts finally worn off? I fear for our country.

Anyway, as usual, Utah Mormon Chet provides some of the most embed-worthy clips from The Real World Dailies, leftovers so mundane they didn't even make it into the mundane Real World proper last night. Here, Chet further regales us with his knowledge of women, explaining that housemate Katelynn isn't really on her period, she's just a "B-I-T-C-H." Yes, he spelled it out. You can take the boy out of Utah ...



(Bill Frost)

The Clean Dirty Store

[Mo' Culture] When I first saw the billboard advertising the adult novelty shop with LDS standards called 'Husband and Wife' I had a small spasm/chuckle of disbelief. Even the billboard was a testament to LDS cuteness with the letter font that is the kind you usually see for scrapbook supply stores. Amazing!

Like an evolution of the Mormon Clean Flicks phenomena, somehow, some businessperson in the UC decided they were going to bring all the accoutrement of doing the nasty up to FYI standards. Incredible!

And when I sat down to blog about this uniquely Utah anomaly the neurons in the pun/snide comments side of my brain were exploding like the fourth of July (Pioneer Day Sales!! See-through garments!! Erotic Bunko!! The latest from the adult Orson Scott Card collection, Back-Enders Game).

Then deciding to do a little Pre-blog research I checked the business website and was, frankly... impressed. If there was ever a way to make a dirty store clean they've done it. To the disappointment of my inner cynic the lingerie was not the "Little House on the Prairie" style one might imagine, not exactly Victoria Secret but there's a fine selection of very attractive corsets, bras and various other unmentionables. Likewise the store offers dirty dice, lubricant, Karma Sutra massage-oil kits and just about anything else a young LDS couple could ask for. And here's the kicker: Joe and Jane Q Mormon (or Nate and Brittny Q Mormon) wouldn't ever need to worry about accidentally wandering into the dildo and pocket-vagina aisle--because there isn't one.

And I realized that Utah and the UC especially, have been in dire need of a place like this. Maybe it'll help siphon off some of that sexual tension in our fair state. Yes, much like the whole Cougar Videos and Clean Flicks chains, I detest the idea of censorship but if it's the only way some of my dear LDS friends and family can see great cinema, well then, by all means indulge. Likewise, if this store is the only way some nice LDS kids can have some enjoyable sexy time, well then this store is for you--and you won't even have to tell the bishop about it! (Eric S. Peterson)

Greg Curtis Sprints Through Revolving Door

[Ethics-Schmethics] Holy shit. Former Utah House Speaker Greg Curtis, whose legislative seat is still warm from his loss in November, is now a registered lobbyist for Phillip Morris USA, the tobacco giant. So much for standing up for the Word of Wisdom (among other questions about the man's judgment) in your professional life.

Please Legislature, what more proof do you need about lousy political ethics in this state? Wouldja just pass all ethics reforms bills (which include a "revolving door" lobbying ban on former legislators) in the hopper, like now? (Holly Mullen)

Gay People are Not "Dirty Shirts"

[Your Utah Legislature] Last night, in his State of the State address, Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. offered the typical laundry list an executive hands off to the legislative branch. Fund some new roads (though this was a surprise, given all highway projects had been put on hold last fall when the economy tanked). Support health care reform. Go for green energy projects.

And be kind to others. Help your neighbors in need. Help neighbors you don't even know. Be decent.

Funny. Just a few hours earlier, the Senate Judiciary Committee slammed to the ground the first in a rational package of gay-rights bills to the ground--right along party lines, of course. Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake, sponsored the measure as part of what gay-rights activists are calling the "Common Ground Initiative." It would have allowed financial dependents to sue if a breadwinner suffers a wrongful death. The law would have covered same-sex, long-term partners as well as anyone else in a family who relies on someone for financial support--grandparents or siblings, for example.

Republicans on the committee, of which Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, is chairman, were in fine form. They pulled out the "slippery slope" argument--as in, if we pass this bill, gay people will soon be nabbing our children off the street. (Don't laugh. I don't even want to know how many legislators actually believe it.) Another senator fretted that McCoy's bill is a "dirty shirt" in a laundry basket of marriage rights that would lead to legalization of same-sex marriage. Even though the state of Utah amended its constitution in 2004 to ban same sex-marriage.

McCoy and others who support Common Ground (and recent polls show most Utahns do), promise they'll work the other bills in the package and not give up. It's going to take the patience of those who fought for civil rights for blacks and for suffragists who battled for equal rights for women. It's going to take forever.

That said, will our elected leaders in this state ever, ever rise to a higher level of debate on this matter? Hate-filled speech, ugly analogies, unkind and fear-based arguments overshadow every discussion about gay rights at this Legislature. Their own Republican governor has implored them to practice basic human kindness to others. Still, comparing the gay and lesbian civil rights fight to a "dirty shirt?" Just sad. (Holly Mullen)

A Plea to Bruce Springsteen

[Utah Needs The Boss] 

Dear Bruce Springsteen: 

I see that you're firing up a new concert tour with the E Street Band this spring. Please, please, PLEASE come to Utah. I know you're probably still a bit miffed about failing to sell out the Delta Center back in May of 2000. I'm still embarrassed about that myself. It made us look like wusses. But despite being the reddest state in the Promised Land, we're not bad people. Really.

We have fry sauce. And not all of us have multiple wives. Some of us know black people. And gays. And the lyrics to "Rosalita."

As you, Boss, have pointed out yourself, with Barack Obama as our President, it's a whole new freakin' world. So let's wipe the slate clean and just forget about that little hiccup back in '00. I notice you're planning to play in Denver. Colorado's not so great either, FYI. Just ask the workers at Coors. I have to admit that Red Rocks is a pretty cool place. But we've got Energy Solutions ... oh, never mind. 

Utah has changed some since you were last here. In fact, by spring you might just be able to walk into a bar here and order a Long Island Ice Tea without being hassled by the State's alcohol gestapo. I know it sounds far-fetched, but it's POSSIBLE. And that's what your music is all about, right? POSSIBILITIES. 

It's not just about me. Think of my son. He's 9 years old now and still has never been to a Bruce Springsteen show. And let's face it: You're not getting any younger, dude. 

So just tell me it's possible that you'll think of us as you set out on your spring tour. For what it's worth, I went out and bought the new album yesterday, Working on a Dream. I didn't download a pirate copy. I could have, but I didn't. I'm not saying you owe me or anything... I'm just sayin' ... pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please? Come see us in Utah. You won't regret it, maybe. 

By the way, did I mention you looked marvelous at the inauguration concert? 

(Ted Scheffler) 

Local Band Wins Big!

This just in: Utah-based Mana Poly All-Stars won best song in the Social Action category at the 8th Annual Independent Music Awards. The competition is designed to give up-and-coming indie artists a chance to get a leg up without relying on major labels or conventional publicity channels.
Learn more about the awards and congratulate the band on their victory!




(Jamie Gadette)

SLAMMys, er, CWMAs Explained

[Local Music] City Weekly's lone media pal across Main Street at KUTV 2, man-about-town Gavin Sheehan, has interviewed our own gal-about-town Jamie Gadette for his ubiquitous Underground blog. Why? Because he asked, probably. Jammy G's easy that way.

Also, to help explain our new City Weekly Music Awards (ex-SLAMMys), which get underway this weekend at Monk's, the Huka Bar, Burt's Tiki Lounge and the Woodshed. You can read more about it in CW's Jan. 29 issue out tomorrow, but stop by and say hi to Gavin first. (Bill Frost)

Dead Zephyr: Week 272

(Bill Frost)

Absolutely Fabulous

[Beatles Live!]  The Beatles played their last concert for paying fans at San Fransisco's Candlestick Park in 1966. So we never got to hear live versions of Beatles tunes like "Nowhere Man," "Back in the USSR," "Because," or "Come Together," to name just a few. That is, until now, thanks to The Fab Faux. 

I flew down to Phoenix last weekend to catch a rare Fab Faux show out West; the NYC-based musicians don't stray far from home base too often. The Fab Faux is largely the creation of Will Lee, the hardest working bassist in show biz. You might not have heard of Will, but you've certainly heard him. He's played on well over a thousand records in his career and has been the anchor of Paul Shaffer's Late Show With David Letterman band since Day 1. He's also The Fab Faux's front man, aligned with a team of top-notch NYC studio aces who include Jimmy Vivino, Frank Agnello, Jack Petruzzelli, and Rich Pagano (Will would seem to be the only musician of non-Italian decent in the Fabs.) 

I know what you're thinking: Who needs another Beatles tribute band? Well, this isn't your typical faux Beatles band. They don't wear mop-top wigs or dress up in silly costumes (unless you count Will Lee's very colorful wardrobe). There are five in The Fab Faux, and there is no designated John, Paul, George or Ringo. Every one of the Faux is such a strong vocalist that he could front his own band. As the Faux put it, "it's about the music." 

I don't know when these hard-working, much in-demand musicians have any spare time. But apparently they spend what they do have deconstructing and learning Beatles tunes. And when I say learning, I mean every last Mellotron note, tambourine slap, guitar noodle, and vocal harmony part. That's so that you and I can have the pleasure of hearing what The Beatles would have sounded like live, performing sonically rich songs like "I Am The Walrus." When the Fab Faux perform that tune, you hear every last sonic rumble and grumble, every minute nuance, every gorgeous detail in perfectly balanced live audio. 

Listening to The Fab Faux aurally recreate The Beatles' songbook live is like hearing the music with new ears. My wife commented after the show that she'd never realized how complex The Beatles' music was and I found myself listening to songs like "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" as though it was the first time. What a treat! My only disappointment was not being lucky enough to catch one of the many guitar picks Will Lee threw to the audience for souvenirs that night. 

I lost count of the standing ovations during Friday's Fab Faux show at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix. From the opening "Back in the USSR" to Jack Petruzzelli's bring-down-the-house version of "Oh! Darling" The Fab Faux show was one of the best live shows I've ever seen -- and that's saying something since I've been lucky enough to catch the likes of Elvis, Bruce Springsteen, The Clash, The Rolling Stones and Bob Marley live. Here's a link to The Fab Faux's performance of I Am The Walrus on Letterman. 

Don't bother looking for Fab Faux Cd's. Their philosophy is, "if you want to listen to The Beatles music, buy The Beatles' music." But if The Fab Faux ever come to your town -- or anywhere near it -- take extreme measures not to miss them. You have my quadruple-your-money-back guarantee that you will have an absolutely FABulous time. (Ted Scheffler) 

Rock of Love Bus: Party Time!

[Locals on Reality TV] Salt Laker Kelsey survived another cut on Bret Michaels' Rock of Love Bus this weekend, even though she was on the losing team in a stage tear-down challenge (no, VH1 isn't even trying to come up with new material anymore). Kel got a special cell call from Bret himself to come rock VIP style onstage and at the after party, while her fellow losers were stuck up in the cheap seats (which are still pretty good, since the Bret Michaels Band ain't exactly playing stadiums).

Here's Kelsey explaining that AARP member Bret had to skip the after party because he was too pooped after rocking onstage for a whole hour. Naturally, drama ensues ...

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip

(Bill Frost)

What Songs Did FOTC Parody?

[Two musicians, one cup] For non-viewers, Flight of the Conchords is HBO's brightly sardonic half-hour series conceived as a vehicle for an eponymous band comprising a pair of Kiwi "digi-folk" musicians. A typical episode features two music videos; the Conchords are brilliant parodists, and half the fun of the show is recognizing which song, band or genre are parodied.

Season 2, episode 2 "The New Cup" aired Jan. 25.

Bret's purchase of a $2.49 tea mug prompts Jermaine to explore a new career path.

Song 1: "Sugar Lumps"

Most obviously, it's a parody of "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, everybody hates "My Humps" now, but you've got to admit, it was a catchy tune (and apl.de.ap is seriously hunky). Still, I have the feeling there's some other influence here--I doubt the Conchords would parody such oldies as Robert Palmer, but there's definitely something going on, isn't there? (Jonah Flicker of Spinner.com says it's Timbaland--and, craggy ol' dude that I am, I'll have to take his word for it.)

Song 2: "You Don't Have to Be a Prostitute"

It's a male-prostitute twist on "Roxanne" by the Police, right down to Sting's faux-reggae Jamaican accent. (You know, despite Sting's inexplicable foray into the somnabulistic adult-contemporary genre, I sort of liked him—until that unbearably arrogant and pissy performance on Spectacle: Elvis Costello With .... OK, listening to Stewart Copeland, the eternally precocious 57-year-old child, crying "Me, too! Me, too!" 16 hours a day would make anybody irritable. But could even the most Anglophilic and punctilious of viewers really care whether Sting's chivalric order is that of OBE or CBE? He was so quick to point out the difference. (Neither honor ascends to the rank of full knighthood.)

Insisting upon such distinctions doesn't seem entirely chivalrous.

(Brandon Burt)

Sundance 2009: And the Winners Are ...

The 2009 Sundance Film Festival approaches its close with the announcement of the awards:

U.S. Dramatic Competition:
Grand Jury Prize: Push: Based on the novel by Sapphire
Audience Award: Push: Based on the novel by Sapphire
Directing Award: Cary Joji Fukunaga, Sin Nombre
Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award: Nicholas Jasenovec and Charlyne Yi, Paper Heart
Cinematography: Adriano Goldman, Sin Nombre
Special Jury Prize for Acting: Mo'Nique, Push: Based on the novel by Sapphire
Special Jury Prize for Spirit of Independence: Humpday

U.S. Documentary Competition:
Grand Jury Prize: We Live in Public
Audience Award: The Cove
Directing Award: Natalia Almada, El General
Editing Award: Karen Schmeer, Sergio
Cinematography Award: Bob Richman, The September Issue
Special Jury Prize: Good Hair

World Dramatic Competition:
Grand Jury Prize: The Maid (La Nana)
Audience Award: An Education
Directing Award: Oliver Hirschbiegel, Five Minutes of Heaven
Cinematography Award: John De Borman, An Education
Special Jury Prize for Acting: Catalina Saavedra, The Maid (La Nana)
Special Jury Prize for Originality: Louise-Michel

World Documentary Competition:
Grand Jury Prize: Rough Aunties
Audience Award: Afghan Star
Directing Award: Havana Marking, Afghan Star
Editing Award: Janus Billeskov Jansen and Thomas Papapetros, Burma VJ
Cinematography Award: John Maringouin, Big River Man
Special Jury Prize: Tibet in Song

Look for a festival wrap-up in the Jan. 29 issue. (Scott Renshaw)

Signs That the Cultural Shift Is Genuine

[Media] We are truly living in a different world from that of last year. Check out Forbes' "The 25 Most Influential Liberals in the U.S. Media." Yes, the words "influential" and "liberals" actually appear in the same headline!

The sternly "conservative" (yet undeniably woofy) daddy-bear Andrew Sullivan made the list. And, even though he pisses me off, I've got to admit, he's dreamy.

(Brandon Burt)

Sundance 2009: Alumni Association

[Film Fest] One of the things that makes the Sundance Dramatic Competition such a fascinating gamble every year is that, with few exceptions, the filmmakers are unknown quantities. Not so with the documentaries -- and this year in particular, it feels like homecoming week. Davis Guggenheim, who improbably turned Al Gore into a rock star in An Inconvenient Truth, returned to follow actual rock stars Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White in It Might Get Loud. Liz Garbus (The Execution of Wanda Jean) has Shouting Fire; Doug Pray (Hype!, Scratch) has Art & Copy; and of course the Yes Men are back in the house.

Joe Berlinger has made four previous Sundance appearances, with some of the most compelling documentaries of the last 20 years (Brother's Keeper, Paradise Lost, Metallica: Some Kind of Monster). So it's hard not to be a bit disappointed that his latest, Crude, feels more like late-model Sundance advocacy filmmaking without much spark. His subject is certainly worthy: the 15-year battle of Ecuadoran attorney Pablo Fajardo to get restitution for oil contamination of the Amazon Basin by Chevron/Texaco. Berlinger dutifully allows the corporate spokespeople their face-time to argue that they didn't do nothin', but the film ultimately comes down to one of those "fight against the big, dark corporate system" movies. And as important as this issue might be, Berlinger doesn't do anything with it cinematically. He's had a gift over the years of making documentaries that are about more than their ostensible subject. He's not the guy who should be spending time shooting Police reunion concert footage just because Sting's wife is on the side of his protagonist.

Similar expectations surrounded a return visit from Ondi Timoner (Dig!), but she delivers big time. We Live in Public does what the best documentaries have always done: Find a compelling subject, explore its deeper context, and make it interesting movie art in the process. Her subject here is Internet visionary Josh Harris, who anticipated the YouTube/Facebook/24-hour webcam generation years ahead of his time, including some groundbreaking experiments in online voyeurism. If Timoner had done nothing but chronicle the life of the enigmatic Harris, she would have had an intriguing movie on her hands. But she also prods at some of the puzzles of an online world that allows people who feel unseen in real life to expose way too much of themselves. It's gripping as biography, as cinema, and as sociological history. Come back again any time, Ondi. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance Trance

A bunch of shiny happy people turned out for the premiere of The Informers at the Sundance Eccles Theatre on Thursday night (Jan. 22), including director Gregor Jordan (at the podium) and cast. It was sorta the Sundance stinker but it didn't keep the crowds away (Jerre Wroble).

A Bill So Bad, I Can't Believe It's Not Buttars'

[Law] Utah may be slipping as America's No. 1 nanny-government state—at least if this bill manages to pass. It seeks to make the use of profanity a criminal offense in South Carolina. (It also places the crime of saying "shitdamnfuckhell" in the presence of a 17-year-old on par with child prostitution.)

The most shocking thing about it is not that an elected state senator believes that such a measure could pass constitutional muster—but that a Utah legislator didn't think of it first.

(But keep it on the QT—we don't want to be giving them any big ideas.)

(Brandon Burt)

A Bribe by Any Other Name

[Legalese] Did you know we actually have a state law, to which former GOP legislator and state treasurer candidate Mark Walker pleaded guilty today in Salt Lake City Justice Court called "Inducement Not to Become a Candidate?"

It's a class B misdemeanor. The charge was based on allegations that Walker offered his Republican primary opponent Richard Ellis $50,000 to drop out of the race in 2008. Walker says he only promised that if he were elected, Ellis would stay on at the treasurer's office.

Hmmm. Inducement Not to Become a Candidate. In the real world--that is, a world not managed by lawyers--don't we call that a bribe? (Holly Mullen)

RSL Rallies to Help Midfielder Williams' Cancer-sticken Wife

[RSL and a Cause]Real Salt Lake fans can’t help but fall in love with midfielder Andy Williams. He plays his heart out on the field. When you factor in the torturous battle his wife Marcia (pronounced Mar-see-a) is waging against leukemia, his appearances on the pitch last season all the more extraordinary.

That's Marcia and Andy, left. Marcia yesterday celebrated her becoming a U.S. citizen, which makes the story that much more poignant.

RSL conducted a search for a bone marrow match at its Rio Tinto Stadium in Sandy at the end of 2008. Now the Williams' family church, Grace Community Bible Church in Sandy, is joining the battle against time with a donor drive this Sunday from noon to 2 pm. In addition, on Thursday January 29, the team will host another drive at the stadium from 3 pm to 7 pm, with all 30 players going through the bone marrow matching process.

According to a statement issued by RSL this week, Andy Williams says “we found out that Marcia’s blood results were the lowest that has ever been.” Her white counts are so low, she has to wear a mask and can’t be around crowds. The discovery of an abnormal chromosome in her blood leaves Andy and Marcia Williams with the option of either a bone marrow transplant, for which they have not found a match, or a cord blood transplant. The latter option is much riskier and the Williams’ cancer specialist has yet to perform the procedure on an adult.

Andy Williams will attend RSL’s pre-season while friends and family keep Marcia company in hospital. Time is running out, making each of these drives critically important. For further information on how you might help as a potential donor, go here.
(Stephen Dark)

You Kids With Your Fancy iPods ...

[Tech] Think you're all "hip" and "with-it," huh? Well, there's nothing new under the sun.

Thanks, Boing Boing!

(Brandon Burt)

Sundance 2009: Premiere Events

When it comes to the Premieres category at Sundance, there are two very general schools of thought. There are those who flock to them – in the press because they’re the movies with stars people will want to read about, and in the public because they’re the movies with stars that they want to see in person. And there are those who avoid them – in the press and in the public because they enjoy discovery, or figure they’ll always have time to catch up on those films in theaters.

Personally, I’ve often walked a sort of middle path. When a filmmaker I love has something new, I want to see it as soon as possible, and sometimes word on the Park City street will point me to something I’m thrilled I didn’t miss (like 500 Days of Summer). But when I’m looking at that schedule and something’s gotta give, I often give stuff like I Love You Philip Morris or Brooklyn’s Finest a pass so I can watch something I might never get a chance to see otherwise.

The Premieres I have seen have certainly proven as hit-and-miss as my own approach. On the up side, there’s Adventureland, a charming romantic comedy from director Greg Mottola (Superbad). The story follows newly-minted college grad James (Jesse Eisenberg) as he deals with his family’s financial troubles by taking a summer job at an amusement park in his hometown of Pittsburgh, hoping to make enough money to help pay for grad school at Columbia. There he meets and falls for a cute co-worker (Kristen Stewart), who also has something going with the park’s hunky (but married) maintenance guy (Ryan Reynolds).

The romance is sweet, but in a lot of ways it’s largely secondary to the way Mottola sets up his milieu – not just its specifically 1987 setting, but the specifics of being bitterly under-employed in a place where you’re treated like garbage by the people around you. It’s also full of terrific small comic touches, like a roadside bar advertising a Rolling Stones tribute band, the letter-deficient sign dubbing them “Tumbling Dic.” And even though Mottola clearly gave Eisenberg directions to basically pretend to be Michael Cera, he still makes a terrifically sympathetic protagonist. Warning: I almost certainly feel inordinately fond of this movie because of its era, and because even before the Miramax logo appears on the screen, The Replacements’ “Bastards of Young” launches from the soundtrack. What, is a 40-something guy made of stone?

Far less successful at creating winning characters is Oren Moverman’s The Messenger, yet another drama with an Iraq War theme. Ben Foster places Staff Sgt. Will Montgomery, an injured, decorated veteran who gets a rough assignment near the end of his enlistment: learning the ropes of informing next-of-kin of war casualties. The subject provides fascinating opportunities – what would it be like to have to be the “regret to inform” guy? – but Moverman never provides a clear sense of what motivates Montgomery, or what haunts him. It’s a narrative that just kind of lays there, the most complex psychology largely unexplored.

It is, however, a work of freaking art compared to Shrink. In one of those squirm-inducing independent dramas where actors are allowed to chew the hell out of their parts, Kevin Spacey plays an L.A. psychiatrist and best-selling self-help guru who – surprise, surprise! – is actually pretty screwed up himself. His clients include a sexaholic actor (Robin Williams), a wrong-side-of-30 ingenue (Saffron Burrows) and a teenager (Keke Palmer) acting out after a family tragedy. But nothing that goes on here feels at all like actual human behavior; they’re the kind of tics and twitches that actors love to play, and inexperienced screenwriters and directors like to throw at actors so they’ll be in their low-budget movie. And maybe that’s why the star-heavy Sundance movies are so often worth avoiding. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Viewing and Brewing

[Film Fest] At Park City's showcase festival venue, the Eccles Center, nothing stronger than water is allowed inside the theater. In Salt Lake City, you can actually knock back a brew with your indie film fix.

At the Rose Wagner Center, patrons not only can buy beer at the concessions booth, but they are able to bring their frosty beverage to their seat. Combining the Brewvies experience with the Sundance experience: It's an experiment worth continuing. If nothing else, it could make the post-film Q&A sessions more lively. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: All in the Family, part 2

[Film Fest] A few days ago, Scott touched upon the rise of documentaries directed by their subjects' family members, and wondered where they fit into cinematic journalism. I believe such movies have their place, but they only work when the filmmakers are honest about their relations and their approach.

In many cases, it seems as if the film's subject came up by default. It's a lot easier to make a documentary when your dad can call on all his friends to participate. While Shouting Fire presents an educational mosaic of the nation's most extreme free-speech practitioners, it only peripherally acknowledges that attorney Martin Garbus is director Lis Garbus' father. The film is well-made, but when Martin tells his daughter that there are other lawyers who protected free speech before and after him, one wonders why these people don't have more screen time.

However, there is a long tradition of biographies by family members, and there's no reason that these shouldn't exist in film form. Emily and Sarah Kunstler remember growing up as the children of a famous radical civil rights lawyer in William Kuntsler: Disturbing the Universe. They present a personal portrait that would have been nearly impossible for a detached journalist to capture.

One gets the feeling that the subject's daughters might actually be harder on their father than someone with more distance. When he decided to take on criminal cases for accused rapists and assassins, he put them at risk. They had to answer schoolmates’ questions about their dad's cases, and reconcile the construct of their father the hero with the guy who defended mob bosses and cop killers.

As is usually the case in cinema—whether fiction or non-fiction—the question isn't whether or not a filmmaker should tell a story, but how he or she tells it. The Kunstler sisters tell theirs with a perfect balance of the personal and the public. (Jeremy Mathews)

The Vagaries of Sports Reporting

[Media] The indefatigable Lois Collins once told me that sports writing is among the most difficult and creative journalistic disciplines: Sports writers must constantly come up with new and inventive ways to report the fact that Team A scored against Team B. The good ones know how to write about the most repetitive of events, day after day, week after week--and still keep it interesting.

Even so, it's not often that a writer must deal with a situation as delicate as that faced by Boston Herald sports writer David Teel on Jan. 22. How, exactly, does one write a piece about the basketball victory of a college team whose campus is still in shock from news of the same day's violent, public kitchen-knife decapitation of a grad student? How can you report a sports triumph in the wake of a human tragedy?

Teel's lede is a visceral and pulsating montage of free throws, fouls and hustle plays-- immediately interrupted by this somber call for a moment of silence:

This was also an evening of tragedy at Virginia Tech, a campus all too familiar with such. Authorities reported a fatal stabbing at the university’s Graduate Life Center and said a suspect was apprehended.

So before hailing the Hokies for their admirable performance, pause for a moment. Think of the victim, her loved ones and the unfathomable events that surround us.

... and then it's on to a blow-by-blow narrative of three-pointers, left blocks and jump shots culminating in a 78-71 Hokie victory. I have to admit--although I've been known to holler at the Jazz, hold Michael Jordan in the same regard as Darth Vader and suffer active depression for a week following the 1997 NBA Finals--I rarely so much as glance at the sports section. Still, Teel's lively reportage makes for great reading.

I keep wondering, though. At some point, Teel must have been grappling with the question: Mention it? Leave it alone?

How do you deal with such a sensational tragedy in a sports story--considering that, since it was an away game, the team was not subject to the campus lockdown? Was the team even aware of the murder prior to the game?

Should Teel have simply omitted mentioning the tragedy? Or did he handle it well?

(Brandon Burt)

Sundance 2009: Creep Shows

Last year, I suggested that considering Sundance's reputation as a place for earnest dramas and quirky comedies, it's actually a pretty good place to see scary movies. And I'm kind of wondering what the hell I was thinking.

Maybe it was the extraordinarily fond memories I have of The Blair Witch Project talking (if one can describe a memory of walking out of a midnight screening, getting a fallen branch caught on my pant leg, and nearly pissing myself in fright as "fond"). But despite my enthusiasm for seeing the horror films and psychological/supernatural thrillers every year, they've let me down lately. This year, Grace looked like a promising concept: A woman whose baby dies in utero during a car accident gives birth to something that may be a zombie. I mean, how bad can a zombie-baby movie be?

Not bad, as it turns out, but certainly not particularly good, either. Writer/director Paul Solet realizes he's got something as ridiculous as it is creepy on his hands, and he definitely has fun with some of the more over-the-top moments (think vampiric breast-feeding). He also seems to be tweaking vegans and new-agers, but does so in such a haphazzard way that it's not clear what kind of point, if any, he's trying to make on the subject. While the final 15 minutes turn into a gory-hilarious set piece, it's hard to shake the feeling that the whole thing was one big shaggy-dog set up for the final punch line. Which, admittedly, is pretty freaking funny.

Maybe Grace also looks better in comparison to its Midnight category-mate The Killing Room. The set-up is one of those Saw-like premises that traps strangers together in some bizarre experiment, the point of which is not entirely clear to them. In this version, however, we're also getting the point of view of the hands pulling the strings, as a veteran military scientist (Peter Stormare) breaks in a new recruit (Big Love's Chloe Sevigny).

And good for screenwriters Gus Krieger and Ann Peacock for shaking up the idea -- except that it doesn't actually work. The story ends up spending a lot of time on whether or not Sevigny's character will reject the moral implications of the mysterious experiment, but doesn't provide nearly enough insight into that character. So we're left to watch the frightened lab rats -- including Timothy Hutton and Nick Cannon -- try to figure out the point of it all. The scariest thing is that the big reveal inspires something more like a shrug than a shudder. (Scott Renshaw)

Real World Brooklyn: Chet's Got Game

[Locals on Reality TV] What's happening on The Real World: Brooklyn? It's so damned boring, it's not even worth recapping--sad news for the originator of all "reality houses." But at least MTV.com's Real World Dailies are somewhat entertaining: Here's Salt Lake City's own be-faux-hawked Chet telling us that he'll talk to any girl, even if she's not pretty (dude!), and professing his undying like for Alex (whom I believe is a girl ... right?).


(Bill Frost)

Sundance 2009: Tonight's Locals Best Bets

[Film Fest] If you're cruising around downtown Salt Lake City deciding which of the many Sundance options to pick, you could do worse than The Vicious Kind (which I've already pumped up here). You've also got a couple of interesting documentary choices in The Yes Men Fix the World and Nollywood Babylon.

Of course, if you want to unleash your inner nihilist, there's always Bronson. Co-writer/director Nicolas Winding Refn takes on the twisted life of Michael Peterson, an English career thug who re-dubbed himself Charles Bronson to match his brutish persona. There’s plenty of wild violence in Refn’s film, but there’s also a surprising degree of cinematic artistry, particularly as he captures Bronson’s own theatrical narration. And he gets plenty of mileage simply out of waiting for Bronson to erupt. Does the film really try to understand Bronson’s compulsion for a fight? Only a little. But Hardy’s hilariously scary performance makes him one hell of a fascinating enigma. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Congratulations Are in Order

[Film Fest] The Academy Awards nominations were announced this morning, a couple of days later than usual, but still during the Sundance Film Festival. And as seems to happen every year, at least a few of the nominees happened to be in town.

I kind of knew this, but it was still a weird experience to walk into the lobby of the festival headquarters just a couple of hours after the nominee announcements and spot one of the new honorees: Revolutionary Road supporting actor Michael Shannon (above), in town with the noir drama The Missing Person. And considering my enthusiasm for his performance, it was a particular pleasure to be able to congratulate him in person. And I'm glad he was gracious, because he is very tall and scary looking. (Scott Renshaw)

LDS Leaders on Liquor Laws

[Liquor Law Zaniness] Republican legislative leaders met yesterday with Mormon Church officials to discuss possible liquor law changes in the upcoming 2009 session. It's a customary meeting, according to church spokesman Scott Trotter. And it's a meeting of equal opportunity, apparently--church leaders lunched last week with Democratic legislators. The church is registering a bit of an open mind on liberalizing some laws, including support for doing away with the silly private club membership, as Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. recommends.

By far, my favorite line from mainstream media coverage of the private church/state vetting session comes from Deseret News political writer Lisa Riley Roche, who added this last paragraph to her story:

The Senate president (Mike Waddoups) said the legislative leaders were told "not to expect them to give us an opinion on every issue that we're dealing with." (Holly Mullen)

Sundance 2009: Lessons in Love

[Film Fest] Ah, l'amour. The movies have always loved love, but if it's a Sundance romance, odds are that it's a love story in which someone learns something.

The connection between love and life lessons is most clearly on display in An Education, adapted by screenwriter Nick Hornby (High Fidelity) from the memoir by Lynn Barber. In 1961 England, 16-year-old Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is a top student on her way to fulfilling the dreams of her practical-minded dad (Alfred Molina) that she attend Oxford. But a charming older man named David (Peter Sarsgaard) enters her life, and Jenny soon becomes enamored of his sophisticated world of art, music and trips to Paris -- even if it happens to be financed by a little thievery.

A surprisingly minuscule amount of time is devoted to Jenny's qualms about living a larceny-fueled high life, but Mulligan -- in a thoroughly charming lead performance -- makes Jenny's desire for beautiful things more interesting than shallow. It's a generally satisfying story as a whole, with one glaring problem: It's hard to believe Jenny actually gets into this situation in the first place. As played by Molina, her father is almost a sit-com character, far too easily swayed by David's smooth talk to allow his teenage daughter to take off on weekend trips with a 30-something guy. And Sarsgaard's David, frankly, doesn't come off as all that much of a smooth talker. Long before Jenny realizes it, we've already figured out that she could do better.

There are no such problems buying the central pairing in the delightful 500 Days of Summer -- in large part because we're told from the outset that this love story won't end happily. Tom (Joseph Gordon Leavitt), a trained architect slumming as a greeting-card writer, falls hard for his boss's new assistant, Summer (Zooey Deschanel), and for a while the attraction is even reciprocal. The catch is that the director Marc Webb's chronology flips back and forth in time, and we see their breakup fairly early on.

So what's the appeal in a doomed romantic comedy? True, the script does push the limits of cuteness, including touches like having Tom's primary romantic confidante be his worldly-wise 12-year-old sister. Still, it's hard to resist a lot of the material here, including a dance number setting Tom's post-coital bliss to Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams." Even better, this is the rare romance that isn't about the love affair that's "The One." It's about the one that makes you ready for "The One," as painful as it can be when it's over. That's love, Sundance style. (Scott Renshaw)

Today's Locals Best Bet: Good Hair

[Film Fest] If you're a Locals Quick Pass Holder--or just a local movie-lover deciding what to wait-list--you've got some good choices tonight. Jeremy Mathews commented earlier today on The Cove, and I touched on the documentary Burma DJ over the weekend.

But you'll probably have the best time if you make a run at Good Hair (tonight, 9:30 p.m., Rose Wagner Center) – and not just because of the off-chance that Chris Rock might show up at the Rose. Rock serves as tour guide through a documentary exploration inspired by his young daughter’s question: “Daddy, why don’t I have good hair?” What follows is a frisky, enlightening 90-minute trip through the multi-billion dollar industry that caters to (primarily) black women, selling them toxic chemical “relaxers” and weaves that can cost thousands of dollars a year to maintain because “if you’re nappy, you’re not happy.”

As a piece of filmmaking, it’s somewhat uneven. Director Jeff Stilson spends an inordinate amount of time on a bizarre hairdressing competition at an annual expo for black hair-care products, a freak show with little to do with the actual subject at hand. And Stilson and Rock ultimately go a little – okay, a lot – easy on the question of whether this obsession with long, straight hair is actually a problem. But did you know that most hair-weave hair in America comes from a temple in India, where it’s ritually sacrificed by Hindus and becomes a pure-profit industry? Or that the artificial nature of so many black women’s hair makes it, er, problematic during sexual relations? I sure didn’t – and I sure didn’t expect to laugh so much while discovering it. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Let's Misbehave

[Film Fest] There have always been politically charged movies at Sundance, but this year's festival showcases filmmakers – like The Yes Men – who decided to make their point by misbehaving. These rogue documentarians are up to no good, and they let you in on the adrenaline rush.

Louie Psihoyos' The Cove could lend its setup to a Hollywood action movie. In the seemingly quaint, dolphin-loving town of Taiji, Japan, the townspeople mask a deep secret. The fishermen, the mayor and the police are all in on it. As dolphin-rights advocates travel through the town, they see cars following them and men videotaping them.

Ric O'Barry, the former dolphin trainer on Flipper who became a dolphin-rights advocate, has been trying for sometime to bring attention to the slaughter that occurs an unseen cove that no one can ever see. So the activists embark on a dangerous undercover mission to steal the footage they need. Like any good heist, there's a crack team of specialists including divers, gadget men extreme athletes. Using thermal cameras and night vision, they plant hidden cameras, and capture all the drama of the operation on video. The tense, thrilling mission is more exciting than most Hollywood action sequence. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: Pop Cultures

[Film Fest] For years, I've repeated the mantra that, on the whole, the documentaries at Sundance are more satisfying than the dramatic films. But I'm beginning to re-evaluate why I espouse that point of view. Maybe the movies themselves really are that much better. Or maybe I just love the experience of walking out of a theater not merely entertained, but having learned something.

I've learned a lot about the world by watching Sundance documentaries, and if there’s one constant, it’s that you can learn the most about another country through two primary sources: its spirituality, and its popular culture. And when the two overlap, it can be particularly fascinating.

The World Documentary Competition Films Afghan Star and Nollywood Babylon took on subjects that I couldn’t resist simply from the film guide summaries. The former, from British director Havana Marking, follows four of the top 10 finalists on Afghanistan’s newly created, post-Taliban version of American Idol. At the outset, a viewer might fear that it’s going to be nearly as painful as early season episodes of the American American Idol, full of shrill failed auditioners. But the film gradually segues into what makes the phenomenon—and it is just as huge there as it is here—distinctive in Afghanistan. Will the viewer-voting for the Tajik, Hazara and Pashtun finalists echo the country’s historical schisms? Will a woman who dares to perform—and dance!—on television risk her life in a country that’s more secularized, but still deeply Islamic? I couldn’t honestly tell you whether any of the finalists are actually talented—Middle Eastern singing is still far too alien to me—but I definitely learned something wonderfully bizarre: In a country where overt sexuality is taboo, for some reason eyebrows are a subject of physical admiration in love songs.

Nollywood Babylon also finds an unexpected crossover between the secular and the spiritual as Ben Addelman and Samir Mallal look at the burgeoning local film industry of Nigeria. The film's primary subject is Lancelot Imasuen, a director making his 157th down-and-dirty feature in the capital city of Lagos, and its fairly evident that great artistry is less important in this world than telling African stories to African people. But more compelling is the nature of most of those stories: Largely financed by the impoverished country’s evangelical mega-churches, the plots consist primarily of morality plays and fairly blatant attacks on the animist/pagan traditions of the country. Do the filmmakers derive cheap entertainment simply from showing the ultra-low-budget trailers and special effects? Sure. But as a way to learn something about a country’s faith, economy and art, it sure goes down easy. (Scott Renshaw)

Vanzetti Crime's Last Gas

Utah's punk scene has a heart attack every winter. Never one single explanation for it all, some bands just call it quits. And at the end we either get some of the genre's best work from departing groups that will never be heard again live, or a bunch of pissed off kids who hate each other because they could get their act in gear to make a single EP. A few local punk groups (including another one of my favorites, The Explicit) announced their breakups in the past couple months. Leaving a void for other bands to fill, some of which will probably be going though the same process twelve months from now. But as the annual changing of the guard finishes up, we got one damn fine album out of the process.

SLC's own Vanzetti Crime have been keeping the scene alive for about a year and a half now. Putting on killer shows from The Outer Rim and the late Red Light Books, producing two EP's out of the DIY music handbook, and becoming one of the leading bands of the ever changing punk and ska scenes. The band formed in late 2007 out of the dismantling of another group that left bassist Austin Wood and drummer Trey Bird in search of a new formation, grabbing guitarist Mike Westbrook from a three year friendship and finding singer Erin Tooke through a mutual friend in an all acoustic project. They quickly started playing shows around the city and made a name for themselves amongst their peers.

So it came as quite a shock to the group's fans when they announced they'd be breaking up, due in large part to Mike being called to go on a mission. “We've known that Mike was going on a mission since before we even started to play together” says Trey. “But as time went by it became clearer on how soon it was actually going to happen. He received his call at the end of September for Mexico City, Mexico and leaves January 21^st.” Normally a move like this would devastate any other ensemble and would force an immediate split or at least a change in the lineup. But instead the band pressed on with plans to do the exact opposite, record a full length album before his departure!

“We started work on the album the second week of December and finished everything up in three days” said Mike. “We recorded live, meaning the drums, guitar and bass were all recorded together, and then vocals were done separate.” For their last project the band went out in search for help to make the album the finest it could be, and found one of the best men they could have for the job. “We recorded with Andy Patterson, he was really easy to work with, and knows what he's doing. It was a really good experience, and was much easier than we had anticipated.”

When all was mixed and finished, the band came out with the eighteen song album “Unity.” A polished collection of almost everything the band had to offer. According to Trey, “We always knew that when we recorded we would record pretty much everything we had, since this will be our only album, it's almost like a discography of all the songs from the past year.” Featuring songs like “Communicating Through Bombs” and “Untitled” that call back to the feeling of early 80's punk along side bouncy tunes like “At Peace” and “Solidarity” that hit the ska sound at its core elements. The album itself is a great addition to the current Utah music scene, and a fitting end chapter to the band's brief but loud memory.

The final hurrah for the group came to a packed crowd at Boing! Collective this past Friday night, playing along side up and coming acts like The Mooks, Talking Bombs and The Skaficionados.

“We all really love intimate shows, with no stage and a bunch of sweaty people bumping into you, it makes for a very fun and memorable experience and that's exactly what you get at Boing!” says Mike. “The Boing House has been a major part of our lives, not just as a band as people as well. It's great to go somewhere that sincerely cares about what's happening in community and the music scene.”

The crowd all knew the end was at hand and celebrated it for all it was worth, dancing, moshing and bouncing throughout the home. All topped off with in-house crowd surfing harking back to the early 90's venue days. Halfway into the set the crowd was asked to calm down as the floorboards to the home could be felt moving up and down. Which might have been an interesting moment, to see the group's final act of punk rock in Utah end up being their fans breaking Boing in half. Playing almost their entire album over the course of an hour, they closed up shop to a crowd singalong and a final thank you. No encore, no tears, no apologies.

As for a reflections on the band as a whole, Trey's says, “It's been a great experience. There's been a lot of good memories and we've met some really cool people along the way. We're sad to see it come to an end, but the past year has been one of the best years.”

“We've had some great moments, starting at Red Light Books and playing shows with local acts and touring bands as well” says Mike reflecting on their time performing. ”One thing we wish we could've done was tour out of Utah and get other people to hear our music. Overall though, it's been amazing.”
(Gavin Sheehan)

Sundance 2009: The Fandom Menace

[Film Fest] Genuinely interesting screenwriters often develop an artistic thumbprint as distinctive as any director's. For Robert Siegel (The Wrestler), if you throw away The Onion Movie—and he probably wishes he could—that calling card could be the psychology of losers whose sense of self is connected to something superficially inconsequential.

Big Fan—Siegel's directing debut, in addition to his latest screenwriting credit—casts Patton Oswalt as Paul Aufiero, a Staten Island parking garage attendant who lives and dies based on the success of his beloved New York Giants. One night he and his pal (Kevin Corrigan) spot the team’s star linebacker Quantrell Bishop, and impulsively follow him to a nightclub, where an attempt to get chummy results in Paul getting his ass kicked. But when Bishop’s legal fate threatens the team’s chance for a playoff spot, Paul has to choose between the Giants' well-being and his own.

Siegel treads dangerously close to caricature in portraying Paul as a lives-with-mom, no-girlfriend sadsack, and shows a bit of a tin ear when it comes to the heavily-scripted rants of the guys who call in to sports-talk radio shows. But Big Fan nevertheless proves both funny—and sad—when it comes to exploring the sense of power-by-proxy that comes from cheering for a winning team. Like The Wrestler’s protagonist, Paul can’t envision himself as having any sort of intrinsic worth as a person, and his most absurd decisions show a perverse sort of integrity. As tragic as Siegel’s perspective on this kind of character may be, at this point it’s distinctively his own. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Soderbergh's Surprise

[Film Fest] "You were never here, and you never saw this film." Steven Soderbergh told the audience this after he premiered his The Girlfriend Experience Tuesday night, under a sheer veil of secrecy.

Some audience members were anticipating the film's unadvertised screening, while others expected a special extended sit-down discussion with one of the festival's top alumni. Sundance first billed the night first as "Sneak Preview 2," then as "A Surprise Evening with Steven Soderbergh." "Don't miss this special chance to meet the Academy Award-winning director," a ticket sales email said, "and hear first-hand the tales of his unique career ranging from sex, lies, and videotape to Traffic, from The Limey to Che, and beyond." Such an event isn't unheard of at Sundance, and Soderbergh was already in town for the celebration of sex, lies, and videotape's 20th anniversary. But with the screening scheduled at Eccles Theater's prime time slot, most people expected something more.

Before the screening, Soderbergh sat on a stool next to festival director Geoffrey Gilmore to begin the special evening. Soderbergh said that people kept approaching him during the festival to say that they were looking forward to seeing his film, and he had no idea why they thought he had a new film. "Maybe it's because we do have a film to show" he added.

Many in the audience may have found the stunt more entertaining than the film. The Girlfriend Experience revisits some of the structural experiments Soderbergh conducted in films like The Limey, but fails to craft an interesting story to scramble. While compelling for its compositions and labyrinthine restructuring of a simple story, the film can't shake the suspicion that the core story is rather tedious. Porn star Sasha Grey stars as a high-end call girl who goes from client to client while her boyfriend (Chris Santos), a personal trainer, tries to find financial stability. Working mostly with non-actors, Soderbergh often had them speak without any pre-written dialogue. Unfortunately, they don't always have interesting things to say.

The Girlfriend Experience is one of the most unique films of the festival, but in the end may be more interesting to talk about than to watch. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: Straight Outta Brooklyn

[Film Fest] No Sundance experience beats that of wandering into a film with an unknowncast and director and finding yourself completely wrapped up in the joys andturmoils of its characters' lives. For a couple hours, you forget all thefestival cynicism, the sleep deprivation, the hour-long shuttle rides andbask in the discovery.

The Dramatic Competition entry Don't Let Me Drown delivers such an experience. Cruz Angeles' film focuses on a story of young love during troubled times. It weaves through the lives of two Brooklyn families as they struggle in themonths after the Sept. 11 attacks. Lalo and Stefanie, the children of these families, find solace in one another.

While certain plot developments feel somewhat out of place, we never lose our affection for these great characters. The World Trade Center attacks impacted both families. Stefanie's sister died in one of the towers, causing her father to turn mean and overly protective; Lalo's father worked as a janitor in the towers, and now spendshis days inhaling harmful dust while trying to clean-up the wreckage.

But Don't Let Me Drown refuses to fall into despair. It instead evokes the loving relationships between friends and family, allowing extremely funny organic humor to grow out of the character interaction. Angeles' greatest asset is his cast, especially the teenagers. They play well-meaning kids who laugh at and tease one another, but ultimately have each other's interests at heart. The past may be haunting, but they know that their happiness depends on how they go into the future. (Jeremy Mathews)

No MoTabs at the Inauguration

[Inauguration Inventory] The University of Utah marching band made the trek to Barack Obama's inauguration. But what of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?

The small observation party in our living room today noticed the conspicuous absence of the choir, which has made five inaugural appearances for five modern presidents: Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and both Bush 41 and 43.

Of course, it's pretty likely none of those guys would have invited Usher to join inauguration festivities, either.

The MoTabs' absence left us chewing on this: With all the fallout the new president faced over asking the Rev. Rick Warren to open today's historic event with prayer, could Obama's posse have sensed the bad political mojo over aligning even slightly with the pro-Propostion 8 Mormon Church?

Steve Fidel, writing for the Deseret News online vehicle Momon Times, put it this way:

"Overall it appears that involvement in the Obama inauguration by LDS Church members will be significantly less conspicuous than in some past inaugurations." (Holly Mullen)

Sundance 2009: Caught in the Activism

[Film Fest] Plenty of Sundance documentaries over the years have been intended to motivate viewers to some kind of action through awareness. But there has been a special sub-section of that category: the documentaries about people engaged in some kind of high-concept project to make a point. Think Super Size Me, and you’ll be get a sense for what I'm talking about.

Or in the case of this year's No Impact Man, think Super Downsize Me. Writer Colin Beavan, as part of a project for his latest book, decides to spend one year attempting walk his progressive talk by having zero environmental impact, and brings his wife Michelle and 2-year-old daughter Isabella along for the ride. And by “zero impact,” he means zero: no electricity, no fuel-powered vehicles, no food that isn’t local and seasonal, no new purchases, no trash generated, not even toilet paper.

There’s certainly some fascinating conflict in Laura Gabbert and Justin Schien’s observation of the family’s year, both external (the blogosphere haters accusing Colin of grandstanding) and internal (hard-core urbanite Michelle’s struggle dealing with coffee withdrawals and attempting to cook an actual meal for the first time). But as the experiment unfolds, it becomes less about what they’re depriving themselves of than what they’re gaining in the process: a greater sense of connection with one another as a family, with their community, and with the rest of the world around them. If it’s just a stunt, it’s a stunt that brings a family closer together, and it's as emotionally affecting as it is practically inspiring.

The Yes Men – Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonnano – also attempt to live their principles through stunts, as they first showed in their self-titled 2003 film that played at that year’s Sundance. In their follow-up The Yes Men Fix the World, they’re once again out to expose the follies of corporate America by passing themselves in various elaborately-staged hoaxes as representatives from major corporations. And once again, they show primarily how hard it is to say anything so absurd that someone in the corporate world wouldn’t consider it a real good idea. The film record of their latest exploits – pretending to have made candles from human tallow; announcing that Dow Chemicals is compensating Indian victims of the 1984 Bhopal chemical disaster – is certainly self-congratulatory, and more than a bit disjointed. It’s fascinating mostly to watch real corporate spokespersons attempt to portray the Yes Men as being cruel to those who to whom they’re giving “false hope.” But it’s still bracing to watch movies about people who live their lives as though there still is hope. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: More Quick Hits

Arlen Faber: I'm not sure whether I'm more upset at writer/director John Hindman for squandering a good idea or a great cast. His Dramatic Competition film is about a grumpy, reclusive author (Jeff Daniels) who wrote one of those hollow self-help sensations like The Secret 20 years ago. The phenomenon never faded, however, because the book was purportedly transcribed from the author's conversations with God.

If you accepted that last statement without an ounce of skepticism, you'd fit in nicely amongst the ensemble of characters who encounter this jackass yet fail ask him any interesting questions about his life or book. This is the kind of movie in which no one ever says the things that they obviously should – not for lack of motivation, but because if they did, the movie would be only five minutes long. Any viewer of mild intelligence will deduce Arlen's shocking revelation at the outset, but must listen to 90 minutes of greeting cards before the big unveiling.

The Greatest: A substandard mainstream screenplay hiding in a very well-made and well-acted indie film, this drama grows farther from the truth as it progresses. It opens with a rather touching depiction of teenagers in love, but then one of those teenagers dies a tragic death. The deceased didn't know his new girlfriend (Carey Mulligan) very well, and his family never met her, but he did manage to get her pregnant on the night of his death. With nowhere else to go, she moves into the boy's family's house, and into a storm of emotional turmoil.

Grief manifests itself in vastly different forms. Susan Sarandon's mother has become obsessed with discovering all the details of his son's death. Did he suffer? What was he saying when he died? Pierce Brosnan's father went the opposite direction to an equally unhealthy extreme, wishing to avoid discussion of his son at all costs. And his younger brother (Johnny Simmons) masks his feelings with animosity toward his brother, the family's favorite child.

While writer/director Shana Feste's dialogue tends toward the obvious, the interaction between these clashing characters is fascinating. Less fascinating is the third act, which sets out to neatly resolve every hang-up and loose-end. The truth, which the film approaches in its first half, is that death leaves unanswered questions, and that that’s okay. Too bad The Greatest takes the easy way out. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: DFWTF?

[Film Fest] There are people--plenty of them, and most of them smart--who considered David Foster Wallace a true American visionary, and mourned his death last year like the passing of a guru. Me, I've read virtually none of his work. So I'll have to leave it to others to decide whether John Krasinskils adaptation of Brief Interviews with Hideous Men is a misguided mess on its own terms, or on DFW's.

Krasinski (The Office's genial Jim) wrote and directed, and he does what a lot of actors-turned-filmmakers do their first time out of the box: creates something full of showy, actor-y moments. Familiar faces like Bobby Canavale, Will Forte and Josh Charles are among those who get to deliver monologues, mostly about their relationships with women, to an anthropology grad student named Sara (Julianne Nicholson) doing research about the male psyche.

The framing narrative reveals that her motivations are less than clinical – she was recently left broken-hearted by a man played by Krasinski – but it’s fairly tough to care about Sara as a character. It’s nearly as hard to understand what Krasinski is doing with flourishes like having his pair of wandering minstrel bartender/narrators addressing the audience directly. And it’s damned near impossible to justify Krasinski giving himself a five-minute monologue, considering that 1. he’s not adept enough a director to make the scene cinematically interesting, and 2. he’s actually not adept enough a dramatic actor to make his character interesting.

Only once – during a segment involving one interviewee's recollections of his hard-working father – does Krasinski blend visual style with emotional connection. For the other 70 minutes, he’s merely giving Wallace neophytes like me reason to explore how work so beloved could go so wrong. (Scott Renshaw)

Dead Zephyr: Week 271

(Bill Frost)

Sundance 2009: They Are Family

[Film Fest] I know that it's not a completely new phenomenon, but for some reason it feels more prevalent at Sundance this year. In the documentary competition, filmmakers apparently have decided that the most compelling subjects are in their own home--or at least in their own genetic lineage.

Who's making a movie about rabble-rousing civil rights attorney William Kunstler (William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe)? His kids. Who’s interviewing Martin Garbus about free-speech issues (Shouting Fire)? His daughter. Who’s exploring the story of Mexican revolutionary hero and one-time president Plutarco Calles (El General)? His great-granddaughter.

Now maybe it’s a quaint notion in a post-Michael Moore movie universe to think of documentaries as works of cinematic journalism. But you have to question, even more so than usual, what happens when a filmmaker is approaching a subject about which they can have little or no objectivity. Or is it worth asking whether it’s even desirable for a filmmaker to attempt journalistic distance, no matter the project? I have only seen one of the three films in question as of yet, so this is not about their specific merits. I’m just left uneasy by what happens when the eye on the other end of the viewfinder is daddy’s little girl (or boy). (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: A Good Year?

[Film Fest] By Monday every year, just like clockwork, the consensus is already beginning to develop: Is this year a good year or a bad year for Sundance films?

And sure, it’s an arbitrary and completely subjective evaluation. All I can say is, I have yet to walk out of anything in disgust. That, for me, marks a better year than average.

It helps as well, of course, to have a few things to rave about. Sometimes they’re the things everyone seems to be raving about; I’ve yet to encounter too many people who don’t love Humpday. But occasionally I get to go out on a limb for something that either hasn’t been widely seen, or hasn’t been widely loved.

From the Spectrum category comes 2009’s first out-of-nowhere find for me: The Vicious Kind. Writer/director Lee Toland Krieger’s drama sets up a distinctive dysfunctional-family scenario from that time-honored backdrop of the Thanksgiving weekend gathering. Caleb (Adam Scott) still lives in the same small Connecticut town as the dad (J. K. Simmons) he hasn’t spoken to in eight years. He’s done his younger brother Peter (Alex Frost) the favor of driving him home from college, along with Peter’s new girlfriend Emma (Brittany Snow). But Caleb’s got more demons than we can count, and the relationships between these four people are more complicated than it’s possible to guess.

And that’s where I knew Krieger was on to something: Every time I was sure I knew where the characters were headed, and why, I was proved wrong. Caleb’s an odd conglomeration of emotional drama, but Scott’s performance somehow brings this mess of a guy together. Every interaction strikes just the right tone, and even the minor supporting characters feel completely lived in. That, too, can be a marker of a better year than average—pleasant surprises from unlikely places. (Scott Renshaw)

Rabbi Cancelled

Better have a Plan B in case you were hoping to see Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (The Kosher Sutra) tonight (Jan. 19) at the Jewish Community Center. Sam Weller Books has let us know the event's been cancelled. (Jerre Wroble)

Rock of Love Bus: Kelsey's Still Rollin'

[Locals on Reality TV] Salt Lake's Kelsey has survived another cut on VH1's Rock of Love Bus, wherein "ladies" vie for the "love" of "rock star" Bret Michaels and his "hair." As we learned in last night's episode, Kelsey has mad skills on the ice, if not with math:

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip

That's Kelsey going in for the first hug, up front, gum a-crackin,' then later commenting on "the devil" Lacie. (Bill Frost)

Sundance 2009: Coming to America

[Film Fest] I don't mean to bang yet again on Sundance's knee-jerk liberal biases--OK, yeah, I sort of do – but if there's anything the audiences here might love more than a movie about people trying to lift themselves out of their disadvantaged lives, it's a movie in which the people trying to lift themselves out of their disadvantaged lives are immigrants.

That’s not to issue a blanket dismissal of such plots. Just last year, Sugar did a wonderful job of dealing with an impoverished protagonist’s culture shock. But we’ve also seen a lot of movies in recent years – particularly at Sundance in recent years – about newcomers immersed in the slow boil of our American melting pot. And as individual as some of these stories may be, you start to wonder how many different ways there are to talk about what it’s like to get to – and be in – 21st-century America for the first time.

Cherien Dabis’ Amreeka certainly comes at the subject from a solidly intriguing point of view. Palestinian single mother Muna Farah (Nisreen Faour), fearing for the future of her 15-year-old son Fadi, takes advantage of receiving a long-delayed visa request and moves to Illinois, where her sister and her family live. Many of the expected challenges ensue – Fadi facing bigoted classmates; well-educated Muna winding up underemployed at a fast-food restaurant – while compounding them by setting the story in 2003 during the early days of the Iraq War. Faour delivers a rich performance, somewhat making up for a narrative that races through Fadi’s Americanization from fresh of the boat to getting stoned and wearing hip-hop gear in seemingly a matter of days. It’s understated, and only a little bit familiar.

More familiar – though only partly – is the milieu of Sin Nombre. Writer/director Cary Joji Fukunaga follows three primary protagonists over several days: Sayra, a Honduran teenager attempting to get to New Jersey with her estranged birth father; Casper, a young gang member in southern Mexico; and Smiley, Casper’s 11-year-old protégé. After Casper saves Sayra by killing one of his own fellow gang brothers, the two wind up on the run together, leaving Smiley’s story mostly in the dust – and that becomes the movie’s biggest frustration. The hardships of the illegal immigrant journey to America have been covered in many other movies (most recently something like La Misma Luna); far less so the way a pre-adolescent would-be gangsta has to make adult choices far too soon. The gang angle gives Sin Nombre a distinctive point of view, but it’s also the point of view that sometimes gets lost in the river crossings and immigration raids. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Cold Clones and Returning Souls

[Film Fest] This could be the Sundance of the surreal metaphysical science-fiction film. When I watched Kanji Nakajima's World Dramatic Competition film The Clone Returns Home, I didn't imagine I'd see many films like it during the festival. But at least two Sundance films beg comparison to it.

Scott already wrote about the commonalities between Moon and The Clone Returns Home, although I didn't read his spoiler-warned blog entry in its entirety because I haven't seen Moon yet. I did, however, see Sophie Barthes' Cold Souls, and I couldn't get its Japanese counterpart out of my mind.

A poetic and philosophical meditation, the beautifully photographed Clone spends much of its second half pondering a cloned man's connection with his soul. What is he like without it? What about when it's just lingering around outside of him?

Barthes' film touches on the same questions. It's sure to earn comparisons to Being John Malkovich for its humorous existential sci-fi and the casting of a well-regarded actor—this time Paul Giamatti—as himself. It's also unique and memorable in its own right. The on-screen character of Giamatti feels twisted up inside, so he decides to have his soul removed and put into storage, based on reports that it will make him happier. But the bizarre procedure of course creates greater conflicts of despair and identity. Maybe next time Giamatti will try getting a clone instead. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: The Kids Aren't Alright

[Film Fest] Some Sundance "double-features" --like the one I suggested on Friday for Moon and The Clone Returns Home--are kind of fun and silly to contemplate. And then there are pairings like Over the Hills and Far Away and Boy Interrupted that would exist primarily to give any caring parent nightmares.

In Over the Hills, filmmaker Michel Orion Scott chronicles a journey undertaken by writer Rupert Isaacson and his wife Kristin with their severely autistic 5-year-old son Rowan. Drawing from his experience with shamanistic cultures in Africa and Rowan’s affinity for horses, Rupert comes up with a seemingly crazy notion: dragging the entire family to Mongolia to attempt healing rituals with the remote shamanistic natives. The details of the trip are certainly compelling, but even more compelling is the portrait of parents who can begin to reach for desperate measures when they believe their child is in pain. And to the parents’ credit, it always feels more like their efforts are more about Rowan’s pain than their own.

There’s a reasonably happy ending to Rupert’s journey, but not so for the grieving parents who are both the subject and the creators of Boy Interrupted. Documentary filmmakers Dana and Hart Perry tell the wrenching story of their son Evan, who committed suicide at the age of 15. It’s a devastating portrait of a child with bipolar disorder, but the Perry’s manage to tell their tale without ever wallowing in pathos. It always feels more like an attempt to let other parents know that they’re not alone, rather than some guilt-purge. If you are a parent yourself – or maybe even just an empathetic human being – prepare to deal with a lump in your throat. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Quick Hits

[Film Fest] An omnibus post to catch up on a backlog of Sundance titles:

Paper Heart: Remember actress-comedian Charlyne Yi from those 30 seconds in Knocked Up where she’s hilarious as Martin Starr’s stoned girlfriend? Apparently that’s about the limit of my tolerance for her spacey persona. In this Borat-style fake-umentary, Yi plays herself as a never-been-in-love gal using a cross-country, movie project as a way to find out what love is. In between interviews with actual couples that play like outtakes from When Harry Met Sally’s interstitial segments, she happens to start a relationship with Michael Cera, also playing himself (and also Yi’s real-life significant other). Cera continues to be effortlessly charming in almost everything he does, but a little bit of Yi goes a loooooong way. How much one enjoys this slight little comedy depends a lot on how much one believes its inventive scenes (like the attempt to stage a romantic walk along the beach) offset its star’s one-note goofiness.

Art & Copy: Irony alert! Director Doug Pray has made a movie about the advertising industry in which he suggests that behind the self-serving messages is a genuine artistry—and he has done so by applying a genuine artistry to an incredibly self-serving message. Some genuine innovators in the world of advertising are given an opportunity to talk about memorable landmarks in television and print commercials, and indeed the ads about which they enthuse were game-changers: Nike’s “Just Do It;” Ronald Reagan’s 1984 “Morning in America;” “I want my MTV.” But aside from offering the occasional anecdote about the inspiration behind some of these taglines (like Gary Gilmore’s pre-execution plea leading to the “Just Do It” campaign), Pray doesn’t dig much deeper into either the history or the ethics of the industry, and gives his subjects a whole lot of time to pat themselves on the back. It’s entertaining, but if it’s not actually a blowjob to Madison Avenue, it’s at least a little close to the beltline for comfort.

Big River Man: For about an hour, I thought director John Maringouin had taken an already fascinating subject – Slovenian distance swimmer Martin Strel’s 2007 attempt to swim the 3,300-mile length of the Amazon River – and knocked it out of the park. Strel makes a wonderfully complex protagonist: a 52-year-old, overweight functional alcoholic with high blood pressure whose compulsion to swim these rivers may have as much to do with his own troubled history as with his stated goal of drawing attention to environmental issues. But as Strel’s sanity gets progressively wobblier over the course of his two-month journey, so does Maringouin’s grip on the story. His efforts to convey Strel’s mental state visually distract him from the fact that the movie itself starts to feel about 20 minutes too long, even at only 105 minutes. Sometimes, though, 60 terrific minutes can make up for a lot. (Scott Renshaw)

Haunty Birthday

[Poe at 200]  Monday, January 19, 2009 is Martin Luther King Day and the eve of Barack Obama's presidential inauguration -- an historic day, for sure. It's also the 200th birthday of the macabre master himself, Edgar Allan Poe, who was born on January 19, 1809 in Baltimore. 

The city of Baltimore is hosting a year-long celebration of Poe's 200th birthday with the Edgar Allan Poe Bicentennial Celebration, featuring actor and Poe aficionado John Astin (aka The Addams Family's "Gomez") performing his spine-chilling readings of Poe's works. 

I can't help but wonder if the NFL's Baltimore Ravens were named for their hometown hero's most famous work. Nevermore .... nevermore. 

(Ted Scheffler) 

Sundance 2009: No Country for Old-School P.I.'s

These modern times don't suit the hard-boiled private investigator. With all the anti-smoking laws and Surgeon General warnings, Detective John Rosow can’t even inhale one visually satisfying lungful without someone asking him to extinguish his butt. If it weren't for his flask, the chain-smoking, hard-drinking hero of The Missing Person would be completely emasculated.

Michael Shannon tackles this character with a bravura deadpan, creating a man who would like to be Humphrey Bogart’s Phillip Marlowe, just so long as he doesn’t have to try too hard. He gets cut-off at the first sign of a flirtatious double-entendre. He tries to deliver snappy Chandler-esque one-liners, but instead confuses people. To compensate for these short-comings, he drinks extra-hard.

Whether or not the film’s convoluted plot happens to be working or not, writer/director Noah Buschel lends a quiet, at times oddly amusing rhythm to his noir-throwback about a detective following a man for unknown reasons. Dark and drained of much of its color, the visuals draw you with a foggy sense of mystery. The cinematography would be right at home with some cigarette smoke -- but it is, after all, a filthy habit. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: (Don't) Stop the Press

Over the last year, when they haven’t been spending their time on a death-spiraling economy and a historic presidential election, journalists have been trying very hard to make us all understand one thing: It sucks right now to be a journalist.

Two Sundance documentaries this year deal not so much with the craptastic world of trying to make a living in the news media, but with why journalists should be considered vital to our world’s well-being. The American Competition documentary Reporter follows New York Times Pulitzer Prize-winner Nicholas Kristof on his latest crusade: attempting to bring international attention to ongoing war in the Congo that, in Kristof’s words, remains “one big massive gang war.” It’s certainly inspiring watching Kristof take his life into his hands as he meets with a Tutsi warlord named Nkunda – discovering in the process that Nkunda is also a minister. But director Eric Daniel Metzgar doesn’t really have a filmmaking point of view other than watching Kristof on his various rounds. You get the sense that he’s kind of stretching his material when he includes virtually the entirety of Kristof’s appearance on The Colbert Report. And amusing though it may be, those sequences further the cause of fake comedy-journalism more than the cause of actual journalism.

Somewhat more compelling in a similar vein is Burma VJ, director Anders Ostgergaard’s paean to the Burmese citizen videographers whose amateur footage of 2007 protests against the military government – smuggled out of the country by satellite to Norway – allowed the world a chance to see the isolated nation in turmoil. Ostergaard acknowledges at the outset re-creating scenes of our narrator, who goes by the alias “Joshua,” wrangling the work of his various men on the street, and the device proves occasionally distracting. It’s hard, however, to shake the power of the actual footage: including the assassination of a Japanese journalist in the street and the videographers’ attempts after one protest to scramble for safety. We need brave, intrepid journalists to tell the world’s hard stories, but we also need good cinematic storytellers to do justice to their efforts. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Mex Masters

No Sundance screening had more clout behind its introduction than Carlos Cuarón's Rudo y Cursi. Usually a film's producers aren't invited up for introductions, but when they also happen to be two of the three directors responsible for resurrecting Mexican cinema, how could festival organizers resist?

Directors Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men) and Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) came to celebrate the first film of their new production company, formed with Alejandro González Iñárritu (Babel). Carlos, who co-wrote his brother Alfonso's Y Tu Mama Tambien, reunited that film's stars, Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, in a story of two brothers who break out of their small-town existence to pursue professional soccer careers.

Intentionally leaving out much of the on-field action, Cuaron concentrates on personal comedy and drama as the characters discover that the reality of their careers doesn't match the fantasy. Idolized love, gambling problems and jealousy plague their lives and relationships, steadily building to a brilliant conclusion. When, in the climax, the camera finally turns to an actual sporting event, we know painfully well what the result means to the characters. In the moments leading up to it, the tension was as strong as any sports movie I've seen—it made me sick to my stomach. Talk about a gut reaction. (Jeremy Mathews)

The Happy Couple

[Presidential Mettle] I knew I voted for Barack Obama for more than political reasons. What wife wouldn't want her husband to describe their relationship this way? Happy Inauguration Day, all. (Holly Mullen)

Sundance 2009: Taking a Stand

Last year, I took some heat about replying to a blog comment during Sundance. I slammed the competition drama North Starr – or at least the 20 excruciating minutes I watched before walking out. A disgruntled commenter noted that the movie had received a standing ovation at its premiere public screening. And I posted an observation that defending a film based on the enthusiasm of a Sundance audience was like defending the attractiveness of a baby based on the enthusiasm of its parents.

This is particularly true when the subject of the film – as was the case with North Starr – is someone from the lower socio-economic strata attempting to change the circumstances of his/her life. If you’ll permit me a moment of cynicism, there’s a liberal Pavlovian response at work here. Maybe the film really is terrific. Or maybe everyone just loves the message, irrespective of its means of delivery.

Reportedly, audiences went gaga at the premieres of this year’s competition dramas Toe to Toe and Push: Based on the novel by Sapphire. Curiously enough, both address the same basic subject matter as that mentioned above, though in different ways. Toe to Toe follows two classmates and lacrosse teammates at a Washington, D.C. prep school: Jesse (Louisa Krause, a dead ringer for Kirsten Dunst), a rich white girl who acts out being ignored by her high-powered mother through sexual promiscuity; and Tosha (Sonequa Martin), a black girl from a low-income neighborhood feeling pressure from her grandmother to make it into Princeton. The latter story’s a fairly gripping one, dealing with Tosha’s tension between those around her who want to keep her down, and her own resentment at being pushed so hard to succeed. Unfortunately, it’s far more difficult to engage with Jesse’s situation. Even when the consequences are severe, her self-destructive flings simply never resonate as strongly as Tosha’s problems.

Push wisely holds the focus on one protagonist, 16-year-old Precious Jones (Gabourey Sidibe). Then again, she has enough problems for a dozen movies: she’s illiterate, she’s terribly overweight, she’s pregnant with the second baby from sexual assaults by her father, and her mother (Mo’Nique, in a surprising killer of a performance) exists for nothing but making Precious feel ugly and stupid. Director Lee Daniels finds a tricky balance between harsh realism and the fantasies into which Precious escapes. He’s not quite as successful integrating a fairly standard-issue “inspirational teacher” storyline into Precious’ survival tale. It’s solid, but far from spectacular filmmaking – irrespective of its value as “uplifting.” (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Sex, Guys and Videotape

Everyone who looked at the program guide description for Humpday had the same reaction: “It’s Zack and Zack Make a Porno!”

You could understand the quick take, since the plot summary described how two decidedly straight best friends – happily married Ben (mumblecore director Mark Duplass) and bohemian would-be artist Andrew (The Blair Witch Project's Joshua Leonard) – decide to enter an amateur porn contest by making a movie of them having sex … with each other! But the real touchstones are quite different from Kevin Smith’s recent comedy. Think sex, lies and videotape (a long-absent friend arrives to stir up a couple’s ideas of their sexual relationship) crossed with Kelly Reichardt’s Old Joy (a long-absent friend arrives to get his domesticated pal thinking outside the domestic box).

And think very, very funny. Writer/director Lynn Shelton captures plenty of squirmingly perfect moments, taking generally-not-funny “gay panic” scenarios and employing them in the service of something fresh and witty about the ridiculous things we can do in order to prove something to ourselves. There’s already an early contender for the festival’s must-see winner – and for a change, it’s not just because it’s “edgy.” (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Space Oddities

[Film Fest] It happens every year, but it doesn't usually happen this early: An unusual plot element that is shared by more than one Sundance movie.

Perhaps it shouldn't be quite so surprising; if you gather 100-some-odd features, you’re going to run into some infinite number of monkeys/infinite number of typewriters-type law-of-averages stuff. But the precise nature of such confluences continues to catch me off guard.

Here’s the problem with the particular case of Moon and The Clone Returns Home: I can’t talk about the plot element in question without MASSIVE SPOILER ALERTS. So if you want to remain clear of mind regarding either a Sam Rockwell-starring science-fiction drama or a Japanese metaphysical science-fiction drama, please exit now.

Sad observation: I’m guessing the latter warning didn’t scare too many people away. But there’s some compelling stuff in Kanji Nakajima’s The Clone Returns Home, which deals with an astronaut named Kohei Takahara (Mitsuhiro Oikawa) who volunteers to be cloned in the unlikely event that he should experience a tragic accident in space. And sure enough, the tragic accident occurs. What follows is primarily philosophical, as the nature of the soul is addressed through various visually moody scenes that don’t seem to make much logical sense. The real gripping stuff happens before that, as Takahara’s widow—in a single, wrenching sustained take—wrestles with whether to bring back a simulation of her dead husband, or allow him to rest in peace.

So where’s the funky overlap with Moon? Seriously, spoiler-haters, leave now. Well, we know from the outset that Sam Bell (Rockwell) is on the dark side of the moon in the near future, working for a company mining helium for earth’s clean energy. He’s nearing the end of his three-year commitment, and ready to return home to his wife and daughter—but son of a gun if an unlikely tragic accident doesn’t occur. And son of a gun if the solution that the energy company had planned isn’t the same as the one in The Clone Returns Home. While similar questions of identity ensue, Moon seems content to skim the surface of its issues in favor of building an ominous mood. But it was eerie … almost as if someone had cloned the same movie … (Scott Renshaw)

Utes on Parade

Today, on State Street, Moses wasn't needed to part the Red Sea--just a few cops on Harleys, followed by a precision marching band, a few shiny cars and our very own Number Ones (Jerre Wroble).

Inaugural Serves Utah Kid's Wine

[Inaugural Luncheon]  The 2009 Inaugural Luncheon, which follows the swearing-in of President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden, will feature wines from Duckhorn Vineyards in Napa Valley and Duckhorn's Goldeneye winery in Anderson Valley, which is dedicated to the production of world-class Pinot Noir. So what? 

Well, John Rasmuson is a regular City Weekly contributor and his son, Zachary, is Duckhorn/Goldeneye's Pinot Noir winemaker. Zach began his winemaking career at Stags' Leap before moving on to the position of assistant winemaker for Robert Sinskey Vineyards. About making Pinot Noir for Goldeneye, Rasmuson says, "Pinot Noir is an amazing, malleable grape. You need to be gentle shaping the wine. It's a process of minimal intervention, of finesse not muscle." 

What a great way to kick off the Obama presidency! 

(Ted Scheffler) 

Sundance 2009: Radio Silence

[Film Fest] The first casualty of economic catastrophe is the wireless networks. Or something.

OK, it’s not the most obvious sign that things are at least a little bit different at Sundance this year. In the café at the Marriott Hotel festival headquarters, complimentary Pepsi products have been replaced by complimentary Shasta products. And in general, there’s definitely a mellower vibe to this first Friday, with both the headquarters and the Yarrow Hotel – one of the primary press screening venues – much less chaotic than in years past. As Karina Longworth has noted on her blog, it probably shouldn’t be surprising to see a much-diminished press contingent. On the one hand, such relative sanity will make certain logistics much easier. On the hand, it dampens the energy that sometimes helps a guy make it through nine marathon days.

Meanwhile, it has already proven to be a pain in the ass trying to get a wireless connection that won’t drop. And the fact that *this* may be my biggest complaint on Day One indicates that, yet again, things that were once technological miracles have turned into “necessities” that cause overprivileged journalists to whine over their absence. (Scott Renshaw)

Sundance 2009: Mary & Max

[Film Fest] It didn't use to be like this. The Sundance Film Festival opening night selection used to reliably range from forgettable to bad (with a few outliers, of course). But times change. A year after In Bruges opened the festival, Sundance premiered another gem in Mary & Max.

The film marks the feature debut of stop-motion animation director Adam Elliot, who made the 2003 Oscar-winning short Harvie Krumpet. Mary & Max studies an unlikely friendship between two people who have never met. Mary, a lonely school girl in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia, randomly picks a name out of a U.S. phone book, and starts a correspondence with an anxious 44-year-old man from New York City. Max isn't skilled socially, and certainly isn't an expert on talking to kids. Discussing his past jobs, he mentions that he used to work at a condom factory, then throws in the fact that he has never used a condom. Meanwhile, Mary innocently brings up topics that challenge her beleaguered pen pal's mental stability. And yet the two have an unmistakable bond.

The characters emerge from the excellent voice acting by Toni Collette and Bethany Whitmore as Mary (as an adult and child, respectively) and Philip Seymour Hoffman, whose voice is unrecognizable as Max. While computer animation has brought us many great films and wondrous visuals, there is still something to be said for the hands-on charm of stop-motion. The tangible sets, the fingerprints, the creative portrayal of non-solids like water, bubbles and fire—they all contribute to the film's whimsical magic. Elliot proves himself a virtuoso in artful shots and expressive character animation, and brings to life the dry, morbid wit of his screenplay with the prowess of a seasoned filmmaker. (Jeremy Mathews)

Sundance 2009: Bottle Shock

[Film Fest] If my email inbox is any indication, the 2009 Sundance Film Festival has not experienced any drop in the number of would-be corporate hangers-on. Most of the press releases are breathless notifications of a brand's proximity to celebrity, somewhat along the lines of, "Come get a pedicure in a location remarkably near where Paris Hilton's nipples might be at some point during the week!"

But this one caught my attention. Water filter producer Brita and reusable water bottle maker Nalgene have teamed up in an attempt to reduce the disposable bottles of water (approximately 50,000 last year) typically generated by desperately hydrating festival attendees. Nalgene will provide free bottles -- BPA-free, they assure us, after last year's recall -- that can be filled at numerous Brita Hydration Stations around Park City. Thirst quenched, landfills slightly less overtaxed. A nice green step for Sundance. (Scott Renshaw)

You, Too, Can Lobby for Gay Rights

[Utah Legislature 2009]Equality Utah, eager to see the 2009 Utah Legislature adopt its "Common Ground Initiative" of six gay rights bills, will sponsor an evening of citizen lobbyist training Thursday.

The free workshop runs from 6 to 8 p.m. in Room 445 of the State Capitol. Anyone interested in lobbying for human rights issues in Utah is enthusiastically encouraged to attend, says Keri Jones, program manager with Equality Utah.

State Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake City, and Rep. Jackie Biskupski, D-Salt Lake City, will be on hand to advise the best ways to approach lawmakers and to discuss the Common Ground Initiative--which includes proposals for fair housing, workplace and inheritance rights for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people. Equality Utah will also be running a gay adoption bill again.

Salt Lake City Democratic Reps. Jennifer Seelig, Christine Johnson and Rebecca Chavez-Houck will also discuss the Common Ground bills they are sponsoring.

I asked Equality Utah's Jones why Utahns sympathetic to gay causes should even attend, given the openly hostile environment toward GLBT folks from so many neanderthals on the Hill. And why should they care, given the fact that Utahns did their own big part to fund the passage of Proposition 8 in California.

"Largely because of the marriage debate [in Hawaii and later California], Americans are now faced with questions of what protections should be available to loving [same-sex] couples. Utah hasn't answered that question and it's time for us to do so," Jones says.

Some of the bills in question will require widespread legislative support and "may not pass this year," says a hopeful Jones. "But we remain optimistic and ready to work hard."

Whether you're gay or straight, you may want to give these folks a hand. Strength in numbers and all of that. They'll save a chair for you Thursday night at the Capitol. (Holly Mullen)

R.I.P., Mr. Roarke.

[Death] Ricardo Montalbán, star of screens both big and small, is dead. He joins Hervé Villechaize in a tropical Heaven, populated by bikini babes, midlevel TV celebs and B-movie actors--where all the furniture is upholstered in rich, Corinthian leather.

Montalbán was 88.



(Brandon Burt)

Can Chefs Dance?

[Sundance Culinary Institute] In tandem with the Sundance Film Festival, Harry O's in Park City will play host to Chefdance 2009. Founded by Kenny Griswold, Chefdance is "a 5-day culinary event where world-famous chefs prepare their signature dishes for 250 invited guests, including celebrities, socialites, entertainment industry executives, musicians and media."

The Chefdance dinners are hosted by celebrity natural food chef Bethenny Frankel, author of Naturally Thin. This year's Chefdance line-up includes Richard Sandoval (Mexx-Chicago), Gene Kato (Japonais-Chicago & NYC), Kerry Simon (Simon Restaurant & Lounge-Las Vegas), Adam Vickers (Tuscany-SLC), and Zane Holmquist (Stein Eriksen Lodge-Park City).

Celebs scheduled to attend include Patton Oswalt, Kanye West, Jack White, Ashley Judd, Woody Harrelson, Peter Gallagher, Amy Irving, and more. Not on the invitee list? Neither am I.

(Ted Scheffler)

What a Big Boob

[Nip and Tuck] An Eden (Weber County) woman who underwent breast augmentation and a tummy tuck, with full knowledge that Fox-13 News was producing a story about her procedure, is now crying foul. She says the TV station showed too much skin in its report and invaded her privacy, according to KSL radio.

Conni Judge is suing her plastic surgeon, Dr. Renato Saltz* of Park City, and Fox-13, claiming they went way too far. Saltz, by providing her "before" and "after" nude photos, and Fox by running the pictures with its story last year. Judge says she never gave her permission to disseminate the photos--only her consent to be interviewed about her experiences undergoing a "mommy makeover."

"Mommy makeover" translation: Popular plastic surgery procedure among thousands of Utah women who get married at 20, then churn out a brood of younguns' by age 30. Sagging breasts and drooping ass ensue. Their husbands start pressuring them for the body they had at age 18. Plastic surgery ensues.

**I interviewed Saltz in 2002 for a Salt Lake Tribune column about the hordes of 30-something Utah women who feel the need to rebuild themselves via saline and surgical defiance of gravity. He was a great interview, but also a serious publicity hound. It's not terribly surprising he played along with Fox-13, nor that he could have--allegedly--passed Judge's photos to the news crew. Guess the case will turn on whether the plaintiff gave her permission.

In a statement, Fox-13 General Manager Tim Ermish tells KSL the station acted "professionally" and "appropriately" and disputes Judge's allegations.

Finally, Judge, who works in corporate communications, says the airing of the story resulted in a loss of up to 75 percent of her clients. Which begs the question: Just how good was that boob job, anyway? (Holly Mullen)

Dead Zephyr: Week 270

(Bill Frost)

Port O' Call: Out by March 15

[Dead Space] Soon to join the SugarHole and the Dead Zephyr in limbo is downtown nightclub Port O' Call, which was ordered by a judge Monday to close by March 15--adding insult to Port's 90 employees, right before St. Patrick's Day, one of the busiest nights of the year.

Port O' Call will be torn down to make way for the federal courthouse expansion. Assuming workers won't have their hands full cleaning up the remains of Oddfellows Hall to the north, which may or may not fall apart before it's moved across Market Street, the courthouse will be completed before Sen. Orrin Hatch begins his 78th term in office. (Bill Frost)

Stuff Journalists Like

[The Interwebs] You may remember the splash made last year by the hilarious "Stuff White People Like" Website, which pokes fun at pretentious middle-class whites in an endearingly racist, class-conscious way. (In case you were wondering, it's currently up to #120: Taking a Year Off.)

Keep your Pea Coat (#111) on, however--now there's "Stuff Journalists Like," a blog about, well, stuff that journalists like. (FYI, Drinking is #10).

From Press Releases (#30):

As much as press releases can save a journalist time and effort, they also can draw the ire of journalists. Sometimes a journalist receives a 10-page press release about a new line of soap from some local boutique. Or a press release that does not include any form of contact information. Journalists do not like these type of press releases and will complain about them to anyone in the newsroom who listens for the next week or two.

So true, so true.

(Brandon Burt)

Still On the Bus

[Locals on Reality TV] Is this good news or bad news? Salt Lake City's Kelsey Lee is still in the running to hook-up with a puffy '80s rock star 20 years her senior on basic cable TV! Hey, at least he's not an FLDS prophet, right?

The Huka Bar waitress has had little screen time as of yet on VH1's Rock of Love Bus, but did make the coming repulsions, er, attractions reel for next Sunday's episode, wherein the Bus heads to Champagne, Illinois: "I don't know where Champagne is, but I'll drink the bottle! Woo!"

Will Kelsey stay on the Bus, doing Utah proud and eventually just doing Bret Michaels? Stay tuned! Or not ... (Bill Frost)

When Did America Lose Its Ambition?

[Vintage TV Geeking] There was a time when ABC was so ambitious that it produced its own 90-minute movies. Now, I kinda like Ugly Betty--its writers are making a valiant attempt to court the gay viewership despite the fact that they are too busy snorting blow or whatever to bother educating themselves about the genuine camp aesthetic. (Note to writers: All this queeny wrist fluttering can't, by itself, cut it. To acheive true campiness, there must also be a bizarre juxtaposition and a nerdy reference, cleverly phrased. Your cool friends at Sushi a Go-Go won't get it.) Still, I really enjoy watching America Ferrera; she's sweet and earnest enough to carry any dog of a script.

But, man! Back in the day, ABC could produce an entire feature film starring Brian Keith, William Windom and Juliette Prouse--carrying a socially responsible Marxist message!



Don't forget: There were many ABC Movie[s] of the Week that had real cultural impact. Brian's Song made a nation cry, while Trilogy of Terror was so freaking scary it emotionally damaged a generation of kids who, to this day, love Karen Black but can't stay in the same room with an African fetish carving. The series won a Peabody and five Emmys.

In those pre-Reaganomics days, America was on its way What the hell happened? Has it taken us 40 years even to begin recovering?

OK, to tell the truth, I posted this not for its political implications, but mainly because I'm enamored of the aesthetics of the ABC Movie of the Week bumper. Not only was the music by Burt Bacharach, it was produced without CG, using an optical "slit-scan" technique--which viewers might recognize from the psychedelic penultimate scene in Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey. The lettering is set in the ultrachic Peignot typeface, which we warmly remember vertically replicating itself in rainbow colors at the beginning of the opening credits of the Mary Tyler Moore show. (Damn, that font did some fun tricks in the 1970s!)



Of course, the ABC Movie of the Week was later replaced by the ABC [Monday, Tuesday, ..., Sunday] Night Movie which--even though it signaled the end of socially valuable nighttime broadcasting, had a beautiful, disco-riffic bumper. It makes me happy every time I watch it:



(Brandon Burt)

Mmm, so tasty.

Don't worry ... they're "organic." It says so right on the aerosol can!

(Brandon Burt)

Unsubscribed by Proxy

[Who Has Time for This?] Someone has taken issue with my previous blog and reference to Jim Matheson's newsletter. So much so, they've seen fit to unsubscribe me.

Here's an e-mail that landed in my spam box today:

From: jim.matheson@congressnewsletter.net
Date: Friday, January 9, 2009 3:22 PM
To: jerre@slweekly.com
Subject: [SPAM] Change in subscription status

Your request has been successfully processed.

You have been successfully unsubscribed.

If you have been unsubscribed by mistake, please click here .... (Jerre Wroble)

Friday Letters Round-Up (Special Morbo Edition)

• Hey, I just thought of a joke: If global warming is such a problem, why is it snowing outside? Take that, Al Gore lovers!

• You puny Earthlings are too weak to affect the climate! Also, Morbo just thought of a joke involving global warming, snow and Al Gore.

• Bigotry is OK as long as you send a few bucks to some Ethiopian kid.

• Morbo finds your* dislike of George W. Bush to be ... disturbing. (*Along with that of 98 percent of the other puny Earthlings.)

• Morbo finds these young Earthlings' unbridled optimism to be ... disturbing.

(Brandon Burt)

Clueless Jim

[Bailout bluster] Since City Weekly is on Rep. Jim Matheson's "Do Not Call" list, I decided to consult his newsletter to see what our Democratic congressman for the 2nd District thinks about our economy. Here is what he says:

The Treasury Secretary may soon request the second $350 billion of the original $700 billion financial bailout fund Congress created last year. Following President Bush's decision to use $17.4 billion from that fund to prop up General Motors and Chrysler, the first half has now been spent. Once it's requested, Congress will have 15 days to vote on a resolution of disapproval. it would take a two-thirds majority of each chamber to deny the administration the money.

I voted against the original financial bailout. I take no joy in knowing that my concern about whether it would address the underlying problems--plummeting home values and frozen credit markets--has been realized. Most of the $350 billion in taxpayer money was used for capital infusions to banks. But this did not have an impact on creating more liquidity in the credit markets. Small businesses still face obstacles to obtaining credit and home values nationally fell 13 percent in November.

Our economy has been in a recession for a year. Unemployment is approaching 7 percent nationally. Utah's strong economy isn't immune: Washington County, for example, saw its unemployment rate jump to 5.3 percent--an increase of 2.2 percentage points from the year earlier. Last year was a historically bad year for the stock market. I think it's time to focus on solutions, including transforming the bailout of the banks into stabilizing housing prices and halting the growing foreclosure rate.

There, he said it: "solutions"! But aren't they really just "wishes," as in, I wish the housing prices would stabilize, and I wish there would be fewer foreclosures. How does that happen without the banks, Jim?

It's easy to vote against a bailout—which you did and are considering doing again—but what do you propose in its place? Seriously, Congressman, what are your solutions?

The newsletter goes on to ask readers to fill out a survey:

Do you think that the $350 billion already spent by the Treasury Department has had a positive impact on our economy?

Would you support the release of the second half of the $700 billion in taxpayer funds if Congress directed that some of it be used to help homeowners, rather than banks?

Has it really come to this? With all the expert financial thinkers and resources at your disposal, you want your constituents (at least the ones who signed up for your newsletter), in a two-question survey, to tell you how to solve a worldwide economic meltdown? Personally, I think consulting the Magic 8-Ball would be a better move. (Jerre Wroble)

KRCL's Artist of the Week: Nick Drake

[Music] I noticed KRCL 90.9 has been playing a lot of Nick Drake recently--this afternoon Ebay Hamilton spun "One of These Things First," a lovely tune. It's been good to hear the beautiful finger-picking goodness of this morose, tragic English folkie. (Drake OD'ed on antidepressants in the 1970s, and his music did not become widely appreciated until sometime in the '80s.)

So I checked the playlists to make sure this wasn't just a trick of the imagination. Apparently, I wasn't dreaming: Drake is KRCL's "artist of the week." Until now, I didn't even know KRCL had an artist of the week, and I'm curious to know how this artist is selected.

But good on 'em for this week's fine selection.

(Brandon Burt)

Rubio's Weekly

[Free Grub] According to the folks at Rubio's Fresh Mexican Grill, they'll be giving away a free meal every week for a year to the first 50 guests at the new Murray location, which opens tomorrow. 

Here's the deal: If you're one of the first 50 guests at Rubio's Grand Opening on Friday, Jan. 9, you'll get a certificate for one free meal per week for a year. According to Rubio's, the first 50 guests usually spend the night with tents and heaters in front of the restaurant. So get there early. 

Location: Rubio's in Murray at 5283 State Street. Door open on Jan. 9th at 10:30 AM. 

(Ted Scheffler) 

Coronary Cafe

[Quadruple Bypass Burger] In this week's City Weekly dining column, I rounded up a trio of new local  burger joints. But these places can't hold a candle -- in terms of artery-hardening potential -- to Arizona's Heart Attack Grill. Check out the video. 

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4632991n

(Ted Scheffler) 

Chaffetz vs. Colbert

[Politics/Yuks] Utah's own Jason Chaffetz appeared on last night's Colbert Report; this ensued. Please to enjoy ...

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a District - Utah's 3rd - Jason Chaffetz

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

(Bill Frost)

Dead Zephyr: Week 269

(Bill Frost)

BCS-Gate? You Freakin' Kidding Me?

[BCS] The D-News brings us this story of how our beloved AG Mark Shurtleff is really starting to roll his sleeves up and get to work investigating the Bowl Championship Series for antitrust violations. Shurtleff thinks a criminal conspiracy may be in the works and is planning a powow with some attorneys and ivnestigators next week to consider options.

OK, I'm gonna take a deep breath here before my head explodes and concede the obvious: the BCS setup is a sham and it disadvantages great teams like our own fair Utes.

Now, does this mean this deserves an investigation? The marshaling of taxpayer dollars and AG resources? For those of you militant sports fans who are vigorously shaking your heads right now, let me say this: does it deserve attention if it means siphoning resources from any other investigation?

Face it folks, organizational resources are zero-sum. We only got so much to work with and if any one should know that, it's our very own AG who is now mulling over an investigation into a sporting organization. Like we don't have enough Ponzi-scheme con artists, child pornographers, pedophiles and tax dodgers in this state already to contend with we're now looking at shifting resources into an antitrust case against the BCS?

Well here's to hoping its just some sabre-rattling goin' on. Maybe this is what happens when Attorney Generals get into a sports argument. (Eric S. Peterson)

It's not the seismic activity, but what you do with it that counts ...

[Scary-Looking Data] Since I'm no seismologist, I don't know what to make of this chart from the U of U Earthquake Information Center--but the fact that it's been going crazy since about 11 a.m. looks really scary.

(Brandon Burt)

Pleasant Fishing-trip Memories

[Advertising] Ah, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard those magic words ... "Wait till you see my Wunder Boner!



(Brandon Burt)

The Return of Friday Letters Round-up

• Take that, you liberal Hollywood pronouns!

• Even less well-known than Lincoln's super-secret party affiliation was his devotion to trickle-down economic policies.

• Now that Facebook protects me against evil breasts, perhaps it can figure out how to protect me from "You've Just Been Touched by a Zombie" requests.

• Granny Walton did just fine without sporting fancy piercings and tattoos.

• ... in other words, I think Barack Obama will be just like George W. Bush.

• I'm hammocking my way to a sound economy!

• Also, we had no shoes for the uphill walk both to and from school.
  

(Brandon Burt)