Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Clean Dirty Store


[Mo' Culture] When I first saw the billboard advertising the adult novelty shop with LDS standards called 'Husband and Wife' I had a small spasm/chuckle of disbelief. Even the billboard was a testament to LDS cuteness with the letter font that is the kind you usually see for scrapbook supply stores. Amazing!

Like an evolution of the Mormon Clean Flicks phenomena, somehow, some businessperson in the UC decided they were going to bring all the accoutrement of doing the nasty up to FYI standards. Incredible!

And when I sat down to blog about this uniquely Utah anomaly the neurons in the pun/snide comments side of my brain were exploding like the fourth of July (Pioneer Day Sales!! See-through garments!! Erotic Bunko!! The latest from the adult Orson Scott Card collection, Back-Enders Game).

Then deciding to do a little Pre-blog research I checked the business website and was, frankly... impressed. If there was ever a way to make a dirty store clean they've done it. To the disappointment of my inner cynic the lingerie was not the "Little House on the Prairie" style one might imagine, not exactly Victoria Secret but there's a fine selection of very attractive corsets, bras and various other unmentionables. Likewise the store offers dirty dice, lubricant, Karma Sutra massage-oil kits and just about anything else a young LDS couple could ask for. And here's the kicker: Joe and Jane Q Mormon (or Nate and Brittny Q Mormon) wouldn't ever need to worry about accidentally wandering into the dildo and pocket-vagina aisle--because there isn't one.

And I realized that Utah and the UC especially, have been in dire need of a place like this. Maybe it'll help siphon off some of that sexual tension in our fair state. Yes, much like the whole Cougar Videos and Clean Flicks chains, I detest the idea of censorship but if it's the only way some of my dear LDS friends and family can see great cinema, well then, by all means indulge. Likewise, if this store is the only way some nice LDS kids can have some enjoyable sexy time, well then this store is for you--and you won't even have to tell the bishop about it! (Eric S. Peterson)

6 comments:

  1. read the satanic bible, god is fiction!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So was Anton LaVey. So are you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also, you can't actually throw this one under censorship. They aren't taking a product and changing it in order to be more suitable for public consumption. :)

    oh, and to anonymous... So is your mom.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Princess Penelope PrunecakeJanuary 30, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Oh come on! What about Dirty Jo Punsters in Spanish Fork?! Reliably packing the bishop's and the apostate's purchases alike in brown paper wrapping for years.

    Of course, I assume they DO have a dildo aisle, so maybe most of the faithful never, ahem, came again.

    ReplyDelete
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