Survivor: V-Necks Ahoy

[Locals on Reality TV] Survivor: Toncantins premiered on CBS last night, and guess what? The Utah guy isn't the most annoying contestant! (That would be "Coach.") Lindon's Tyson Apostol does, however, have a penchant for V-neck shirts which is either 1. a clever ruse to hide his true he-man abilities, or 2. just plain disturbing. Meet Tyson:





(Bill Frost)

The Real World: It's Still On

[Locals on Reality TV] Due to the presence of Utahn Chet (who last week found out he couldn't be the next host of TRL, 'cause it was canceled--thanks for that heads-up, MTV), we've tried to keep up on The Real World: Brooklyn ... but gawd is it dull. The Real World After Show is usually more entertaining, thanks to the rapt attention to detail the faux-hawked douchebag of a host and his random panels pay to said dull show. Here, Chet goes into the minutae of whatever the hell happened recently; see how long you can watch ...

Real World: Brooklyn - MTV Shows

(Bill Frost)

The Real World: B-I-T-C-H

[Locals on Reality TV] The Real World: Brooklyn trudges forward on MTV, a shell of its former reality-house self--has the rush of watching adults (albeit faux-hawked adults) act like spoiled grade-schoolers in luxurious lofts finally worn off? I fear for our country.

Anyway, as usual, Utah Mormon Chet provides some of the most embed-worthy clips from The Real World Dailies, leftovers so mundane they didn't even make it into the mundane Real World proper last night. Here, Chet further regales us with his knowledge of women, explaining that housemate Katelynn isn't really on her period, she's just a "B-I-T-C-H." Yes, he spelled it out. You can take the boy out of Utah ...



(Bill Frost)

Rock of Love Bus: Party Time!

[Locals on Reality TV] Salt Laker Kelsey survived another cut on Bret Michaels' Rock of Love Bus this weekend, even though she was on the losing team in a stage tear-down challenge (no, VH1 isn't even trying to come up with new material anymore). Kel got a special cell call from Bret himself to come rock VIP style onstage and at the after party, while her fellow losers were stuck up in the cheap seats (which are still pretty good, since the Bret Michaels Band ain't exactly playing stadiums).

Here's Kelsey explaining that AARP member Bret had to skip the after party because he was too pooped after rocking onstage for a whole hour. Naturally, drama ensues ...

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(Bill Frost)

Real World Brooklyn: Chet's Got Game

[Locals on Reality TV] What's happening on The Real World: Brooklyn? It's so damned boring, it's not even worth recapping--sad news for the originator of all "reality houses." But at least MTV.com's Real World Dailies are somewhat entertaining: Here's Salt Lake City's own be-faux-hawked Chet telling us that he'll talk to any girl, even if she's not pretty (dude!), and professing his undying like for Alex (whom I believe is a girl ... right?).


(Bill Frost)

Rock of Love Bus: Kelsey's Still Rollin'

[Locals on Reality TV] Salt Lake's Kelsey has survived another cut on VH1's Rock of Love Bus, wherein "ladies" vie for the "love" of "rock star" Bret Michaels and his "hair." As we learned in last night's episode, Kelsey has mad skills on the ice, if not with math:

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That's Kelsey going in for the first hug, up front, gum a-crackin,' then later commenting on "the devil" Lacie. (Bill Frost)

Still On the Bus

[Locals on Reality TV] Is this good news or bad news? Salt Lake City's Kelsey Lee is still in the running to hook-up with a puffy '80s rock star 20 years her senior on basic cable TV! Hey, at least he's not an FLDS prophet, right?

The Huka Bar waitress has had little screen time as of yet on VH1's Rock of Love Bus, but did make the coming repulsions, er, attractions reel for next Sunday's episode, wherein the Bus heads to Champagne, Illinois: "I don't know where Champagne is, but I'll drink the bottle! Woo!"

Will Kelsey stay on the Bus, doing Utah proud and eventually just doing Bret Michaels? Stay tuned! Or not ... (Bill Frost)

Chaffetz vs. Colbert

[Politics/Yuks] Utah's own Jason Chaffetz appeared on last night's Colbert Report; this ensued. Please to enjoy ...

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a District - Utah's 3rd - Jason Chaffetz

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

(Bill Frost)

Cramping With the Stars

[Locals on Reality TV] Nooo! Utah's Dancing With the Stars hoofer Julianne Hough has tummy problems and ... Yeah, that's as much enthusiasm as I can muster. Take it away, Celeb TV:



(Bill Frost)

Archie! Acting! OMG!

[Locals on Unreality TV] Murray's own American Idol runner-up David Archuleta has filmed his first acting gig! For a February 2009 episode of Nickelodeon's iCarly! No, I've never heard of it, either! Squeal!

"You do need a good memory for the dialogue, and I'll have to work on that, but it would be fun to continue acting," Archie told Us--not us; it's like a real magazine. "With iCarly, I also got to hang out with kids my own age for a change, and that was a real bonus."

Instead of those creaky 20-somethings on the American Idol tour? Or the creepy old producers who "crafted" this gawdawful paean to teen like/lust? You're better off on Nick, DA. Seriously. We're lookin' out for you here.


(Bill Frost)

Real World Gaydar

[Locals on Reality TV] MTV's 235th season of The Real World is being filmed in Brooklyn, NY, and counts a Utahn among the cast! And yes, he's apparently a Mormon. Ever-reliable gossip website Gawker.com, however, has serious questions:

"His name is Chet and he is Mormon and, though he's engaged to a young lady back home in Salt Lake City (a city name that celebrates a barren nothingness of a lake whose only inhabitants are brine shrimp and brine flies), the producers want him to get laid. Because he's a virgin! Could you be the lucky girl (or guy)???

"Again, his name is Chet. He's a Mormon with 'spiky blonde hair.' On the evening that the NY Press caught up with him, he was wearing an H&M scarf and 'Elvis Costello glasses,' and was drinking a Shirley Temple. He apparently loves glam rock and was 'gushing' when some slinky male rocker put something around his neck and whispered in his ear. And, yes, he is engaged (as all Mormons are, from birth. That's just science). But, um, doesn't that above description sound a little well, um, un-fishy, if you catch my brine shrimp drift? So who's going to fuck this kid? Will youuuuu? The above photo, from NewYorkology, seems to offer the best known glimpse of the mysterious Mormon."

Oh, dear ... (Bill Frost)

Dill or No Dill

[Locals on Reality TV] One week from tonight, Last Comic Standing runner-up Marcus will film a big-deal comedy concert special in Ogden; he struck the deal after his LCS exposure due to the fact that he was actually funnier and more talented than the "winner" America "voted for." My local media blackout conspiracy still stands, because ...

Last night, Sandy housewife Jessica Robinson won on NBC's Deal or No Deal, a show that requires no talent beyond pointing at a suitcase and putting up with Howie Mandel. Sure, she's the series' first million-dollar winner--but she'll also being using the money to move the hell out of Utah ASAP. For this, she gets the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune and instantaneous KSL 5 coverage.

Meanwhile, Marcus, who never got either, still claims Zion as home and insisted on filming his concert special here. Just sayin.'

Jessica's Dill or No Dill moment:



(Bill Frost)

Kittens & Keith

[Locals on Reality TV] SLC's Slippery Kittens are still on America's Got Talent; Filthy Gorgeous' Keith Bryce has been voted off Project Runway. The judges on both reality-competition shows had little nice to say about either--"Are you Pamela Anderson's mom?" (That was directed to a Slippery Kitten, not Keith).

The respective vids:







(Bill Frost)

Obligatory Drag Queen Pun Here

[Locals on Reality TV] SLC's Keith Bryce was up last week; Wednesday night, he nearly got himself cut from Bravo's Project Runway by sorta-designing a goth pinata outfit for a drag queen. Fortunately, Heidi Klum & Co. kissed off the emotional rollercoaster known as Daniel. Super double-recap action:





(Bill Frost)

Keith In the Jungle

[Locals on Reality TV] SLC designer Keith Bryce not only survived another round of Bravo's Project Runway last night, but also won a challenge to dress Brooke Shields on an episode of NBC's Lipstick Jungle when the corporate-cousin series inexplicably returns this fall. The recap from Bravo:

(Bill Frost)

Comics & Kittens

[Locals on Reality TV] Update: SLC's Marcus came in second on Last Comic Standing, Slippery Kittens Burlesque advanced to the next round on America's Got Talent, and I still couldn't care less about So You Think You Can Dance?, a show I watched 10 seconds of last night and felt at least 10 percent dumber for it. We all know I can't afford that.

The Slippery Kittens perform next in Salt Lake at the Bar Deluxe on Saturday, Aug. 16; Marcus hits Wiseguys in Ogden (Saturday) and WVC (Sunday) this weekend. Don't expect to see him ever again on Fox 13, who last night had the post-show balls to run a "We knew him when" package of clips from his previous morning fill-ins after ignoring their "bud" for months. Guess corporate Fox synergy is more important than supporting one of your own on "another" network.

The bittersweet clip from last night's Comic:



(Bill Frost)

Marcus! Was! Robbed!

[Locals on Reality TV] He made it to the Final 2, but SLC's Marcus lost to Iliza Schlesinger on Last Comic Standing--who knew America was ready to vote in a woman?

Marcus is still our man, however--he'll be at Wiseguys in Ogden and West Valley City this weekend before going on the LCS tour. Go show him the love, and please don't mention David Archuleta.

Now, we'll see if the Slippery Kittens can stay on America's Got Talent ... (Bill Frost)

Project Dullway

[Locals on Reality TV] Blame it on the earlier timeslot, blame it on Project Runway overdose (like, six seasons will air this year) or blame it on the dullest outing yet for the Bravo once-hit--ratings are down, no matter how bitchy the contestants get.

SLC's Keith Bryce has kept a low profile on Project Runway thus far; so much so that, if he gets eliminated soon, viewers might ask, "Who's that guy? I haven't seen him in a sewing-room catfight." He survived this week to maybe make a future splash--behold the recap (don't blink or you'll miss him):



As for the local So You Think You Can Dance? contestants ... couldn't care less. However, tonight's the night for Marcus on NBC's Last Comic Standing--and you'll only read about it here! Ha! Marcus on last week's episode:



(Bill Frost)

Marcus Is the Man

[Locals on Reality TV] Salt Lake City comedian Marcus is not only still in the Last Comic Standing game, he's nailed down a Final 5 spot for the finale in Las Vegas--meaning, he can't be voted off before Aug. 7. But, even better, he got to go to the Playboy Mansion.

In last night's episode, the comics' challenge was to impress Hugh Hefner's girlfriends with a bedtime story (rough gig). Marcus pulled out the big guns: His celebrity voices. The girls decided that "Tattoos" (they couldn't recall his name) told the best tale and awarded him LCS immunity.

Here's the recap; the Last Comic finale airs Aug. 7 on NBC, and you still won't read a damn thing about this in the Deseret News:



(Bill Frost)

Carry On, Keith

[Locals on Reality TV] SLC's Keith Bryce survived another round of Bravo's Project Runway last night, despite designing a hideous "green" dress (as in, environmentally green) from materials selected by his model. So far, Bryce hasn't had much screen time, probably because he's just not as flamboyantly obnoxious as, say, Suede (yes, that's his name) or the 80-year-old rocker chick who only wants to work with leather (much like her face). Here's Bryce--he's the one in the blue bandana and black tank:



(Bill Frost)