Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Things That Can Happen When the Office Manager Goes on Vacation

[People Going Nuts] This guy's copy-machine-hammering technique needs a little work, but all in all, I'd give him an 8.4.

(Brandon Burt)


  1. Obviously, the pressures of the daily American grind have worked out for this poor sucker.

    There's just nothing like working a hollow, meaningless, useless job day after day, chained to a cubicle, a PC and a cell phone, making your company rich while your own bills and expenses surpass your salary, to make a man (or woman) contented with life.

    Notice that nobody left the room as this poor guy spun hopelessly out of control. Their very presence made it worse. The scum sucking parasites! They stood there, enthralled, enjoying this man's misery as it gave them momentary reprieve from their own.

    The following day and many thereafter, at the water cooler, instead of talking about their useless husbands and wives, their spoiled, ungrateful children, their mortages, STD's and silly deadlines, they talked about how poor George lost it, and about how Jerry and Steve were so brave when they tackled him, kneed him in the ribs and then laughed as he finally broke down, sobbing that he just wants to die.

    They'll tell each other how bad it makes them feel; how sad it all is. But they won't mean it, not really. On the inside, they're satisfied knowing that there's somebody out there that was more unhappy than they are.

  2. hayduke, you make a really good point, but the guy HIT A WOMAN IN THE HEAD WITH A COMPUTER MONITOR.

    i'm just saying, that although corporate america shoulders part of the blame, maybe the guy doesn't wholly deserve the "oh woe is he" bit.

  3. Anonymous, you are right. Corporate America does not deserve the blame because...this is not shot in America. As I understand it, the video is European or Russian. I'm no language expert, but I can't understand anything anyone says. Check out the second angle of this rampage (you can see someone filming on their cell in the original video posted on the site. It's in the upper left hand corner if I recall)

    So, hayduke, perhaps you should blame corporate Russia, or something.

  4. Hey, guys, I was just writing a little story to go along with the vid. I'd like to read another, if you've got one.

    I didn't hear the audio and didn't hear the Russian babble, or whatever.

    But, JeffJames, let me say this in response to your comments. There was no corporate example for others to follow before America developed it. For decades, various countries have knocked themselves silly trying to incorporate, copy and utilize the souless American business model. I imagine the inherent flaws within that model affect the average, international human being in much the same way. That is to say, unless you're on top of the shit pile (no happiness guarentee there, either), you're probably not exactly fullfilled by your corporate job.

    Whether it is made of steel bars or a furry cubicle, cell phone and laptop, mankind (womankind?) was not designed for a cage.

  5. Hayduke-

    I'm lookin for the story, I'll let you know if I find it.



  6. Jeff,

    I appreciate that, brutha, but I'd prefer if you just sort of wrote one your bad self.

    It'd be cool if you'd start with what led up to George's breakdown in the first place. Go back in time as far as you'd like but I'm thinking, on this fateful day, he came home to surprise his wife with a nice lunch and a rare quicky, but found his wife in bed with the next door neighbor, who happens to be an eighty-four year old, lesbian leper with half an eyebrow. Not only that, but his boss (the guy that he wonked on the head in the beginning) was in the process of asking George if he wouldn't mind giving up the his parking spot (one that he's waited eight long years for) so that his boss can give it to his personal secretary that happens to give excellent, uh, advice.

    I'm sure plenty more happened to justify that freak-out. I mean, this kind of thing just doesn't develop overnight.

    What say you, Jeff?

  7. I like your story, but you've got it all wrong. It all started with a red stapler...

  8. Red stapler........seems to bring back a vague memory....Office Space?

  9. I think this is a fake. Notice if you will that all of the monitors that are thrown are done so with ease and there are no cords attached to them.

    If I tried to grab and throw one of the flat LCD monitors sitting on my desk right now, I would not be able to do so, as it is attached to my computer and to the power outlet in the cubical wall.

    This guy is throwing old, heavy CRT monitors...not only are these also attached to the computer and power source, but they are much heavier due to the glass screens and tubes inside of them. This is surely a joke.


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