- Is Barack Obama a King Man or more of a Captain Moroni? Is John McCain a Gadianton robber? These and other issues of Mormon allegorical stichomancy are a vital part of political discourse in Weber County.
- Is Barack Obama a liberal, pro-choice, pro-gay socialist who is also a scary fundamentalist Muslim, or is he Grandma abuser? Hey, in Wingnutland, everything's possible!
- HAFB didn't do it! It was those damn Okies. And, even if it were us, would it kill you to say something nice once in awhile?
- There's no proof of global warming, just as there's no proof that oil companies are greedy and evil.
- Our country is losing its moral compass! Oh, wait, sorry. I forgot to look at the edge.