Now Where Am I Going to Shop for All Those Stocking-Stuffers?

[Retail] Guess I won't be checking off my Xmas list at Da Hood Smoke Shop, where yesterday a narcotics raid turned up a lot of crack and a little coke. (I wonder if it is ever wise for proprietors to name such establishments "Da Hood Smoke Shop"?)

So, everybody who's on my list: Instead of bongs and crackpipes, you're all getting Hummel figurines this year. (Fortunately, with a little steel tubing and silicone putty, Hummelware can easily be converted to bongware.)

(Brandon Burt)