Monday, September 15, 2008

Palin and Experience...Again

[Campaign 2008] A tip of the Salt Blog/Values Voter hat to Feministing.com, which posted yet another reason why we need to know more about Sarah Palin. As the mother of a child with Down syndrome, she vowed in her RNC acceptance speech to back funding for special needs education programs.

Yet she's a member of a political party whose stalwart right wing for more than three decades has tried to abolish the U.S. Department of Education. (Go here and here for more.)

Step away from your handlers and tell us what you really think, Gov. Palin. (Holly Mullen)

RIP David Foster Wallace

I can't decide whether I'm sad or pissed off by this turn of events. Probably a little bit of both. You brilliant/stupid bastard.
(Jamie Gadette)-

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Magical Hand of the Free Market at Work

[Data Infrastructure] In an interesting case up north, a telecommunications company is suing a Minnesota town for issuing a bond to install a fiberoptic network--after the telco refused to bid for the job.
Municipality: We want our town to enter the 21st century. Would you mind installing a fiberoptic network here?

Telco: Sorry. Our shareholders wouldn't like it.

Municipality: Pretty please? The townsfolk all want broadband, and we'll give you a shitload of tax breaks.

Telco:
No, you see ... it's all about market forces, supply/demand, insufficient corporate resources--things you government hacks wouldn't understand.

Municipality: Well, our studies show that it would make the town more competitive by attracting high-tech industry and a well-educated workforce.

Telco:
Sorry ... computer says "no."

Municipality: Okey-dokey, then. Guess we'll have to build it ourselves.

Telco:
Say hello to our lawyers.

Municipality: Uff da!
Lest you think this is just another example of corporate greed going against the public interest, keep in mind that the telco is only doing this for the town's own good. (Note that it was only after the bond issue was approved that the telco suddenly discovered that the wayward winds of the market had begun blowing in favor of fiberoptics.)

Now, if there's one thing the '00s have taught us, it's that neocons have an implacable fetish for privatizing governmental functions, including corrections, education and even defense in an age when private security firms like Blackwater seem to get better public funding than our boys and girls in the military.

Supposedly, this is because the private sector is able to deliver services more efficiently and economically than the public sector. This theory has turned out not to be true, but at least the privatization model provides for those desirable multimillion-dollar CEO salaries and shareholder profits that the public-sector model thoughtlessly forgot to include.

All this corporate efficiency and effectiveness was thought to stem from free-market forces. Unfortunately, private corporations like competition even less than the public sector does. So, once they get their fat government contracts, they become deaf to taxpayer demands. (Try this: As an upstanding, concerned taxpayer, try attending a board meeting for a publically funded private corporation. Enjoy getting thrown out on your ear.)

The Minnesota case seems to be the wave of the future: pre-emptive privatization. Now the privateers have stopped even pretending that they are capable of solving problems better than the public sector. They just want to use the courts to ensure that those problems stick around long enough that, in case they ever get around to solving them, some plucky town won't have beaten them to it.

We can only hope that, if successful in fending off the lawsuit, the Minnesota town will learn from past mistakes--as well as past successes.

(Brandon Burt)

Band On The Run: Right Behind Ike


Norman Oklahoma: We just woke up after playing The Opolis with Matt Bauer and Sheree Chamberlain, dehydrated and on the humid floor of a mister Tate James. He responded to our over the mic request by Jay asking for a place to crash that night. We are always surprised and grateful by the amount of people that help us out on the road.

Campus TV: Joe is 72 yrs old. He's run this small shop in the college district of Norman since starting the shop back in 1960 (also the year that Roy Orbison's "Only the Lonely" came out)

Jer was dodging the sticky rain and slid into a shop filled with a key coping machine, an outdated dust-collected array of musical accessories, plus a white-haired Joe (the saggy grand-father type, who muttered in a slow, low southern accent), and Jack, his fat black cat sprawled across the floor like a wicker welcome mat.

The prices on cables, guitar strings and harmonicas have raised in the last few years but Joe didn't bother with changing the signs. Maraca's, shakers, tambourines, blocks, triangles and other but more random percussion instruments were hung from the ceiling while pulled apart mechanical machines were scattered on the ground. The walls were wallpapered with guitar cables, slides, stands, and guitar strings.

Our receipt read as follows.

lee oscar harmonica holder $19.95
tension rods (snare drum) $4.30
2 curly chords $7.95
4 gold Hohner harmonica necklaces each $2.53
Marine band F harp $25.95
Marine Band C harp $25.95
six keys copied (3 for van, 3 for trailer) $9.75

The keys were ground out by hand on a machine that looked like it was purchased the year the shop opened.
I think we gave Campus TV a good day. Although we never saw one TV at all.

(Band of Annuals. Stay tuned. We'll be blogging for the next seven weeks)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Esprit de Corpse

[Religion] It seems some weird goings-on in Vatican City may result in the exhumation and reburial of Cardinal John Henry Newman's corpse--because the soon-to-be-canonized British cardinal was buried, in accordance with his last wishes, with a priest who was probably his boyfriend.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I don't understand the arcane workings of the Roman Catholic Church. I admire its wonderful use of ritual symbolism: That thing with the black vs. white smoke while the College of Cardinals is selecting a new Pope? Awesome!

I also understand that there are a series of steps on the road to sainthood: veneration, beatification, canonization ... and I may have left something out. The Catholics don't just make a saint out of thin air. The candidate saint is thoroughly vetted, and there has to be substantiation of at least one miracle.

What I don't get is the Vatican's determination to obliterate all evidence that Newman really, really loved a dude, especially since the dude in question was a celibate Catholic priest, so there's no question of any hot, sweaty, man-on-man action. But it was Newman's dying wish to be buried with Fr. Ambrose St. John, the man with whom he shared a house for many years.

Maybe the Holy See has simply recognized an opportunity: Anglicans are on the verge of a schism over the ordination of gay clergy. The Pope could take advantage of the situation and energize British Catholics by canonizing an ex-Anglican Englishman--possibly even making a few homophobic converts in the deal. If only the ex-Anglican Englishman in question weren't so gay! Guess it's time to dig up the bodies.

As a commie-homo-pagan, I'm happy to note that the Catholics I've met have been almost all welcoming and agreeable--hell, in Salt Lake City, Catholics are practically a counterculture--so I don't figure that Ratzinger's exploits have much to do with the body of the American church.

Still--don't homophobic exhumations seem a little--well, heathen?

(Brandon Burt)

Who Digs Beets, Really?

[Bites] So, I was having lunch downtown at The New Yorker restaurant yesterday (don't forget the Downtown Dine O Round!) and enjoying a killer heirloom tomato salad when I spotted it: a beet. There it was, cleverly hidden between layers of sliced, multi-hued tomatoes. And since I was trained as a kid to try everything on my plate, I reluctantly dove into this pinkish beet only to pleasantly discover that it was a slice of pickled red onion. Relief! The truth is: no one likes beets. Why do you think they're called beets? Beets are beat. I know they're supposed to be cool and hip. But if you say you love beets, you’re lying. If you claim to like beets, you’re fibbing. No one does. Come clean. Beets suck. It's time fancy chefs got over the whole beet thing. I don't care if they’re red, yellow, pink, or turquoise. Give us pickled onions. (Ted Scheffler)

Snow Porn

[Snowboarding] It's only September and opening day for Utah's resorts seem, well, months away . For those of us snow addicts going through withdraw, snowboarding movies keep our sanity until the first snow falls. The U's snowboard club comes through with the Utah premier of Transworld Snowboarding's debut "These Days" and Variety Pack's "Guns Out". If the movies aren't enough entertainment, stay for the product toss as twenty people fight over a snowboard. (Joseph Bateman)

Around & Around

[Out to Lunch] Today is the first day of the Fall Dine-O-Round, and we followed City Weekly's dining critic Ted Scheffler's hot tip about the $10 lunch at Metropolitan, consisting of two courses: broccoli soup and a bison burger.

The broccoli soup was not the thick creamy kind you can stand a spoon up in from our youth. It was a refined thinner broth adorned with interesting particles besides just broccoli—shaved radishes, perhaps? Trรจs tasty and not too filling. And the juicy burger, with spicy cheese and a warm pepper on top, was truly inspired.

The only problem was that our bill came to $30 per person with the tip. How so? Well, we ordered two glasses of wine while we waited. Yes, for some reason—perhaps because today was also Metropolitan's maiden voyage into lunch service (they have other great lunch offerings besides the DOR special)—the place was hoppin' and there was a loooonnnnngggg pause between the soup and the burger. Wine seemed the perfect way to bridge the gap.

And afterwards, because we were groggy after our Metro meal, we had to buy coffee en route to the office. Another $5 there. So today's lunch wasn't quite the bargain we envisioned.

Advice for the budget-conscious: Avoid temptation; don't imbibe at lunch. I mean, does anyone have two-martini lunches anymore? I'd love to know. (Jerre Wroble)

Making His Mark

[Human behavior] It's a fun story about a guy in Nebraska who slathers Vaseline on his ass and then presses it against shop windows.

According to the story, "During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted."

Man, he's good.

(Brandon Burt)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Fair's Fair

[Food] If you're spending time at the Utah State Fair, it's practically mandatory to fork over $50 for a corn dog and a deep-fried PB&J.

This sign, however, (taken at the Maker Faire in Austin) is enough for me. Food illustration is as exacting as food photography--very difficult to get right--and there's just something ... vile and unwholesome about that picture.

I've never eaten a funnel cake, and I'm sure now that I never will.


(Brandon Burt)

UtahFM.org: Pinpoint SLC 2

[Media/Podcast] The second weekly installment of UtahFM.org's Pinpoint SLC debuts today--this time, hosted by City Weekly's Bill Frost (yeah, me) and Plan-B Theater's Jerry Rapier.

The latest five-minute podcast, which should also be heard on UtahFM's live stream, is divided between myself interviewing local rock-scene vets SuperSoFar (right) about their new EP release at Club Vegas tomorrow night, and Jerry talking to playwright Jeff Metcalf about his A Slight Discomfort, opening at the Salt Lake Acting Company.

Screw Burning Man


[India Fest 2008] Burning man pshaw! Try checking out a burning demon (in effigy of course) at this year's India Festival at the Spanish Fork, Krishna Temple. This is the 22nd annual festival of India the Utah Krishna's are putting on and will, as usual, be quite an event. On Saturday Sept. 13 from 4-9 pm you can count on great food, a sitar concert and numerous Indian dance performances all culminating in the evenings final burning of the 25 foot high, ten-headed demon named Ravana...and fireworks to boot! (Eric S. Peterson)

Make Some Noise

Last weekend, my friend conducted a decidedly informal poll outside the men's bathroom at a local bar. She asked her inebriated peers if they planned to vote and if so for whom. Most of them responded, "Why bother?"
Some well-known noise artists have the answer (at least for the Dems)

(Jamie Gadette)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Peeping Toms in Guess Where?

[Perv Watch] Dateline: Provo. Why doesn't this story surprise me? (Holly Mullen)

Real World Gaydar

[Locals on Reality TV] MTV's 235th season of The Real World is being filmed in Brooklyn, NY, and counts a Utahn among the cast! And yes, he's apparently a Mormon. Ever-reliable gossip website Gawker.com, however, has serious questions:

"His name is Chet and he is Mormon and, though he's engaged to a young lady back home in Salt Lake City (a city name that celebrates a barren nothingness of a lake whose only inhabitants are brine shrimp and brine flies), the producers want him to get laid. Because he's a virgin! Could you be the lucky girl (or guy)???

"Again, his name is Chet. He's a Mormon with 'spiky blonde hair.' On the evening that the NY Press caught up with him, he was wearing an H&M scarf and 'Elvis Costello glasses,' and was drinking a Shirley Temple. He apparently loves glam rock and was 'gushing' when some slinky male rocker put something around his neck and whispered in his ear. And, yes, he is engaged (as all Mormons are, from birth. That's just science). But, um, doesn't that above description sound a little well, um, un-fishy, if you catch my brine shrimp drift? So who's going to fuck this kid? Will youuuuu? The above photo, from NewYorkology, seems to offer the best known glimpse of the mysterious Mormon."

Oh, dear ... (Bill Frost)

An Un-Original Recipe ... for Publicity!

If you're a P.R. flack for KFC right about now, you've got to be thinking, "Damn, I'm good."

Why is this such a heady day for the Colonel's minions? Because somehow they managed to get the Associated Press -- and by extension, other news agencies by the score, including the Deseret News -- to slurp this story about moving a chicken recipe like it was the codes to our nuclear arsenal. And wouldn't you know, this crucial bit of news just happens to coincide with the introduction of a new KFC product that has now received millions of dollars worth of free publicity.

And now they've gotten me to repeat it as well. You magnificent bastards. (Scott Renshaw)

Breaking News: Dog Shit Terror!

[News-ish] So, are we glad to report that former KCPW 88.3 news director Lara Jones' first on-camera appearance as the Minister of Information for the Salt Lake Police Department was for a KUTV 2 story titled "Dog Poop Dispute Ends in Stabbing"? Uh, sure ...


(Bill Frost)

Afloat by Astrology Only

[Media] From The Onion, America's Finest News Source: How alt-weeklies stay in business ... or something:

(Bill Frost)

Web Exclusive: Artemesia Black Interview/Live


Negotiations With The Dead

Sabine’s voice starts out cold and remote, piercing like a steel pin going in. The Australian singer is dressed in black pin stripes with a red skull and crossbone printed onto her shirt, like a rotting apple, like a ruby drop of blood. Kenny, her guitarist, performs in matching pin stripes, honey-curled hair pulled back at the nape. He is playful and quick on the guitar with the dust-bowl quality of John Fahey. Together, they are Artemesia Black: a comfortable circle of two—intimate and shy to the crowd perched inside Alchemy coffeehouse in late August. Their music sounds like strange objects in the darkness, things petrified in stone and doll and spoons. Kenny’s guitar bubbles like a kettle. Sabine’s voice splashes about like a stricken bird.

Salt Lake City is the couple’s first stop on a tour from San Francisco to New York City and back in the next two months. Sabine left her lucrative career in Australia as a graphic artist for the tour.

“I started feeling, ‘What if I died tomorrow?’ I started going through that thought process, thinking what if I did, would I be happy? Would I feel like I accomplished anything? I thought there is a lot of dreams I haven’t accomplished yet so I am going to quit everything, get on a plane and come here to do music for awhile and try to organize a tour across the country and live another type of mind space going from very structured life to where I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow,” she says.

Kenny too left his job of fourteen years in 2007 to travel to Australia after the couple met over MySpace to record their group’s eponymous debut.

“Kenny bought a makeshift recording rig and we worked on the album sporadicallywhen I wasn’t working,” says Sabina.

Kenny notes, “With this album I heard a lot of percussion but we didn’t have drums and stuff so I found things around the apartment that sounded really good like her washing machine for instance that was used as the bass drum, or stomping on the floor and all sorts of things. I tend to use lots of non-traditional, in fact non-instrumental things to make sounds."

Kenny is a classically disciplined musician from San Francisco. He recorded and released Basement 3 Under last year in Australia while also recording the couple’s album. When asked how he manages to pair his distinct sound with her lyrics he notes,

“For me what I’ve always enjoyed doing is taking people’s songs and then sculpting them, taking their raw ideas and sculpting it into a song because I play many instruments so I have a lot of textures available.”

He continues, “I also have a broad palette instrumentally and I have studied everything from Jazz to Classical so there is a lot of things I can borrow from so I have a never ending source of sounds coming to me.”

Artemesia Black is an album rich in swampy lullabies similar to PJ Harvey’s White Chalk. The soft country influence plays it part in a gothic narrative told through the haunting voice of Sabine, a voice like a huge knife dripping blood onto a nightdress. The guitar and percussion give the album the quality of The Cowboy Junkies Trinity Session. Kenny’s presence is untreated and tender, the sound of something whimpering and scratching at the door.

“Sabine is like making a painting when she writes whereas I come from a very technical background so there is a lot of technique involved which in some ways hinders me.” Kenny says. “On this album I stripped it down a lot and on the new stuff I am stripping down even more and trying to get to be more about the feeling and less about the technique."

At times the album is of soap-powder and fresh air, other times it is the clean lines of broken glass, the soothing edges of razor blades packed at the bottom of a cradle. Danger plays like strange comforters in stories told through the memories of dead girls and devil whisperings.

“Songs sometimes will come to me in visitations, from a person who is dead. Whether it is imaginary or real it feels like someone comes and says, ‘I’ve got a story for you, I had this life and now it’s forgotten because I’m dead. Maybe you could just tell the story of me so that I am not forgotten.’ It’s kind about the past,” says Sabine, “but a person presents it to me themselves in this moment,” she continues.
Songs such as “Rosie” and “Beautiful” re-tell these stories from the dead, narratives overcrowded with inimical action and death, stories about young women falling in love with men that will kill them.

“These stories, most of them about women, like girls that come to me, I call them my dead girls, that come and tell me their stories about their lives and sometimes about how they’ve died,” says Sabine. “Because their stories are such a sad thing for most people I like to juxtaposed that with pretty melodies so people won’t even know what the story is about because it is hidden under this nice melody."

The result of these negotiations with the dead is an original and haunting collection of songs. A wholly imaginative collaboration between the living, the dead, a guitarist, and an inventive singer.(Tara Jill Olson)

Dead Zephyr: Week 252

(Bill Frost)