100's the Loneliest Number

[Media] Nathan Gonzalez, a cops and courts reporter for The Salt Lake Tribune, has resigned to take a reporting job with The Arizona Republic in Phoenix.

According to Tribune staff members who keep track of such comings and goings from the Gateway newsroom, Gonzalez is the 100th editorial department employee to hit the pavement since Trib editor Jay Shelledy resigned almost four years ago and moved on to oversee print, broadcast and online student media projects at Louisiana State University.

Trib staffers keep a running list of people who leave the paper, and enjoy tipping City Weekly when they add another name. One long-time staff writer told me over lunch recently that working at the newspaper for many people has just become another job. "I just go to work and do what I'm told," the staffer told me.

It's a whole new and streamlined Trib, owned by Dean Singleton's Denver-based MediaNews Group. People who move on from there are made to understand there are always replacements--typically part-timers or 30-something "interns" who don't merit insurance and other benefits or competitive salaries.

(Holly Mullen)

Throw Her Under the Bus

[Flagrant Scofflaws] Earlier this week, I caught the UTA bus at 255 S. State for a quick trip to the State Capitol (Route #500). While waiting, I watched two other buses get squeezed out of the designated stop because a woman inside an idling mini-van had turned it into her own private loading zone.

About three minutes later, a UTA enforcement officer pulled up behind her and politely explained she was illegally parked at a bus stop. The woman complied and pulled away from the curb.

The spot was still warm when yet another driver in a mini-van pulled into the bus zone. It had a big Mary Kay Cosmetics sticker in the back window. She sat there for a minute, idling away.

When the State Capitol bus arrived, I pointed her out to the driver. He asked if I minded waiting for a minute. I said no. He hopped out of the bus, ran up to the woman just as she was jumping out to run into a building for what? A lunch date?

" You can't park here, ma'am," the driver said. "It's a designated bus stop," he said.

The woman looked at him, and--no kidding--said "how much is the ticket?"

Bus driver said: "I don't know, but I know it's expensive."

Woman said: "Well, I've got to be somewhere. I'll take my chances."

Then she was gone. Bus driver called for a tow truck. (Holly Mullen)

From the Ashes

The building that once was home to DV8 was reduced to a smoldering ruin in a January fire, but don't tell the University of Utah College of Architecture and Planning that you can't turn ashes into lemonade.

On Wednesday, March 12, between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m., the site at 115 S. West Temple will house 12 architectural installations for a project exploring (according to the press release) "the connections between sustainability, architecture and society." Students will be using found objects and recycled materials in an attempt to demonstrate how this empty space can come to represent a phoenix-like rebirth.

We at City Weekly applaud this effort at artistically-based urban renewal notion. What other vacant spaces could benefit from a creative sprucing-up courtesy of our gifted local arts community? (Scott Renshaw)

Sexy Time With KSL

[TV] By now, you've heard of/actively ignored NBC's Lipstick Jungle, a new Thursday-night knockoff of Sex and the City about three powerful Manhattan career women who still find time to cry, yell at their kids and knock back a few martinis with each other while whining about men.

One of the women, Nico (a magazine editor; the other two work in film and fashion--are there any other jobs in Manhattan?), is having an adulterous affair with a hot young stud, so we're treated about one PG-rated sexcapade per week. Last night, Lipstick Jungle's final scene was a nice overhead of naked Nico getting boned by said naked stud, leading right into KSL News at 10.

Are Bruce and Nadine aware of their steamy lead-in? Is anyone at KSL even paying attention? Why exactly are they still not carrying NBC's Saturday Night Live? Most importantly, why was I watching Lipstick Jungle? (Bill Frost)

March 7 in History

[Save the Date] Because you need something to talk about at the dinner table tonight …

1876: Alexander Graham Bell is awarded the patent for the telephone.
1936: German troops occupy the Rhineland.

1965: The “Bloody Sunday” attack on civil rights marchers in Alabama takes place.

1983: ESPN televises the first live pro football game on cable. It was the USFL, but still …

1994: The U.S. Supreme Court rules that parody is a “fair use” under copyright law, and MAD magazine breathes a sigh of relief.

2004: Gene Robinson becomes the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church. (Scott Renshaw)

And the Waters Did Fall Back ...

[Buttars Watch] With so many good reasons to despise Chris Buttars, it's hard to keep up sometimes.

That's why I found myself recently Googling Judge Derek Pullan--a brain cramp made it difficult to recall exactly what Buttars' scathing letter to Pullan was about. Did Pullan grant joint custody to a lesbian mom? No. Rule that the DCFS is legally able to do its job? No.

Oh, that's right--Pullan ruled against one of Buttars' li'l buddies who bought some environmentally protected property and then sued when--surprise!--he wasn't allowed to build on it. (Seems to me a developer would be wise to check whether or not it's legal to develop property before purchasing it. I guess when you've got friends in the Senate, you don't have to worry about pissy little details like that--especially if your Senate friends are far more concerned with other people's sexual morality than they are with their own political ethics.)

In a February story about the Pullan incident, the Provo Daily Herald ran this AP photo, taken during Buttars' 2006 bid to require public schools teach so-called "intelligent design" creation theories as if they were genuine science. Great photo, AP! (Brandon Burt)

Sen. Chris Buttars parts the Red Sea.

Brains TK

[Legislative Afterglow] The Republican majority at the House of Representatives just sent us its official news release outlining the "significant progress" of the 2008 legislative session. It reads, in part:

“It was one of the calmer and more productive sessions I’ve been able to lead,” said [House Speaker Greg] Curtis. “I’m especially heartened by our continued progress improving education funding."

But what's this? Looks like the speaker's staff hit the "send" button a bit prematurely, before double-checking final info. with the boss.

"During my time as speaker," Curtis said, "I’ve seen an unprecedented increase of X billion in education funding, with this year continuing that trend.”

(Holly Mullen)

Never Talk to Strangers

[Marketing Gone Ape] On the way into City Weekly today, at the TRAX station, there were two individuals trying to promote their experimental marketing and promotions website, GuerillaMarketingWorks.com. The two individuals were walking around the station at Gallivan Plaza distributing literature about their website. Did I mention that the literature was printed on bananas and that the two were wearing gorilla suits? I normally make it a rule not to accept fruit from strangers unless they're wearing gorilla suits, but today I deviated from my normal behavior and declined the offering. I did check out the website though, so maybe “gorilla” marketing really does work. (Keith Araneo-Yowell)

It's SUWA's Fault

[Politics as Usual] You already know that the Utah Legislature's hayseed Cowboy Caucus hates the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA) and holds the environmental advocacy group 99.9 percent responsible for locking up millions of acres of federal lands from oil, coal and nuclear power interests.

Betcha didn't know this: SUWA is also the culprit behind the disproportionately high energy costs people of color pay to drive their cars and heat their homes.

No word yet as to whether SUWA has any weapons of mass destruction hidden in its downtown Salt Lake City office, but if Reps. Mike Noel (R-Kanab) and Aaron Tilton (R-Springville) can find a link, they'll be all over it.

I just returned from a press conference at the Capitol in the waning hours of the 2008 Legislature. Noel and Tilton, both of whom have well-publicized personal and business interests in diverting Green River water to develop at least one, and perhaps two nuclear power plants in Southeastern Utah, hosted. Yesterday, Noel sent a letter to SUWA, signed by 45 legislators (42 of them Republicans) demanding the private not-for-profit interest group to produce information related to securities fraud convictions of two board members last year.

Former SUWA board member Bert Fingerhut and former treasurer Mark Ristow are serving 24-month and 20-month federal prison sentences, respectively, for their criminal private securities dealings. SUWA director Scott Groene has stated that an independent audit of the organization shortly after the charges were filed has determined no SUWA involvement in their cases.

The Salt Lake Tribune's Patty Henetz and I tried to get the boys to more fully discuss their ties to the nuclear project they're pushing for the red rock of Emery County, but Tilton quickly brushed us off. "We didn't come here today to talk about that," he blurted. Noel added: "We can talk about that later if you want."

Today, Noel began the show by introducing Niger Innis, spokesman for the Congress of Racial Equality (Core). "When the energy companies get the sniffles, my people get the flu," Innis said.

Innis said the poor and urban black populations pay a disproportionate amount of utility costs in this country. No argument there. Therefore, he argued, every last bit of public land should be available for energy exploration to keep oil and gas prices in check. "I'm an environmentalist," Innis said. "But I'm not an extreme environmentalist."

Earlier this legislative session, House Republicans were all agitato during floor debate about New York Rep. Maurice Hinchey's involvement in protecting public lands in the West. They reasoned he had no right to do so. He doesn't even live here.

Niger Innis flew into Salt Lake from CORE headquarters in--wait for it--New York City.

No irony here, people. Nope, not a whit.

Disclosure: My husband, Ted Wilson, is vice chairman of the SUWA Board. (Holly Mullen)

The Phoenix

[Campaign 2008] People: We have a race again. Can you dig it? (Holly Mullen)

Let the Girls Play

[Sports Melodrama] The University of Utah men's basketball team meets Colorado State in just over an hour at the Huntsman Center on the U. campus.

CSU is in the basement of the Mountain West Conference standings. The Utes have lost their last two games. It's gotten so bad for Utah that peripatetic coach Jim Boylen still can't let go of his rage against Wyoming for a last-minute cheap play at the expense of his team last Saturday.

Meanwhile, I'm telling you people: All hope lies with the U. of U. women's team. Last Sunday, the Ute women handily beat the Wyoming Cowgirls, no slouch on the national women's roster. They've clinched the MWC title. Watch how far they go in The Big Dance.

Tickets to the women's game have been going for $1. Would you rather pay to watch winners for $1 or listen to winers who will be lucky to finish in the bottom three, but will still attract thousands in the stands simply because they are male? (Holly Mullen)

How Did You Get This Number?!

[Techophobia] I just got a call from "Withheld" on my cell phone from a group hell-bent on defeating the "Alco-Pops" bill. I listened intently to his spiel about how "flavored malt beverages" are no different than beer and shouldn't be relegated to liquor stores. Fight the power, bro.

Than I asked, "How did you get this number? It's a cell phone." His answer: "I don't know, it's in the computer. Can I connect you directly to the Governor's office?" My reply: "No. Go suck a warm Bacardi Silver, jerkoff."

Anybody else had the telemarketer experience on your cell? Slippery slope ... (Bill Frost)

First an "Arty", Now This!

[Lit] Congratulations to Utah author Gordon Campbell, whose 2007 novel Missing Witness has been nominated for an Edgar Award--a high honor for mystery writers--in the category of Best First Novel. Learn a little more about Cambell's late-in-life move from attorney to novelist here in a write-up among the staff-picks for last year's City Weekly Artys. We can say we knew him when. (Scott Renshaw)

Brown Bagging It

[Local Music] I learned a few months back that I no longer need to drape my cheap rioja in a drab paper bag when exiting the wine store! I walked out holding the bottle over my shoulder, shaking it like a prize fighter. Of course, there's nothing wrong with brown bagging--especially when occasion calls for free music, warm weather and lunch! That's right. It's that time again (local bands, take note):

31st Annual Brown Bag Concert Series

A program of the Salt Lake City Arts Council, the Brown Bag Concert Series is a summer-long series of free concerts in downtown Salt Lake City. Concerts are held Monday through Friday, from 12:15 to 1:00pm, at a variety of area parks and plazas. The series begins Monday, June 30, 2008 and continues through Friday, Aug. 29, 2008. The series presents all disciplines of the performing arts.

This is a paying gig friends. Artist fees are $80 for a solo artist and $65 per person for up to 10 members.

Here is the link to the application. .. apply fast the deadline is 4pm on March 14th.

(Jamie Gadette)

Free LGBT Documentary Tonight

[Film] The nice acronym friendly folks with LGBT Utah and ACLU Utah are putting on a free screening of a documentary called "Freedom to Parent: Lesbian and Gay Families." Kind of a dud title, if you ask me, but looks nonetheless to be a film ready to grapple with some controversial notions in these parts. The movie is tonight, is free and is on the 4th floor conference room of the downtown library March 4 at 7 p.m.

There'll be a discussion afterwards with Kenneth Choe, Senior Staff Attorney with the ACLU’s National Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender & AIDS Project and local advocate Will Carlson, of the Equality Utah group.

Certainly a good opportunity for all interested in the issue to become better educated. Lord knows a little education and dialogue never hurt the civil discourse 'round here. (Eric S. Peterson)

Dead Zephyr: Week 225

(Bill Frost)

It Ends Tomorrow

[Legislative Decorum] So much has been written and said this legislative session about "decorum" and the breach of such, Salt Blog thought you might enjoy a little exchange between a constituent and Rep. Curtis Oda, R-Cleafield. Oda has been the point man this year on most gun-related issues, including a controversial bill to allow people to carry loaded weapons in the open on public university campuses.

BTW, the 2008 Lege. of Champions ends tomorrow. Courage, people.

----Original Message-----
From: Curtis Oda [mailto:coda@utah.gov]
Sent: Monday, March 03, 2008 3:08 PM
To: Douglas James Parkin
Subject: [SPAM] Re: guns on campus

Mr. Parkin,

Guns are already allowed to be carried openly in the House Chamber. So, assuming you are a professor, who obviously has no clue as to the laws, Bye!

-----Original Message-----
From: "Douglas James Parkin"
To: Oda, Curtis

Sent: 3/3/2008 2:51:50 PM
Subject: [SPAM] guns on campus

''Why haven't the professors left yet? That kind of befuddles me," he said. If they fear the law abiding citizen, then I say, 'Bye.'

Mr. Oda,
Until guns are openly allowed in the Utah House of Representatives, may I suggest that you keep your asinine opinions about the attitudes and motivations of public school professors to yourself!

>>> "Douglas James Parkin" 3/3/2008 3:53 PM >>>
Yee! Haw! Wild West.
Shoot'em up! A gun in every hand!

Actually, I am not a professor. I am a student with a voice and a vote. I don't need a gun. You make me sick.

-----Original Message-----
From: Curtis Oda [mailto:coda@utah.gov]
Sent: Monday, March 03, 2008 4:44 PM
To: Douglas James Parkin
Subject: [SPAM] RE: guns on campus

Good, i hope you choke on your vomit! Go crawl back under that rock you came from.

(Holly Mullen)

The Week in Suck

[Music] As Dan Nailen points out in The Lounge Act, Lifehouse is indeed one of the worst rock bands ever--and they're playing a sold-out show tonight at The Depot. Meanwhile, I'll bet tomorrow night's Clutch (the best rock band ever) show at the same joint won't do the same numbers. I'm not passing judgment on you people ... far as you know.

And it's not just Lifehouse; this is a week rife with shitty music. Tomorrow night, Angels & Airwaves (a former Blink-182er's stab at "adult rock," read: paid to go pussy) swish through In the Venue, then Matchbox Twenty (the thinking man's Vertical Horizon) drag their sorry asses through the E Center. What did we do to deserve such a tsunami of suck?

Oh, and the there's Linkin Park (Lifehouse 2.0--with a "rapper"!) next week! Jeeesus! Why? (Bill Frost)

WTF is Chessboxing?

[Sport-ish] Large cities in Europe and the eastern United States have recently seen the growth in popularity of one of the most interesting and decidedly batshit insane sports, if that's what you'd call it.

Chessboxing combines the most intense thinking man’s game with the most intense fighting man's game in alternating rounds of speed chess (4 minutes) and boxing (3 minutes). Players/fighters have one minute between rounds to change gear in order to overcome the inherent complications of playing chess wearing boxing gloves. Matches are decided by K.O. or checkmate with a few other strange rules in the event of a stalemate.

Other than the question that forms the subject of this blog, the natural question is whether or not there are people in Utah who actually do this. Let me know; I'm with you on this one. (Keith Araneo-Yowell)

Cuckoo for Cook

[Politics] Merrill Cook is back! And this time, he's going to take down sorta-Democrat Jim Matheson! Ron Paul and Ralph Nader could not be reached for comment, but it most likely would have been "Are you fucking serious?" or "He's still around?"

Says Cook in today's Salt Lake Tribune, "I'm an independent-minded Republican ... This may be the year when that's OK." Yeah, probably not--but if it keeps him too busy to attempt another talk-radio show, great. He probably doesn't even need to update his old Website, either.