The Randy Rabbi

Anyone read the July Catalyst's "Trial by Internet"/Marc Gafni piece? It's about a New Agey defrocked rabbi with a long history of sexual peccadilloes ("unconventional" and "bohemian" is how he prefers to describe his personal life). Two years ago, he "retreated" to Utah and lately managed to enlist editor/publisher Greta deJong, blogger Jeff Bell and even former SLC Mayor Rocky Anderson to rise to his defense and explain how how he isn't a sexual predator.

He claims that Internet bloggers of questionable character have placed him in their cross hairs and ruined his life.

Sexual improprieties have dogged Gafni since he was 19, when he allegedly became involved with a 13 year old. The Catalyst article characterizes the relationship as no more than "petting," and "mutually engaged." However, in a 2004 Jewish Week article by editor Gary Rosenblatt, Gafni explained his involvement by essentially blaming the girl: "I was a stupid kid and we were in love. She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her."

Sorry, Rabbi, but had that played out in Utah, you'd have likely done time and then had yet another Internet headache to contend with: the state's sex offender registry.

Gafni’s not the first guru to grope nor is he the first high-profile guy to admit guilt and then try to wrestle his way out of the hornet's nest, claiming he was set up (Larry Craig, anyone?). That Rocky, a ladies' man himself, would speak up for a guy like Gafni in some ways is not surprising, but on a larger plane, it is.

I found myself wondering how the rabbi ended up here, in Salt Lake City, a land where even Jews are considered gentiles. Then a light bulb came on: our culture's begrudging tolerance of "Big Love." Here, we don't arrest guys with more than one wife. And the women, a few anyway, will even go along with it. Would seem to work well with his M.O.

Moral of the story: don't "do" the women you work or church with, and then only one at a time. And the old "hell hath no fury ..." Hey, even "powerful" women—evolved and spiritual feminists—get jealous. Guess you know that now. (Jerre Wroble)

The Other May Tag ...

[Rocky Watch] The holidays remain in effect until after New Year's ... so, at the risk of contributing to the general Christmas hangover, I wanted to share an e-card sent by a friend of mine over the long weekend. Photoshop job? Cocktail party gone bad? True love? You be the judge. (Brandon Burt)

Just Call 'Em "Liars"

[Rocky's World] The final days of Rocky Anderson are upon us...and more notably, upon him. What with mayor-elect Ralph Becker already measuring for drapes in his future office, Salt Lake's outgoing mayor is more desperate than ever for attention.

In today's Salt Lake Tribune, Anderson goes all junk-yard dog on the American Legion in a commentary. There seems to be some question of Anderson's honor at stake (isn't that just always the case?). Also, something about whether Anderson returned a plaque to the AL after a recent dust-up over his part in a re-dedication of the veterans section at the City Cemetery.

I was reading along just fine until Anderson labeled the American Legion and his other critics in the veterans community "prevaricators." Wow. That was some million-dollar lawyer word, all right. In my world as a newspaper editor, we always tell reporters to "write it so Ruby down at the diner can understand it!" So I checked "prevaricators" in my on-line dictionary.

Prevaricate: "To deviate from the truth; to deliberately misstate; lie."

Of course, he could have just called his critics "liars." But five-syllable words sound so very official. (Holly Mullen)

Rocky in NYC

[World of Rocky] It used to be the only thing people east of the Rockies knew about Utah was Mormonism. During the late 1990s, a Beehive State traveler might also get "Karl Malone," but that was about it. No more.

NYC limo driver: “Where you from?”
Me: “Utah.”
Driver: “You Mormon?”
Me: “No.”
Driver: “What’s the name of your mayor? Ah, yea. Rocky. (Lapses into a bad imitation of Anderson with a Dominican accent). ‘We’re not all *&%** Mormons in Utah.’ Yea, Rocky. He is known.”

More evidence, perhaps, to support speculation of Rocky as future minister of environment in a Hillary administration? (Ted McDonough)

Pissin' in the Wind

[CITY] The last few days over on Mullentown.com discussion has been rather lively about our crybaby Salt Lake City mayor for life, Rocky Anderson. By way of review, Mullentown.com is my personal blog, and not to be confused for the whole other wild and free voice I get to express here at CW Blog.

I heard Rocky a good bit on radio and TV last week, with reporters going all ga-ga over the prospect he might run for a third term. That's only if the November election comes down to the two candidates he finds most distasteful--Jenny Wilson (who happens to be my stepdaugher) and Dave Buhler. Wilson is currently leading in early polls, followed by Buhler. Neither of them is Rocky's hand-picked candidate. That would be Republican businessman Keith Christensen, who has raised more than a half-million dollars but can't seem to find a political base.

Rocky was going on, as always, about the good work he's done for the city. He says he spends plenty of time here doing the heavy lifting as mayor. I'm guessing, though, if he needs a couple of campaign issues to run on should he decide to jump in the race I'll suggest this one:

You know all those Main Street planter boxes Rocky lobbied the City Council for a few years ago? He finally got them in place. They're beautiful all right--sprouting colorful annual flowers and sprucing up an otherwise grim stretch of urban decay.

Only problem is, they smell like piss. Someone is using them as a public urinal. Who? Homeless guys? Drunks stumbling out of Murphy's late at night? Who knows? I've never actually seen anyone taking a leak on them, but I know what my nose knows. It's especially enticing to walk past a planter box at 3 in the afternoon on a 100+ degree day, if you get my drift.

Our mayor is prancing around New York right now, protesting Bush and Cheney and giving interviews to leftie talk shows. If he could just give an order to drop a few urinal cakes in the planter boxes, all might be well on our little patch of Main Street paradise. (Holly Mullen)

Air Space Case

This week's Private Eye inquiry from City Weekly honcho John Saltas:

Mayor Rocky Anderson wants to sell airspace above a certain stretch of Main Street to protect against construction of a sky bridge walkway. Is that the only section of Salt Lake City air space worth protecting?

Original column here. Comment away below ...

Rocky vs. Hannity: The Thrilla In Vanilla

Friday, May 4—the day that will live in infamy. Not because of the long-awaited Assclown Smackdown debate between Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson and TV/radio personality Sean Hannity, but because new City Weekly editor Holly Mullen finally gave me an assignment: Cover the debate. OK, it was really more of an afterthought, like “Well, the ASUU sent over a media-request fax and nobody else here wants to go—you’re on it, Frost.” Now I don’t have to take another order for the rest of the year—score!

An hour before show time outside of Kingsbury Hall, the media almost outnumbered the ticket-holders; reporters and their cameramen would size up small groups and jump in with “Are you here for Rocky or Hannity?” then hang back and wait for the soundbite magic. Since I was stag and apparently didn’t have that right glint of crazy in my eyes (just, sadly, sobriety), they avoided me—until Fox 13’s Andrea Fujii came up and asked “Excuse me, have you chosen a side in the debate?” My reply: “No, I can’t stand either one of ‘em.” She was momentarily excited, until I told her I was there covering the event just like her—minus the perfect hair. “Oh, you don’t count, then.” Thanks, Andrea.

The crowd of Hannitards (who seemed to be the majority outside) and Rockheads (who, like typical liberals, were fashionably late) then filtered into Kingsbury, and I was led to my seat on Media Row in the rear of the hall. To my left, no less than four Salt Lake Tribune reporters with laptops blazing. To my right, Jesse Kennedy, the videogame reviewer from SLUG magazine. To his right, yet more Tribune people. They were covering the shit out of this thing.

KSL Newsradio’s Doug Wright took the stage and instantly proved those of us who believed he could never be more annoying than he is on the air very wrong—I’d say he’s an insincere, smarmy game-show host, but I have too much respect for game-show hosts. After a seeming eternity of Wrighteousness, he finally introduced the real star of the show, moderator Ken Verdoia. Coming across like a public-television version of The Daily Show’s Lewis Black, the KUED host laid out the ground rules for the debate and shut down the show's first heckler (“Put a sock in it!”). It was the last time he was in control of anything for the rest of the night.

Verdoia then introduced Anderson, who walked onstage to a 50/50 barrage of cheers and boos. Anderson talked his way through a PowerPoint presentation like the lawyer he is, stopping just short of superimposing George W. Bush’s face over Adolf Hitler’s (you know his handlers talked him out of it while he pled “But it’ll be sooo cool!”). As far as making an intellectual case for getting the hell out of Iraq and impeaching Bush, Anderson essentially nailed it (and, of course, went over time). Too bad this wasn’t an intellectual event.

Hannity came out and did what Hannity does: Bash liberals, Democrats and anyone who doesn’t have their heads ensconced as firmly up the Republican Party’s ass as he does—and the Kool-Aid drinkers loooved it. No facts, no figures, just pure hucksterism and showmanship. It’s easy to see why the Hannitards have been sucked in: The guy’s good, a “straight-shootin’” charmer. In all of his bullshit, however, Hannity actually made excellent points about partisan politics and divisive rhetoric … while dispensing partisan politics and divisive rhetoric.

Oh, and the Trib reporters who listened so intently to Anderson mostly yakked amongst themselves while Hannity spoke, while Jesse and I played Mystery Science Theater 3000 smart-asses during both—you can’t pigeonhole the Liberal Media, damn it!

Then came the Q&A periods: Anderson and Hannity asking questions of each other, followed by written questions for both from the audience. Save for Verdoia’s exasperated comic relief (“I would throw this watch away, but it was a gift from my wife”), the rest of the evening was the shrill clusterfuck pro-wrestling match that local newscasts had been promising for weeks. But I still have more respect for the WWE.

In conclusion: No minds were changed, nobody “won,” local charities made some good money, Doug Wright is a smarmy game-show host, Ken Verdoia is The Man, Andrea Fujii believes I don’t count, the Tribune has waaay too many reporters (and Rebecca Walsh didn’t even say goodbye—I thought we had a real connection), beer tastes much better after a long-ass debate (a Tetley’s at The Republican—thanks, Jon Dunn of KSL Newsradio’s Nightside Project), and I may have a name-dropping problem … (Bill Frost)

Fox 13: The Rocky vs. Hannity debate video