Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Pissin' in the Wind

[CITY] The last few days over on Mullentown.com discussion has been rather lively about our crybaby Salt Lake City mayor for life, Rocky Anderson. By way of review, Mullentown.com is my personal blog, and not to be confused for the whole other wild and free voice I get to express here at CW Blog.

I heard Rocky a good bit on radio and TV last week, with reporters going all ga-ga over the prospect he might run for a third term. That's only if the November election comes down to the two candidates he finds most distasteful--Jenny Wilson (who happens to be my stepdaugher) and Dave Buhler. Wilson is currently leading in early polls, followed by Buhler. Neither of them is Rocky's hand-picked candidate. That would be Republican businessman Keith Christensen, who has raised more than a half-million dollars but can't seem to find a political base.

Rocky was going on, as always, about the good work he's done for the city. He says he spends plenty of time here doing the heavy lifting as mayor. I'm guessing, though, if he needs a couple of campaign issues to run on should he decide to jump in the race I'll suggest this one:

You know all those Main Street planter boxes Rocky lobbied the City Council for a few years ago? He finally got them in place. They're beautiful all right--sprouting colorful annual flowers and sprucing up an otherwise grim stretch of urban decay.

Only problem is, they smell like piss. Someone is using them as a public urinal. Who? Homeless guys? Drunks stumbling out of Murphy's late at night? Who knows? I've never actually seen anyone taking a leak on them, but I know what my nose knows. It's especially enticing to walk past a planter box at 3 in the afternoon on a 100+ degree day, if you get my drift.

Our mayor is prancing around New York right now, protesting Bush and Cheney and giving interviews to leftie talk shows. If he could just give an order to drop a few urinal cakes in the planter boxes, all might be well on our little patch of Main Street paradise. (Holly Mullen)


  1. They are also occasional repositories for other bodily fluids -- partiers praying to the planterbox goddess, if you know what I mean. I actually felt the planters were a good idea, or at least a good effort; it's too bad inconsiderate others have to ruin it.

  2. "prancing"? Really? I would love to see Mayor Anderson prancing. I never pictured him as a prancer. Did he prance in the gay pride day parade with his "this is what a dyke looks like" t-shirt?

    I get it, Rocky is on your bad side. He picked on your step-daughter (among many others), who is a grown-up and running for Mayor herself. I don't think you are doing her any favors by lashing out at Rocky in your blogs in her defense. The stinky planter boxes are his fault? While we are at it, let's blame him for tossed cigarette butts, public flatulence, and unwashed body odor.

    Jenny is a fine candidate and I will probably vote for her, if Rocky doesn't run again. You are starting to sound like the Rocky critics that "Saturday's Voyeur" parodies.

  3. Oh anonymous, I wish it were as simple as a swipe at my big-girl family member. The mayor has been fostering a grudge against me for more than three years. Something about a couple of SL Tribune columns I wrote criticizing his hiring/firing practices. Stacked up against the numerous pieces I've written praising our mayor (including several in favor of his passionate protests against the war), I'm at a loss to know what his problem is.

    If there were a diagnosis for it, it might be called paper-thin skin. There's no cure for that, apparently.

  4. I'm all for the planter boxes. They may stink, but at least they absorb the fluids. I've seen too many public urinators going straight on the concrete (just a few days ago) or in our elevator (true story), so I'm all for wet dirt rather than puddles.

    I say more planters, that is if we can't get more public restrooms.


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