
I heard Rocky a good bit on radio and TV last week, with reporters going all ga-ga over the prospect he might run for a third term. That's only if the November election comes down to the two candidates he finds most distasteful--Jenny Wilson (who happens to be my stepdaugher) and Dave Buhler. Wilson is currently leading in early polls, followed by Buhler. Neither of them is Rocky's hand-picked candidate. That would be Republican businessman Keith Christensen, who has raised more than a half-million dollars but can't seem to find a political base.
Rocky was going on, as always, about the good work he's done for the city. He says he spends plenty of time here doing the heavy lifting as mayor. I'm guessing, though, if he needs a couple of campaign issues to run on should he decide to jump in the race I'll suggest this one:
You know all those Main Street planter boxes Rocky lobbied the City Council for a few years ago? He finally got them in place. They're beautiful all right--sprouting colorful annual flowers and sprucing up an otherwise grim stretch of urban decay.
Only problem is, they smell like piss. Someone is using them as a public urinal. Who? Homeless guys? Drunks stumbling out of Murphy's late at night? Who knows? I've never actually seen anyone taking a leak on them, but I know what my nose knows. It's especially enticing to walk past a planter box at 3 in the afternoon on a 100+ degree day, if you get my drift.
Our mayor is prancing around New York right now, protesting Bush and Cheney and giving interviews to leftie talk shows. If he could just give an order to drop a few urinal cakes in the planter boxes, all might be well on our little patch of Main Street paradise. (Holly Mullen)