Ugly Babies

[Thursday Quiz] Which Republican said it? You are given a stupid and/or offensive quote. Each answer is the name of a Republican idiot and his or her job at the time those immortal words were uttered. (Hint: None of the quotes came from George W. Bush.)

1. "If you wanted to reduce crime, you could--if that were your sole purpose--you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." [Answer]
2. "Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life." [Answer]
3. "What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is." [Answer]
4. "In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." [Answer]
5. "I feel the best way to ensure Americans' freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people." [Answer]
6. "Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." [Answer]
7. "God is the one who chooses our rulers." [Answer]

(Brandon Burt)

Super States

[Thursday Quiz] Each answer is the name of a state that participated in the Feb. 5 Super Tuesday primaries.

1. The sale of dildos was outlawed here in April 1998. [Answer]
2. Old Spice says this state’s capital is the sweatiest city in the nation. [Answer]
3. Atomic bombs turned this state’s sand to glass. [Answer]
4. Home of Cartman and Kenny. [Answer]
5. Home of a newspaper which, despite a confusing series of Murdoch-based ownership changes during the 1990s, is the longest-publishing daily in the U.S. [Answer]
6. Dorothy didn’t think we were there anymore. [Answer]
7. Where Martha Stewart says she’s from. [Answer]
8. Where Martha Stewart’s really from. [Answer]
9. Has the annoying habit of calling itself “The First State.” [Answer]
10. Home of Suzanne Sugarbaker. [Answer]
11. Home to a lot of gay men who, for some reason, are willing to admit they've had sex with a creepy Republican U.S. senator. [Answer]
12. Its biggest city is little. [Answer]
13. In 1784, eight territorial counties tried—and failed—to form their own state named “Franklin.” Today, they belong to this U.S. state. [Answer]
14. Its largest city is the fifth most-populous city in the nation—so, naturally, it’s “The Second City.” [Answer]
15. This state is known for having an abundance of single men. [Answer]
16. Mitt Romney pulled the wool over this state’s eyes in 2002: [Answer]
17. People often say that, if this state were a country, it would have the “10th-largest,” “sixth-largest” or “somethingth-largest” economy in the world. [Answer]
18. This state has more lakes than it will admit to. [Answer]
19. Mormon prophet Joseph Smith said “Adam-ondi-Ahman” (the Garden of Eden) was located in the western part of this state. [Answer]
20. Home of pulp-Western author Louis L’Amour, singer Peggy Lee, bandleader Lawrence Welk and irritating onetime Republican House majority leader Dick Armey. [Answer]
21. This state refused to issue birth certificates for children of gay parents until it got slapped by an appeals court in 2007. [Answer]
22. John Saltas can tell you that this state’s official cooking vessel is the Dutch oven. [Answer]

(Brandon Burt)

Holy C.O.D.!

[Thursday Quiz] Each answer is the name of a religious leader. You are given a brief description and the cause of his or her death.

1. Founded Christianity; crucifixion. [Answer]
2. First Latter-day Saint prophet; gunshot wounds. [Answer]
3. Sci-fi author; stroke. [Answer]
4. Translated the Bible into German; heart attack. [Answer]
5. Thelemic author of The Book of the Law; respiratory infection [Answer]
6. Barely became the first Christian Roman emperor; prolonged illness. [Answer]
7. Christian Science founder; pneumonia. [Answer]
8. Bisexual founder of Wicca; lung cancer. [Answer]
9. Indian prince who achieved Nirvana; mushroom poisoning [Answer]
10. Islamic prophet; head pains [Answer]
11. Jewish prophet; died in Jordan on Mt. Nebo [Answer]
12. First Mormon Utah governor; cholera [Answer]

(Brandon Burt)