Henson Is as Henson Does

[Crime] Sources seem to lean heavily toward describing this alleged robber of a Murray bank as possibly being of Muppet origin.

So far, he/she has been called Snuffleupagus, Animal from The Muppet Show, and--my own opinion--one of the UrRu from The Dark Crystal.

Note: If you want to rob a bank, it might be a good idea to make sure your disguise isn't too entertaining; next thing this hapless guy will know, his photo will be in blogs and e-mails across the world. Not to mention all over LOLRobbers.com.

(Brandon Burt)

Buzz Kill

[Crimewatch] Yeah, those yellowjackets distributing Media One's Trib-lite "commuter daily" the Buzz are still annoying, albeit a little less so since management forced them to use their indoor voices and stop dumping their papers on car windshields.

But my heart goes out to the girl posted on our cruel section of Main Street near the Gallivan TRAX station. The yellowjackets are issued handtrucks for carting their bundles around and, yesterday, some downtown ne'er-do-well swiped hers. (The thief was thoughtful enough to leave the stack of papers behind, though, which meant no knocking off early for her.)

Today, when I saw an unfamiliar yellowjacket in the area, I feared the worst--could some heartless suit at Media One have sacked her? It's not like it was her fault.

Well, those fears were not borne out; she's back on main street hawking her issues--sans handtruck. I wonder when they'll get around to issuing her a new one?

Most interestingly, what in the world could somebody have wanted with one to begin with? Did somebody have stacks of papers laying around that they wanted to move? If you're the culprit, let us know (even anonymously). I'm curious.
(Brandon Burt)

Junk the Junk

[Drug Reform] This week's cover feature follows the leap many Utahns have been taking from prescription pain pills to heroin. For those of us who have seen how this deadly trap can consume and eradicate the lives of those close to us, this is an issue that strikes a sore nerve. I can attest to this personally and for anyone else who has had family struggle with this same nightmare, its important to stay current on what your community and government is doing about these problems.

It is worth pointing out some recent success Utah lawmakers are having with the Drug Offender Reform Act, a program still in its pilot stage that would link drug offenders with existing community rehabilitation resources in a way that would allow offenders to be put more efficiently through treatment, as opposed to being shuffled in and out of jail where there is a tragic dearth of treatment options. The legislation would hopefully also clear alot of space in our overcrowded corrections facilities.

This rather progressive bit of legislation actually was sponsored by Sen. Chris Buttars R-West Jordan. While Buttars has been at the receiving end of some of the Weekly's criticism for many of his positions, the pragmatism he has displayed on this front is admirable. "Al ot of people say we should get tough on crime," says Buttars "I think we need to get smart on crime first."

While it is early in the programs test phase if you are interested in seeing the progress of the Drug Offender Reform Act to see whether or not its something you believe is worth nagging your rep to support, check out the 2005 report to the legislature here or the DORA fact sheet here. (Eric S. Peterson)

U R 2 Cool 2 B 4 Gotten

[Celebrity Perps] It's always fun when other people get busted for doing things that you probably pulled (hopefully) in high school. It's especially satisfying when the perp is a celebrity, which is why we've all seen Lindsey Lohan's dazed-and-confused mugshot taken shortly after her infamous DUI. But for those of us who could now give two shits about the one-time Mean Girl, The Smoking Gun has an impressive collection of arresting images including a chicken-poxed James Frey, pre-bail Amy Fisher, and ... Yanni? My favorites are the petty criminals who just couldn't wipe that smug/stoned/drunk/stupid smile off their faces long enough to at least feign remorse (see above). (Jamie Gadette)

Drugs! In Pioneer Park!

[News] An update on City Weekly's Pioneer Park story. There are drugs and crime in the park. In fact, according to statistics compiled for the paper by the Salt Lake City Police Department, drug crime and violence appear on the upswing.

In 2006, there were a total of 288 drug crimes reported either in Pioneer Park or on the streets surrounding the park. With three months to go in 2007, there have already been 400 drug crimes reported to police.

Park drug crime numbers shot up in 2006 when police began weekly drug operations, including undercover stings. The year before those stings began, 2005, just 89 drug incidents were reported in or near the park.

Violent crime in the park hasn't seen the same explosion: 24 incidents were reported in 2005, 33 in 2006 and 35 in 2007.

Even if much of the increase in drug arrests can be attributed to increased police presence, the statistics still suggest the police aren’t winning. The number of people arrested for drug offenses in or near the park jumped more than one-third between this year and last.

In 2006, 246 people were arrested for drug crimes. Through the first nine months of 2007, police have arrested 374 on drug charges. (Ted McDonough)

Do Not Go Gently

[Attitude] Yay! After a bit of a hiatus, the SLPD has added City Weekly as a regular e-mail recipient again of its crime log. Just like a member of the grown-up media!

The just-released weekend log from Salt Lake's Finest includes predictable mayhem outside a couple of bars, a vehicular hit and run, and a home invasion by who else--a raging meth-head. I like the following report best of all:

1615 Robbery (that's 4:15 p.m. Sunday)
876 W. 800 S. (Pueblitos Joyeria)
Case number: 07-191583
"The victim was working at this store when the suspect, a male white adult in his 20s, 5’ tall and very thin, entered the store. The suspect sprayed the victim with lighter fluid, pulled out a lighter and threatened to light the victim on fire if he didn’t give him the jewelry. The victim picked up a large chair and threatened to beat the suspect. The suspect ran from the store and got into a blue Dodge van and fled the scene."

Let's hear it for the desk clerk who wouldn't let a little threat of massive third-degree burns take him down ... (Holly Mullen)