Hell Kitchen

[WTF Promo Item] The following e-mail message made its way to City Weekly today; apparently, someone has no sense of what we might find entertaining ... or tolerable:

We would like to extend an invitation to you and a guest to come be a memberof the studio audience for the Cooking Delight television show!

We tape the show at a studio in SLC from 10:45AM -12:15PM. This week we are taping Wed. the 23rd, Fri., the 25th and next Wed. we tape on the 30th! Check out the show at cookingdelight.tv!

All studio audience members will most likely be on camera because the set is designed like a cafe with tables and chairs. We need smiling faces and excited audience members! The show is a party in the kitchen with celebrity guests and live music!

This Wed., July 23rd, we have musical artist Peter Breinholt! This Friday, July 25th the mania starts in the Cooking Delight kitchen with screaming fans for the Beatles, well ok, Imagine, the Tribute Band, but you will not be able to tell the difference! As always, Jennifer Burns, the host, will share a few original recipes and keep the party going in the kitchen! We have a few seats left for both shows - so hurry and email us for a request to come to the taping!

Good god. Peter Breinholt? A fake Beatles? I'd rather have my scrotum kicked in repeatedly by Gordon Ramsay, but that's just me. Check out the show Saturdays and Sundays on KJZZ 14! Promo accomplished. (Bill Frost)

The Music! In Your Mouth!

[WTF Promo Item] When the cylindrical package arrived today, could have been a bomb or a dildo. Turns out it was just a mouthful of High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale.

"Be good to your teeth and they'll be good to you Rock your teeth clean with this exciting toothbrush! Encourage better brushing habits and hear one of your favorite songs while you brush! Turbo-charged with improved sound technology, this cool toothbrush sends sound vibrations streaming from the bristles through your teeth – so you can actually hear music inside your head! Just press the button, wait for the beep and brush away! To increase the volume, simply increase your brushing pressure! If you brush well, you get great sound, and you’ll actually hear 2 full minutes of the song 'Be Good to Me' performed by the wildly popular Ashley Tisdale! "

Yes, the Turbo Tooth Tunes toothbrush plays the hits while you scrub away the plaque or whatever else you picked up at that rainbow party. Says "real D.D.S." Ed McLaren on the back of the box, it "makes you really want to brush for 2 minutes." This is assuming Tisdale's soon-to-be-wildly-popular "Be Good to Me" is at least 3 minutes long and you'll want to spit her out ASAP. And why isn't she smiling? Is that the look of realizing what it's come to? (Bill Frost)