Sexing the Reindeer

["News"] A veterinary professor at Texas A&M posits that all eight of Santa's reindeer are female (er, that is, she says they "were" female--does she know something we don't?) I scoff at this madness. Yes, scoff!

Now, depictions of antlers on tole paintings and Christmas cards don't seem to me sufficient basis on which to determine that an entire herd of deer somehow ended up being the same sex. That's no way to maintain a sustainable reindeer operation. (And don't even laughingly mention Rudolph--that ersatz, 20th-century commercial invention has no place in the true mythology.)

Going by names, Cupid is undoubtedly male, and Vixen is certainly female. QED, it's a mixed bunch. Here's my attempt at sexing the reindeer:

• Dasher--male
• Dancer--female
• Prancer--male
• Vixen--female
• Comet--male
• Cupid--male
• Donner--male
• Blitzen--female

I figure "Donner" and "Blitzen," from the German for "thunder" and "lightning," must be a breeding pair, and the plural "-en" ending is more feminine in that language, so there you go. Comet and Prancer could go either way--and, for that matter, they probably do.

(Brandon Burt)

Puttin' the "R" Back in Ratings

[Sex & Violence] A post today from one of our favorite local blogs, Voice of Utah, expressed concern that the film reviews from SLC's daily newspapers just weren't specific enough about the sex and violence content of movies: "If we're going to spend hard earned money on a movie, we would rather it not be one with graphic violence or sex ... How do I know whether my sensibilities will be offended by this movie? Well, OK, this one seems pretty obvious," referring to the papers' info about P2.

City Weekly didn't review P2; we just know it's going to suck.

Conversely, some of us would rather be sure our money is going toward quality sex and violence (30 Days of Night didn't quite live up to its graphic hype). VU pointed out a website that would be highly useful for both camps: KidsInMind.com. Dig these details about Fred Claus: "A woman wears a low-cut and short dress that reveals cleavage and bare legs to the thigh throughout the movie. A woman wears a low-cut dress that reveals cleavage. Two men wear sumo belts (their bare backs, chests and legs are visible)." There are nearly 20 other sex/violence bullet points on the PG flick.

I'm suddenly interested in Fred Claus--thanks, Kids In Mind! (Bill Frost)

Def, Deaf & Blind

[Music] Two interesting articles to contemplate today as you vote for one white male mayoral candidate or the other, both pertaining to hip-hop.

The first, an essay authored by a noted professor who published books on Tupac and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., argues in favor of the oft-maligned musical genre (or at least encourages critics to actually listen to a wide body of work before rejecting it as misogynistic, backwards nonsense). The other, an article exploring hip-hop's supposed influence on teenager's sex lives, suggests that the genre's significance stops when the listener comes of age. As if it's something we outgrow.

And while the NY Times does site Bakari Kitwana in its closing thoughts, I'm more inclined to side with the thoughtful scholar who recognizes hip-hop as art without boiling it down to youthful indiscretion. What do you think? (Jamie Gadette)