The DABC Magic 8 Ball

[Liquor Laws] The Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control has put out a newsletter to explain new liquor laws that went into effect this week. Unfortunately, divining exactly what the Utah Legislature had in mind when it passed its latest version of liquor “reform” is like reading tarot cards.

As reformulated by the 2008 Legislature, Utah law now says bars have an option of changing their meters to pour “up to” 1.5-ounce drinks, instead of the standard 1-ounce pour of the old law. But the new liquor law also banned sidecars and reduced the total amount of alcohol in a drink by one-fourth an ounce, creating all sorts of new math for bartenders.

The Question and Answer guide to the law for bar owners written by the DABC suggests not even state liquor regulators can figure out the new rules. Here's Question No. 11:

• Q. I am a private club and intend to serve 1.5 ounce primary alcohol. If a member orders a rum and coke, can I set down another rum and coke if he has consumed at least ¼ of his initial drink?
  
• A. Probably, as long as the drinks are not put down together. This is a judgment call. Besides, as a seller/server of alcohol, why would you want to do that? Wouldn’t you rather wait until the patron has finished the drink before serving another?

Not clear enough for you? Try Question No. 3, which takes the opposite approach to the above long winded response. Here, a similar two-drinks-one-customer query is simplified to a Zen riddle.

• Q. As a private club we are discussing serving a 1.25 ounce primary pour. Can we then have 2 of the same drinks in front of a customer?
  
• A. Yes, as long as one (or both) is not a shot of the same liquor.

Chant the answer long enough and eventually the solution will become clear to you.

Below are some of the other questions the DABC says it has received from club owners about the new liquor law, and the liquor enforcement agency’s answers. Study up. Here’s hoping you guess the right answer next time an undercover booze cop stops by asking for two rum and cokes.

Q. As a private club we intend to stay with a 1-ounce pour. If a member wants 1.5 ounces, can I pour 1 ounce primary pour then ½ ounce of the same liquor from flavoring?

A. No.

Q. My ring system can pour different sizes. Can I pour 1.5 ounces, 1 ounce and ½ ounce of flavoring from the same bottle?

A. Yes, if the dispensing system can account for each primary portion (regardless of the size) dispensed from the same bottle.

Q. As a private club, can we make it our policy to have the first drink 1.5 ounces then the 2nd and 3rd only 1 ounce, and ¾ ounce on each drink after that? Am I required to charge different prices?

A. Yes, as long as the customer is aware of the portion and each is priced accordingly.

Q. Our liquor system will pour different amounts at the push of a button. Do I have to indicate what quantity is being poured?

A. Yes.

Q. Can I advertise on a sign within my club that I pour 1.5 ounce drinks?

A. Yes.

Q. What pour amount will DABC check when they test my gun or ring system?

A. Whatever size the licensee says the system is set to pour.

Q. How will Liquor law Enforcement know how much liquor I put in a drink or in front of a customer?

A. The same way they do now.

Q. I am a private club. Can I serve 1.5-ounce drinks on Monday through Thursday from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. if I do not advertise it as “happy hour” and charge more than my regular 1-ounce pour?

A. No. A drink may not be sold at a special price for a portion of the business day.

(Ted McDonough)

Give the Smiths Their Damn Booze

[Liquor Laws] Hey kids! Frustrated to death with Utah's stringent liquor laws? Maybe even a tad confused?

Well, join the club. So are Mr. and Mrs. Smith!

The Smiths are a "hypothetical couple used to frame scenarios explaining Utah's regulation of alcoholic beverages," according to a presentation legislative lawyers gave our state lawmakers last week. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (and there they are, to the left!) debuted at a regular work session on the Hill called "Bagels and Briefings."

In one case, the Smiths decide "to open a restaurant in Park City." They want to provide beer and wine. What do they do?

In another, out-of-town friends are coming to Utah for a ski weekend. How, for glory's sake, will the Smiths explain the club membership cobweb to their visitors?

There's also a "statement of advantages" for selling alcohol through state stores: No 1 reason? It's a reliable revenue source.

And why is it important for the state to set strict policies surrounding liquor sales and control?
No. 1 reason: A state-run system is "non-partisan and free of partisan political influence."

Complete with cheesy clip art, the 19 pages on the link "Common Myths and Constituent Questions" will totally educate you. So belly up to the bar, everyone. The Smiths are waiting for ya!

(Holly Mullen)

All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt

[Beer] Add another inexplicable state liquor policy to the endless list of rules that makes us go wha???

Greg Schirf's Wasatch Beers last week launched its latest concoction--"The Devastator"--a double bock beer that measures 8 percent alcohol by volume. For people who relish beer that goes down like malty molasses, I say more power to you and yum! (I'm more of an ale type.)

Anyway, a press package came to CW offices late last Friday, and here's the wacky liquor law part: All we got was an EMPTY six-pack carton and a t-shirt.

The shirt is OK. It's black, features a massive ram snorting steam from its nostrils and rampaging through downtown Salt Lake City, cutting a wide swath between Temple Square and the State Capitol. "Utah Will Never Be the Same," says the slogan beneath the image.

Let's see. The come-on is for a new beer. The six-pack box was empty. State law, of course, says a brewery or any other purveyor can't distribute samples to the media--even when they want us to taste and revel in the new product.

In fairness to Wasatch Beers, brewmaster Dan Burick and beer creator Adam Curfew will be on hand this Friday when Wasatch introduces The Devastator to a presumably thirsty press mob at Squatters Pub Brewery. The tasting is private. But state liquor stores have been stocking the beer since the holidays. And I gave my Devastator thundering ram t-shirt to CW resident Beer Brahman Bill Frost. (Holly Mullen)

It's Party Time

[Liquor Laws] Yee-haw, it's my favorite time of month. The agenda for the monthly meeting of the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission just arrived.

Just for yucks, you can download the DABC winter 2007 newsletter and read all about those bad people who violated liquor laws (like maybe someone sold you an illicit sidecar with that watery margarita).

Well...let's just dig into the lil' ol' DABC's bag-o-tricks and see what's in store for this Thursday's meeting:

1. Looks like adherents of that annual exercise in shameless star sniffing, the Sundance Film Festival, will have plenty to whet their whistles! There are "single event permit applications" aplenty for all those temporary iniquity dens that help keep Park City on the map every year. Guzzling will go on at Park City lodges, and a mall, and at the Elks Lodge. There's a Park City yoga studio of a mind to party, too. E&J Gallo Winery will be doing business as Turning Leaf Vineyards, so they need a permit for "The Leaf Lounge at Sundance 2008."

Call me a cynic, but I don't expect there to be much friction surrounding the permit process for Gallo and the rest of the Sundance gang.

2. Meantime, everyone else scrambling to make money on serving libations looks pretty tame. Those crazy lounge lizards, Knights of Columbus Council #1129, want a temporary alcohol permit for their "Roaring 20s Night" at St. Mary's Church Parish Center in Park City on Feb. 2. And St. Vincent DePaul Catholic Church in Holladay is doing the "Rat Pack at the Stardust," also Feb. 2.

3. My favorite permit request: Catering firm Western Food Services is seeking a temporary permit for Jan. 18 through Feb. 17 at downtown's Rose Wagner Theater for Menopause, the Musical. Hmmm. Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Hand over the hormone supplements, DABC, and no one gets hurt!

(Holly Mullen)

Liquor Laws Explained

[Booze News] In my conversation with Bobbie Coray for a news story in the Nov. 8 City Weekly, the controversial liquor commissioner insisted non-drinkers on the DABC aren't trying to make life hard for drinkers. They just don't know any better.

"We keep thinking it's the Mormons keeping us down, keeping the drinkers down. It's not," she said. "The Mormons don't care. They don't go to the Legislature saying, 'This is wrong,' because they don't know what you are talking about. It doesn't apply to them."

Coray—who acknowledged she is still trying to figure out Utah liquor rules herself after being appointed to the commission this summer—compared Mormon comprehension of Utah liquor laws to listening to her husband talk football.

“He knows all the scores and all the players. He can talk to me and my eyes just glaze over,” she said. “It isn’t that the Mormons are particularly trying to [toughen] liquor laws, it’s just that they don’t care. As long as they can get their Diet Coke they don’t care.”

That might explain why some liquor commissioners have been recently quoted saying they’ve asked around, but haven’t heard any legitimate complaints about Beehive State liquor laws.

Coray has asked fellow commissioners to consider holding public hearings for the public and restaurant owners to air gripes about “quirky” booze laws. (Ted McDonough)

Today's New Liquor Law

[Brew News] Beer distributors might have to make a special label just for the Beehive State, if the Utah Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission gets its way. A new proposed DABC rule gives new meaning to "Utah beer."

The federal government already sets standards for alcohol labels. But they aren't good enough for Utah, according to the DABC rule just released for public comment. One problem: Utahns apparently don’t understand “Lager” and “Stout” mean there is beer in a bottle.

Federal law requires labels to read “beer,” “alcoholic beverage” or “contains alcohol,” but also accept words like “ale.”

The issue came up after health officials complained to the DABC that energy drinks containing alcohol were being sold in grocery and convenience stores in bottles that made the drinks look like soda or tea.

Under the proposed Utah label rule, distributors of 3.2 percent beverages would submit labels to the DABC for review and approval. Only the words “beer” or “alcoholic beverage” are acceptable. The words must be in bold capital letters “a minimum of 3 millimeters wide and 3 millimeters high” running along the base of the bottle on a solid, contrasting background separated from any other information. Lastly, the label must state the amount of alcohol by volume or weight.

Aimed at new non-beer malt beverages appearing in grocery stores, the rule would apply to all malt beverages, including beer.

Understandably, the beer industry has concerns and wants to talk to the commission. A public hearing has been scheduled for Nov. 15. (Ted McDonough)

Out of Sight, Out of Her Mind

[News] Utah liquor control commissioner Bobbie Coray put forth the idea yesterday at the monthly (Hell, why not daily? Evil never rests!) booze meeting that alcohol bottles be obscured from the view of restaurant patrons so as not to offend Mormon diners. Yes, seriously.

"We have a dual responsibility," said nondrinker Coray. "We are to make alcohol available for those who want to consume it and at the same time not make anyone uncomfortable." She even has a name for such a partition that restaurants would have to shill out for: "a Zion curtain."

Swell. Here's another thought fraught with unoriginality: A certain towering white building downtown might offend drunks. Can we get a task force on that? (Bill Frost)