- Got any questions about sex? You can always ask Grandma!
- Not having school vouchers is the same as making it illegal for public employees to pay tithing.
- Not having school vouchers is like living in a town that's so small it has only one Wal-Mart.
- I didn't like Mitt Romney, but that was before I knew Philo Farnsworth was a Mormon. Now it's all aboard the Mitt train!
- The Herald needs to run more letters. Especially letters about how there aren't enough letters. In fact, if it weren't for those damned Englishmen, we'd be rolling in letters!
- It's an outrage! Nobody ever checks my bus pass.
- It's an outrage! The article should have read: "Seven Mormons, nine Hindus, eight Jews, five Catholics, four Wiccans, three Buddhists, six Episcopalians, two Seventh-Day Adventists, three Zoroastrians, one Satanist, 17 people who described themselves as 'spiritual, but not really the churchy type,' 19 secular humanists, 8 atheists, 2 Sikhs ..." Now, isn't that better?