Friday Letters Round-Up

• I looooove bottled water! I hate Rocky! Unlike most Rockophobes, I'm from Salt Lake City (!)
  
• I think we can win this war! All we need to do is send 40,000 more troops. No, I'm not volunteering.
  
• I'm rich and I hate dog poop.
  
• I'm a 40-year-old Boy Scout. No, there's nothing weird about that. The other Boy Scouts didn't make fun of me much.
  
• I think any columnist who didn't care about Bill Clinton's blow job has no business criticizing possibly treasonous activities.
  
• Here's my list of presidential qualifications. Go ahead and dismantle the Constitution; institute a police state for all I care. Just as long as you keep the war going and are not gay.
  
• I may be wearing a tin-foil hat, but at least it's a retro tin-foil hat.
  
• First Amendment? We don't need no stinking First Amendment
  

(Brandon Burt)