Whatever Happened To Just L-I-V-I-N?

[National Panic] First Chinese toys, now British holidays?! Today's risk-averse officials are getting out of control!! It's good to be cautious, no doubt, but like overbearing yuppie parents keeping animals, food and "dangerous" playgrounds out of their kids' reach it seems everyone (including government officials) is erring on the side of paranoia. This does not bode well for the world. Seriously. Didn't anyone see Safe?



(Jamie Gadette)

Desperate Anglo Seeks Plans for Nov. 5

[Brit Tradition] If you don't know, it's Bonfire Night aka Guy Fawkes night in the U.K, former colonies and wherever groups of alcohol-friendly Englishmen gather. This is when we Brits celebrate the foiling of the Gunpowder plot, when young Guy F. and a group of like-minded Catholics tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. This celebration involves screaming "Penny for a guy" in the street next to a rag-tag doll sitting in someone's discarded pram. Money thus raised is then expended on fireworks. In the evening of the 5th, we have a bonfire on top of which sits poor Guy. And you cook potatoes in his metaphorical ashes. So ... any Brits out there with plans to do any of the above? I want to show my Anglo-American-Argentine kids a little of their father's tragic past. (Stephen Dark)