More Evidence That Life Is Nicer in Britain

[Politics] While we're at each others' throats fighting over issues such as whether or not political prisoners should be tortured (as long as we feel really, really scared), or why we should continue to deny equal protection to gays and lesbians (since loudmouthed Christians can't help but spend hours obsessing over the mechanics of sex), our friends across the pond are dealing with pubs that don't fill beer glasses all the way to the top.

It's real beer, too! I say, fill those glasses, gentlemen! (Brandon Burt)

Fun With Conflicts of Interest

[Politics] This week's cover of City Weekly focused on some of the legislature's most grievious conflicts of interest when it comes to legislators legislating with their personal profit in my mind. In another article Ted McDonough highlighted some potential ethics reforms coming up, and pointed out that currently legislators have to vote on every bill that comes up.

These articles beg the question of why we even have conflict of interest forms? As it stands now the forms act only a a resource to the public. One I doubt is very much utilized. But then again there is a very real reason why. We just can't be bothered.

These records for the most part are all online nowadays, convenient?...well it could be.

But let's face it as a generation becoming very adept at surfing the web, we've all been conditioned to focus on websites with smooth, sleek and accessible links and features. With most web based business betting their entire fortunes on sleek websites, it's no wonder that we've been conditioned to gravitate towards a functional and aesthetic web layout-and to bounce fast from ones less user-friendly.

Now that being said...go check out the Utah state legislature website.

You'll find the House Conflict of Interest forms under the House bar. Ok simple enough, now try and find the senate conflict of interest forms. You'd think they'd be under that senate tab right? Well turns out your wrong.

For more fun try checking out financial disclosure for candidates on the state election site. Think it would be listed under "Financial Disclosures"? Well that's a good, intuitive guess...but ultimately wrong.

Now for the ultimate exercise in websurfing frustration take any one of the vague and anonymously listed Political Action Committee's from a candidate's disclosure report and then try and go find any info for that lobbyist group on the state election offices Lobbyist registry.

If you can do that inside of 20 minutes I'll buy you a beer.

Hmm, let me hedge my bets a little bit, if you can find that info out in 20 minutes without whispering under your breath "what the fuck?" as you navigate these labrynth like websites--then I'll buy you a beer* (Eric S. Peterson)

*Not a real offer folks, besides isn't doing your civic duty reward enough?

The Pizza Hangover

[Nightlife Gone Wrong] I've got the most appalling hangover this morning. This I blame not on my own stupidity for imbibing ridiculous amounts of sudsy liquor last night with a good friend but rather on the bizarre establishment that is Monk's under the Walker Center on 2nd South between Main and State.

Bizarre because for a start although it says it opens at 6 p.m. if you turn up at an hour later you might be lucky enough that someone's opened the door. The real problem though is if you want to eat. Ask at 7 p.m. for food--and their menu stretches to pizza--and the young lady behind the bar in between drags on her butt says you can eat at 9 p.m., when the short order guy gets in.

So you place your order at 9 p.m., having lost several times at pool and consumed several pitchers of Heineken. The pizza however doesn't arrive until 10:30 p.m. By which time you're hammered enough to have given up all thoughts of complaining and just gratefully sink into the gooey pepperoni pizza as if it were your last meal before the dawn firing squad.

Moral of the tale: Eat first before you drink at Monk's, I guess, or don't drink at all. (Stephen Dark)

Today's New Liquor Law

[Brew News] Beer distributors might have to make a special label just for the Beehive State, if the Utah Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission gets its way. A new proposed DABC rule gives new meaning to "Utah beer."

The federal government already sets standards for alcohol labels. But they aren't good enough for Utah, according to the DABC rule just released for public comment. One problem: Utahns apparently don’t understand “Lager” and “Stout” mean there is beer in a bottle.

Federal law requires labels to read “beer,” “alcoholic beverage” or “contains alcohol,” but also accept words like “ale.”

The issue came up after health officials complained to the DABC that energy drinks containing alcohol were being sold in grocery and convenience stores in bottles that made the drinks look like soda or tea.

Under the proposed Utah label rule, distributors of 3.2 percent beverages would submit labels to the DABC for review and approval. Only the words “beer” or “alcoholic beverage” are acceptable. The words must be in bold capital letters “a minimum of 3 millimeters wide and 3 millimeters high” running along the base of the bottle on a solid, contrasting background separated from any other information. Lastly, the label must state the amount of alcohol by volume or weight.

Aimed at new non-beer malt beverages appearing in grocery stores, the rule would apply to all malt beverages, including beer.

Understandably, the beer industry has concerns and wants to talk to the commission. A public hearing has been scheduled for Nov. 15. (Ted McDonough)

Lost Weekend

[Event Re-Planning] Sadly, this weekend's Utah Brewers Festival at the Gallivan Center has been canceled due to "imminent bad weather," so adjust your beer-drinking plans accordingly. Good thing no local corporate "indie" publications bought a sponsorship and dedicated several pages of ass-kissing ad-copy "journalism" and a front cover to the event ... oh, what? Never mind.

Also, X96's annual Big Ass Show has been moved from the Utah State Fairpark to the indoor environs of the Salt Palace, because there's nothing sadder than emo band getting rained on—the mascara runs, they can't see the chord numbers the roadies taped to their guitar necks, etc.

Tonight, maybe take a State Street tour and check out Sound of Urchin at Burt's Tiki Lounge and The Saddle Tramps one block north at the Bar Deluxe. Tomorrow night, all of us in the office are compelled to attend City Weekly's own Linsday Larkin's birthday bash at Orange (533 S. 500 West) or forever sleep with one eye open. Join us, won't you? (Bill Frost)